Does this have any meaning, or am I just overthinking it?

[Anonymous]

In one of my classes, there’s this guy who sits next to me, let’s call him X. Due to some complicated issues, I thought that he might really dislike me (it’s probably not the case, but let’s not rule it out) Today, we had a substitute so everyone sat wherever they wanted, more or less, so X sat in the seat one down from me and another guy, Y, sat next to me instead. Throughout the whole class, Y made idle banter and chitchat, but there was one thing I noticed - I remember he cracked a joke once (which made me laugh) and then he turned around and said something to X that sounded oddly like “See?”. It wasn’t the only time because I did feel them staring at me (somewhat, it was almost a little disconcerting if I’m being honest) and X kept trying to read the messages that I was texting to my friends (who are girls, by the way.)

This might be my paranoia because my friends and I had just been through a long convo about X, but 1. could Y have been checking my messages to see if I had written anything about X?

Does this mean anything or am I just overthinking everything because I tend to do that a lot?

[SteveSmith1985]

It's difficult to say... It partly depends on the type of friendship X and Y have with each other. Would they REALLY be working together like that (it's possible, but it's not usual unless X and Y are "two-peas-in-a-pod"-type friends).

It COULD be a devious plan hatched by X, which enlists Y as his spy... in order to read, and then report back the contents of your text messages to X. But... to be honest, that's very much more "a girl" thing to do. Guys (IN GENERAL) are less apt to enlist their guy-friends to help them with things like "finding out what you're saying about him to your friends".

I mean, I think X likes you (obviously), but I just have trouble believing this went down the way you're thinkinng. The whole turning around and saying "see" thing... could mean a whole bunch of things: It could be 'Y' showing 'X' that you aren't so hard to get laughing. Or maybe showing 'X' you 'can take a joke' or have a good sense of humor. It could be 'Y' being an asshole and trying to show 'X' that you seem as interested in HIM (Y) as X thinks you are in him (X). It could be a million different reasons. But none of them make sense to me in a scenario where Y is working as a spy for X.

Also... I mean... I wasn't there.. but...

I'll bet X was trying to read your text messages... because of the flirting involved in him trying to see what you wrote, while you're trying to hide it. THAT whole flirty interaction (I would imagine) was the whole point of it for X. I would be willing to bet that actually finding out the contents of your messages wasn't his priority. Sure, he'd love to see what you're saying about him... but he wasn't thinking about that while you two were being all flirty as he TRIED to read those messages.

I think you aren't necessarily overthinking it. I just think you might have taken the thinking in the wrong direction 🙂

[Asker]

Oh, I say that because I might have offended X big time. I’ve asked a lot of people, and the only difference in outcome would be that he wasn’t offended by it or wasn’t offended after he found out something else about me (I can explain more, but if you ask as I would hate to bore you.)

I don’t think X and Y are BFFs who hang out all the time? I think they just talk if they see each other and joke around in class. I don’t think X and Y are really even in the same friendship group in general, but they still seem to be friends. What do you think now?

Also, X sits next to me because that was his usual spot and I got sent there when the teacher ran out of spots (I’m new). Some of his responses are really off-putting and rude, so I don’t think he likes me, but you probably know best.

Could it be that Y was showing X what kind of jokes got me laughing? And honestly I think I sounded a lot more interested in Y than X, though I’m more attracted to X.

And SORRY I meant Y was trying to reading my messages, X sits next to me. I’ll update the question right now! I don’t think Y was flirting with me, though…? It sounded… neutral…? And I don’t think X knew about that convo, but one of the girls (women issues) mIgHt have leaked it to him? And honestly I don’t mean to counter you, but I’m certain that X isn’t interested. I think he has a girlfriend (I could very wrong) and he’s friends with a lot of the popular girls. Besides, I don’t think I’m his type, really.

Thank you so much for taking the time to write such a long response!

[SteveSmith1985]

Oh you can absolutely disagree with anything I said here. You have a million-times better understanding of all of the dynamics involved here. I'm left trying to make an educated guess (with imperfect information).

I'll be honest, I don't fully understand the dynamics between all the players involved here. So don't think I'm 'confidently' interpreting... anything about this. Just... possible suggestions which might not even apply.

But: "no I didn't get the impression that Y was flirting."

"I don't know how I knew you had a thing for X rather than Y... but somehow I did" 😉

And fair enough, X may not be interested. Its entirely possible that the whole "flirty scenario where he tries to see your messages while you laughingly try to hide them" is entirely different from what happened.

But the answer then, to your original question is: "yes, I think you are overthinking this. I do not think X and Y were working together on this:".

🙂

[Asker]

Well X is isn’t really that kind of guy so maybe he did, maybe he didn’t ask Y to do it, I can’t say. All I know is after my “friend” might have leaked info he seemed nicer 🤷‍♀️

[SteveSmith1985]

Well, it sounds like THAT'S the important part here! If he's gotten nicer, then, at the end of the day, isn't that what matters? Because from there, you two can talk, get to know each other and whatnot, and from there who knows what happens. So, yes, I think you are overthinking this 🙂

[MTC29]

Guy Y is smooth. Guy X isn't.

Y told his friend X, "Dude, what is your problem? sit back and watch how quickly I can make her laugh," and then he proved it.

[kao118]

So what does the fact that Y was trying to read my messages mean?

[Asker]

Huh. I never thought he wouldn’t be smooth, he’s one of the popular guys and I’m, well, not XD