Why do white men - specifically English speakers - whine about women having no standards when having standards or simple expectations isn't wanted?

[Anonymous]

A friend is an attractive woman. But she has standards. Are they ridiculous? Hardly. Has a job (not 80,000+), hygiene, sense of humor, etc. Basic things.

Yet when trying a "dating forum" - not an app - the only ones who approached / showed interest were those that were not English or even not white/european.

Is a self-respecting woman who doesn't dress/act like a skank too much for white English speaking men nowadays?

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+1 y

*by not English I mean were of other European ancestry.

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+1 y

To be CLEAR she doesn't have an issue with minorities, etc. - growing up in a major city she had more friends from other cultures than she did fellow English speakers.

This is more a point - many men on this site profess they're white & English and want a woman with standards yet in practice seems not.

[Mia-Wallace]

I don't really understand what you're saying.

People date individuals, not groups. You have to find that specific man for you, and that happens by going out there and listening to men and befriending them etc. Connecting with them on a very personal level and in many cases "developing" feelings rather than waiting for some instant connection/chemistry.

"Self-respecting woman" says nothing about you. "A woman who has standards" says nothing specific about your character - everyone has standards. You can avoid "dressing like a skank" but be a Karen. You have to get far more specific to find out why this or that specific man aren't attracted to you. What are your values? How do you act in social settings? How much do you like people? How much time do you spend with others? How funny are you? Etc etc.

Online dating is not going to work most of the time. A better approach is to start making friends and speaking with men instead.

Speak, show your character, show your beliefs. And don't do it just "to date", just enjoy the moment. Be you. Be real. Enjoy connecting to people and helping them etc.

[Asker]

And if she lives in a small town where most men who are single are either into drugs, are boozehounds or on welfare, sleep around, etc. - married & dating men were widely taken up before she moved there for a job.

[Mia-Wallace]

That's a tough situation then. Try talking to people online. Meeting people from the nearest city. Try finding another job in a better city/town.

[Nomadic_Frog]

I am Mediterranean. Some consider me white. Others don’t. I am white enough where I do not struggle with oppression in the same way my black family members do or any other oppressed group in America. That being said, I don’t like to generalize for any group of people. However, I think the answer to your question is yes, it can be too much to ask for white men. White men that grow up having fathers objectify women and woman that are backseat drivers of a family. In many cultures men are the controllers of the family. But based on my experiences with my black family members and close family friends that are culturally Latin American; many have extremely strong inspiring women that hold the family together. There might be some masculine mistreatment of women but the children grow up respecting these strong woman figures (I did). Anyway there are many good white men and there is a large portion of white men that mistreat women. My advice, don’t change yourself for any man. White or not. And don’t let the white man dictate your standards or how you feel about yourself.

[Asker]

She doesn't have an issue with white, English or what not. I am just posting this because so many of the ironically white & English speaking on this site insist that women should have standards, etc., etc.

Yet when put into practice it seems they're not interested.

And she would understand exactly what you are saying about Mediterranean & latino/hispanic families. She is that sort of strong woman...

[Nomadic_Frog]

Ah, i hear your point. I agree with you. I see that not only on this site but in many other aspects of life and the Internet.

[Anpu23]

Its a couple of things that are probably going on.

1 She might be too prety, a lot of guys simply don't approach attractive women. Especially guys who are actually dating material.

2 There might be something in her profile that is a red flag to most English speakers. Guys are quite literal, while women have a tendency to over think, guys have a tendency to under think. Something like "I like a good meal." A guy may very well read " I only go to expensive restaurants."

[Asker]

People close to me describe me as easy-going, friendly, and nurturing with an excellent sense of humor and a ready smile. Even when busy I make time for family and friends. I love to cook!

I am curious; love learning. Working about the house, hiking, exploring, trying new things (I'd try unique food even if once), gardening, arts, conversations, and more.

Looking for a partner to grow with who enjoys life, trying new things, and also doesn't take themselves too seriously.

[Asker]

That's her initial profile - little sections go into more detail but that's the first thing a person will see.

[Anpu23]

Looks fine to me. But Im not looking either.

[HighValue]

After seeing the morals and actions of many White women, I now prefer Hispanic women most of the time myself. Way too many White women have been liberal, hate men, greedy, dishonest, promiscuous, etc. and are not desirable as good long term mates. People's past matters. If they are different than that, they need to make it more obvious.

[Asker]

How? It's a dating site.

[slatyb]

She just picked the wrong place to look. She should try another. Also maybe she’s not as attractive as you think.

[driven159]

I don't know if that is true, but I have never worried about any of it because you never know who might come your way at anytime

[MrCommodore]

No, well nor for this White English speaking man.

[Zolly99999]

I disagree with you. I am not like this at all..