I did not expect this kind of response to an “innocent” question? 😈?

[Anonymous]

I have a female coworker that thinks a male coworker might be interested in me. I was not convinced but I told her if she wants to try to set it up she can, as I am more curious than anything. No harm, no foul right?
I didn’t want to be direct because I knew he would probably be weird about it but my coworker insisted he would laugh the question off and make a joke or something like that.
So…she texts him mentioning she notices us talking and asked if he would be interested in having something set up. In response he calls her all upset, accusing her of talking to me about this, and then saying we are coworkers and he doesn’t want to make things awkward.
All he had to do was text he was not interested and that would have been that.
What would YOU make of this response?

[WindAtMyBack]

I can see a couple of possibilities.

He said something to her in confidence, but didn't have any intention of following through with anything. For a lot of people, affairs between co-workers shouldn't happen. In some companies it's even against the rules. So just because he is attracted to you doesn't mean he wanted to do anything about it.

Another possibility is that he is shy. He mentioned to her that he was attracted to you, but when it came time to move a step forward he got scared and made excuses to get out of it.

[Asker]

I wouldn’t consider him to be shy but he doesn’t seem the most confident when it comes to certain things. I genuinely feel he has been very hurt in the past.
It didn’t sound like he said anything to her beforehand but you never know…

[WindAtMyBack]

A person can seem very outgoing and friendly, but when it comes to anything remotely romantic or intimate suddenly they freeze up. I know because I used to be like that, and I know a lot of other guys are too.

[Asker]

This is so true. I have a feeling he falls into that category.

[WindAtMyBack]

If that's true you will probably have to pursue him more, slowly.

[Asker]

Exactly. Which is why I will be acting like I don’t know about his reaction and continuing on as I normally do. Lol

[TommyMountainFigure]

Hmmmm.. Maybe he's a private person who likes to make his own decisions in life, as opposed to other people making them for him. Or he just likes the idea of doing his work, then going home to his dog or cat..

As I'm typing this, I'm with you.. Why not just tell you thanks but sorry no.

Maybe he IS interested in you but was building up the nerve to ask you himself?

[Asker]

He is a private person. No pets though 😜

It is possible he is, but I am still not convinced.

[WhitneySnow]

He’s mad cause he wasn’t ready to confess his feelings for you

[Asker]

That was definitely one idea that came to mind. Thanks!

[WhitneySnow]

You’re welcome

[dynamicyandere]

I’m thinking either he’s shy and doesn’t want you to find out he likes you. He’d rather let you know himself—but only when the time is right, and you have a moment alone together.


Or, he’s scared of getting in trouble with HR if anything starts between you two.


Or, he genuinely is not interested and wants to make sure he isn’t pulled into any drama he wants no part of.

[Asker]

We have joked in the past about reporting things to HR. I don’t think that worries him with me. Lol!

I think he is mainly concerned about things being awkward with me at work, based solely on what he said. Which can be a flip of a coin regarding whether it indicates interest.

I guess I will just have to wait and see how it unfolds.

[jshm2]

What the hell are you? 12 year olds in the school yard?

Office romances never work, and you let your "friend" lead you both on for her amusement. The guy is within his rights to go to HR and get you both fired for harassment.

[Asker]

No. She has been trying to set up several people at work because she loves love, not for her amusement. Just asking if someone is interested once is not considered harassment. If we continue to push him to ask me out, even one more time, it is harassment and I deserve to be reported to HR. Nice try though!

[spartan55]

He probably didn't appreciate a go between considering you are allegedly 30. Pretty low rent stuff tbh.

[Asker]

I didn’t want to approach directly because I knew he would be awkward and we are still coworkers. I am not convinced he is interested so I wasn’t going to bring it up, but my coworker felt otherwise and wanted to ask if he was. This is how it turned out.

[spartan55]

Yeah, that's how teenagers handle it. Grow up.

[Rod_Iron]

Office romance often goes very wrong and some people don't even want to bother if ANYONE knows about it. I've got a buddy like that, he got fixed up by his homie but lost all interest as soon as she started blabbin to the rest of the office.

[Asker]

I am an adult. I thankfully don’t blab when it is nobody’s business. 😆
They do often go wrong though, which is why I chose to say nothing. Been there, done that.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like he was sexually harassed and some unwelcome sexual advances were made.

[Asker]

Interesting take. I didn’t think of it that way. Thanks!

[Anonymous]

Sounds to me like he felt this was a game you 2 were playing g and he wasn't amused.

[Staximus]

Maybe he's worried about getting fired

[Asker]

For what? Going to get a drink with a coworker? Coworkers do that all the time 😜

[In_Trance]

Just talk to the guy directly

[Asker]

It would have made him even more uncomfortable than what it already did.