If I’m genuinely not a bad person, then why do I suck with women? What am I not understanding about them? What is it that they actually want?

[WhiteBoyChill]

I feel like I’m just not understanding women these days.

I’m a kind and respectful guy which is what they claim to want but so far that on its own hasn’t gotten me anywhere.

And it isn’t because I put on this fake act either. It isn’t because I expect any personal favors from them. That is just who I genuinely am as a person. People deserve kindness and respect unless they’ve given me a reason to revoke it, in which case I will cease my interactions with them instead of stooping down to their level.

So while I understand women not wanting weak men who don’t value themselves and elevate them on a pedestal, that’s never something I’ve been guilty of.

So maybe some people consider it unmasculine how I choose to avoid conflict, but at the end of the day I’m just an ordinary guy trying to live life, and maintain a peaceful state of mind.

So I guess maybe the problem is that I don’t sell my image enough. I haven’t convinced women that I am anybody special worth having.

But at the same time I have no interest in trying to learn all these gimmicky tricks to try and make myself appear more attractive because I’m my own person and I value my self identity.

I consider preservation of my own self-identity more important than trying to conform to somebody else and put on a fake image.

So I guess maybe its also my unwillingness and resistance to change that’s holding me back.

But its only because I want a woman who likes the real me. Not a fake version of me.

But for some reason being a man women feel attracted to isn’t as simple as they make it out to be.

I’m everything they claim to want but there’s clearly some other things they aren’t telling us as a society.

[DoctorSex]

As a man who's been with over 100 women before he hit 26, i think I'm best to answer this question and hopefully help you with this dilemma.
The reason a lot of men get catching women wrong is firstly, they ask the prey how to be caught? .
If you want to know how to catch a fish young brother, you *ask a fisherman* , not the fish, the fish cannot tell you.
I need you to internalise that last sentence. Read it again, and then re-internalised that statement, got it? Ok good. Now let's begin.

Firstly to be a good fisherman you spend a lot of time just finding where fish are easiest to catch. Sometimes you may never find that place all day, sometimes the water you are in is just too salty for fish to live, let alone be caught. But as you study and learn, you get a sense of where fish rise to the surface. Now you know where fish are easiest to catch, but the question is now, how do you catch them!

*Fish are slippery, you need strong hands brother.*
You may be right handed, but the hand you left has to be strong as well...
My last piece of advice is.. you'd think fish would know not to rise to the surface In the same way everytime... The fishermen are getting smarter after all! But that's the nature of fish... Fish just, are. They experience life in the moment, they rise at the same point and disappear when the waters change, and they fight the fishermen on the hook the same way, and they riggle in his hands the same way. *Get used to wrestling fish.* You just need to strengthen both your strong hand and the one you left idle all those years back when someone told you to focus on your strong hand and to ignore the other.

Kind regards,

Dr Sex

[ImJustSomeGuyLol]

Aren't you the same guy that said you were going to tell on your sister for staying at a hotel with her black boyfriend? Then sit here talking about "If I’m genuinely not a bad person" I guess racism is just one of those great qualities in a good person 🤣🤡

[WhiteBoyChill]

How’s it racist to be concerned for a sibling? Black men are known for knocking women up

[DoctorSex]

I have you advice but I wish I didn't... I'm going to leave my answer for other men, but you're just a horrible person.

[WhiteBoyChill]

@DoctorSex 76% of black children live in single parent homes. That is a reality

[DoctorSex]

Are you referring to across the globe? Or in America?

[WhiteBoyChill]

@DoctorSex in America specifically. I have great respect for African black people but I cannot truthfully say the same for a number of black people living in America.

Granted I also hate at least a third of white people living in America as well.

So it has more to do with ideology than anything else

[DoctorSex]

So you aren't American, but you have a deep problem with African Americans. You'd stated that your issue has nothing to do with others that share their skin colour, so then your issue is with the culture specifically.

African American culture is very different than African culture. Africans for the most part, never went through 400 years of slavery, a theft of their language, r*pe of their women and children, castration, burnt at the stake, separated from their culture, separated from their language, children were snatched from mother's, the list of horrors goes on and on.

You described yourself as a "kind" and a "Respectful" person,
What do you think contributed to the culture of African-Americans that you're so against today?

[WhiteBoyChill]

@DoctorSex Again I am American. Also slavery and rape happened in Africa as well among the tribes. It was quite common

[DoctorSex]

Ahhh now we're getting into your justifications, hopefully I can purge you of this affliction.

Yes you are right. There was slavery in Africa.
However just like the word "there", it sounds similar to other words like "their" or "they're", but although they sound similar, they are completely different in nature.

