Why do I feel like I was forced to be given a ride home?

[Anonymous]

i work with this guy i don't drive so today he is like lets get some extra stuff done so we stayed late.

so he's like this girl i know will you give a ride home she is taking me home also i did not want to get a ride home from her i was going to take a lyft he made me feel like i was forced to let this girl give me a ride home.

he was like if you take a lyft & she comes & i tell her you did not want her to give you a ride home she will get offended
in my head i was like i dont give me fuck leave me alone

[SteveSmith1985]

Yea... it sounds like you should have dug-your-heels in and absolutely insisted on taking a lyft home if you feel this strongly about it.

While the other guy was no doubt overbearing and obnoxious... I think he DID come from a place of "good intentions". I think he was genuinely trying to do you a favor. I know, for sure, that he didn't ever understand just how uncomfortable you were with having this girl you don't know give you a ride home.

So basically, the guy was being a jerk... by accident. WHat I mean is... if you could have made it clear to him (even if it took more convincing than usual) that you TRULY would prefer to pay for a ride-service because you are REALLY AND ACTUALLY not alright with having this girl drive you home.

Now, whether or not it SHOULD be your job to be extra clear in order to not end up being forced...(to do anything)... that's another conversation entirely.

The reality is, though, that had you been willing to EXPRESS YOURSELF to this guy as forcefully as you FEEL ABOUT IT INSIDE... you wouldn't have ended up in a situation where you felt forced to do something you didn't want to do. The potential cost of doing that, is 'social niceties" stuff. And... when it's something you feel someone is "forcing" you to do against your will.. Fuck social niceties. To be honest though, what usually would happen, is, (like I said), if you dug in your heels, the guy would eventually realize that continuing to pester you about it would be a jerk move.

But... at the end of the day, it IS up to you to not allow yourself to be forced. Sounds like the other guy was kind of an ass though. 🙂

[TommyMountainFigure]

What you should of done is ask her if it was ok, as that other guy volunteered her to give you a lift home.
Then it was up to her.. not him..

I completely understand because I hate it when people volunteer for me to give others without asking me first.. I PROPER hate it.

[SecretsofKB]

Yeah, it does seem like you were kind of forced into it, which your coworker shouldn't have done.