Why did he ghost me after I told him about my sexual assault?

[Anonymous]

The guy whom I was talking to from the past month ghosted me after I told him that I went through sexual assault when I was a kid. Did I do the wrong thing by opening up to him? Why did he do that any ideas?

[MattSmall]

An ex of mine opened up to me about her past abuse. It explained a lot about why she was the way she was, but for a lot of guys it's a question of what COULD come up in the future. Trauma has a way of weaving itself into your personality in odd ways; ways that you might not recognize for decades, but they're there.

Honestly, it probably scared him away. That's not to say you shouldn't be open with your partners though. It's just that everyone is going to react differently and his reaction was shit.

[Asker]

did it make the way you look at her different? I mean did it make anything different

[MattSmall]

Not really, but I was a bit more patient and careful with her when it came to the bedroom. I took care not to bring up anything she wasn't ready to deal with.

[Asker]

that is so sweet of you.

[MattSmall]

I'm just sympathetic when it comes to trauma. I did a lot of things that left mental scars, and ten years on I'm still figuring out what they are. I get it, and to anyone else who deals with those feelings of "why do I do this" and "what's wrong with me" because of what they've gone through, I'm genuinely sorry. It's a long road to recovery, but you'll get there if you stay positive, and be mindful of yourself.

[Asker]

yes I am positive that one day I will get over it. Thank you

[Anonymous]

Something he didn't want to deal with, OR, you were getting too "real" for him and wasn't looking for anything like that with you. So you might see it as "wrong" but it was good, because even though it didn't get you what you wanted, you're better off because if he doesn't want anything real with you, best to know that now right? And this is something that a guy should know as well, even if he did want something with you. Either way a good thing!

[Aerissa_Jade]

Some a-holes think we are damaged goods after that... I've flat out been told I'm damaged goods by some men, when I open up.

You did nothing wrong, but in a good way you got rid of him before investing too much time... cause years could of been wasted if you didn't open up until later and then he took off.

[Asker]

I am sorry that you had to go through that

[Aerissa_Jade]

Likewise, it sucks how many of us have to.

[WhitneySnow]

He figured it would be too hard to get you to be sexual so he lost interest. That’s terrible!

[MCheetah]

He might have been in shock and didn't want to risk dealing with the baggage or potential sexual assault claims with a woman who's been through that before. I don't think it's right for people to ghost others, though.

[JakeS00]

I don’t think you did anything wrong opening up. They just couldn’t accept your past life. And that means it’s time to move on.

[Asker]

yeah...

[mark000h]

You didn't do the wrong thing. He wasn't man enough to be understanding and couldn't deal with reality. It's better you found out rather than after you got attached to him.

[Anonymous]

Because he's not a real man

A real man wants to rip the sonovabitches head off and shit down their neck after some torture, they need to suffer for what they've done

[In_Trance]

because he can't deal with it

[theone_]

You have done nothing wrong