Africans did not castrate their slaves, African slaves historically had greater rights than employees in our current economic setup, African slaves could own land, property, even other slaves and eventually marry into their masters family.

Chattel slavery is a completely different monster completely, it is in every word, the work of the devil.

So tell me, how come the culture of Ghanians is very different to the culture of African Americans that you despise so much?

[WhiteBoyChill]

@DoctorSex I could not tell you why they are different but I’ve seen firsthand that they are different

[DoctorSex]

Well until you can tell me and others why they are different, do your best to control your feelings. I think you are a person that is confident in his judgements and when you believe something, you'll debate your position until you are proven wrong. It's an admirable thing to have self confidence.
Did you know the United States bought a piece of land in Africa to return freed slaves during the 17th Century?
(Admittedly they bought it at gunpoint off Africans chiefs, but non the less they bought it)

That land is now called Liberia. Do you know what the African American settlers did to the indigenous Africans when they settled? ...

They did exactly what was done to them, onto Africans.

The first Liberian female president wrote in her autobiography, in regards to the African American settlers who took frequently took young indigenous children as servants and slaves, In this particular extract, they took her parents;

"The line between him (her father) and the family was always clear, and he was punished if he
was disrespectful or did something wrong. Once, for some infraction, he was
stuffed into a large bag and hung over an open fire as punishment. He wasn’t
held there long enough to be injured, just long enough to make the point."
...
"The first family treated my mother very poorly, more as an indentured
servant than as a foster child. She had no room of her own, not even a bed, but
often slept on the table or even sometimes beneath it with the family animals.
Her days were full of chores, and she was neither properly fed nor groomed."

I say all of that to say this, who African Americans are, the culture and mindsets they've developed. Is the legitimate child of the American culture. They are your children and they reflect your mindset. To hate them is to hate yourself.

Kind regards,

[Smoke-n-Growls]

Well, then what's the real you?

You've briefly talked about your general approach to others - respectful, kind, etc - and how you're not one to be fake. I totally get that.

But what are you really like?
What interests you, what activities do you do, what groups are you a part of, what sports or physical activity do you do?

Being kind and respectful is a great place to start, but that's just the basics of being a good human. What is going on in your life that would excite this other person to join in on? What would you want most to share with them?

[WhiteBoyChill]

To be honest. There really isn’t much that interests me and I prefer to spend my free time on my phone

[Guy13]

To me, both you and the women your age do not know what they want. Changes day-day as they experience life. The Media and Internet sure don’t know as most of that worldview ends in an internal emptiness.

[WhiteBoyChill]

I want marriage and long term relationship ever since I was 17

[Guy13]

WOW…that’s such a rarity. They are looking at your ability to provide at your age. Job, Income, own condo, etc. Ephesians 5, the MAN part and Proverbs Wife…. IF you want to understand basic expectations of their Man.

[OlderAndWiser]

"If I’m genuinely not a bad person, then why do I suck with women?" Perhaps because having success wth dating is not determined by whether you are a good or bad person.

[WhiteBoyChill]

I don’t understand. If someone is a good person, wouldn’t that make them better suited for a relationship?

[OlderAndWiser]

You can be a good person without having an understanding of the real differences between men and women, having a grasp of their needs, and being patient and sensitive to the fact that they are put together totally different from men.

Men Are From Mars, Women Are From A Parallel Universe

[WhiteBoyChill]

So what are the key differences I should know then?

[OlderAndWiser]

In 25 words or less? I've been dating and in relationships for the past 50 years. It doesn't condense to a few sentences or paragraphs.

[WhiteBoyChill]

So in other words. It is a very complicated subject that takes time to understand.

That’s good to know and all but respectfully, how can I get better?

[OlderAndWiser]

The first step is to stop assuming that a woman, placed in the same circumstances that you are in, would be thinking or feeling the same way that you think and feel.

[peedy]

LOL don't asked me, probably not a man alive that knows, but in do know from personal experience is nice guess finish last so you're not alone

[MountAverage]

Being a good person might get you friends, but why would it make you attractive?

[FilmGuy93]

You probably just don't excite them.

[WhiteBoyChill]

What does it take to excite them?

[FilmGuy93]

A sense of adventure. Good humor. Good story telling. Hobbies. Be a good talker. Be good at flirting.

[msc545]

money looks height.

[WhiteBoyChill]

I’m probably an 8 in terms of looks but that’s about it

[msc545]

Sorry brother, but you have to also be tall - at least 6" or more, and most importantly RICH. 90% of women go for the upper 5% of men. So 95% of men are left with the lower 10% of women.

[WhiteBoyChill]

I’m dying alone then

[msc545]

We all are. You are not alone.