He reached out to me after no contact for months, so why has he ignored me when I replied?

[emilyr21]

I met this guy on a tour group I went on in Australia and it was obvious he was interested in me and flirted with me a lot. Once I left the tour he text me almost instantly and we stayed in touch for a while but then he suddenly ghosted me. After a few months, he randomly messaged me saying he’d just been on holiday and decided he wanted to learn Italian and as I was such an expert, he wanted to know the best way to get started. I asked if he wanted some of my teaching materials and he said yes so I sent them to him but he’s left me on delivered for days. It was weird that we hadn’t spoken for so long and he wanted my help with languages, despite never being interested before. He always used to hype me up about my job and tell everyone about the languages I speak/work with, so I’m thinking this may have just been an easy excuse to reach out to me and he may not actually be interested in learning Italian at all. I have missed him when we weren’t in contact and I would like to talk again, so I don’t really know what to do.

[zzzrow]

I've been in a somewhat similar situation. Dude hit me up twice after not talking for a long time and I replied the first time. No answer. 2 weeks later, I double text. No answer. Then 2 years later he hits me up again. I’d love to say that I knew my worth and ignored him. But the truth is that the text only went to my old phone and I only discovered the message a month later when I went on the phone for another reason. This boy had a history of showing so much interest in me but also none at the same time. I dont get it. Very weird. If you haven't already, tell him straight up how you view the situation. If it doesn't change, cut him off. I had told the guy in my scenario how I felt he was being strange and he apologized, but no changed behavior. I blocked all his numbers and socials. He did text me with new numbers but I just blocked those too. 🤷‍♀️

[LazerBean]

My guess is he texted you when he was feeling lonely, but when the feeling passed he didn't bother anymore because he's not actually interested

[Guy13]

Sounds like a Creep to me. He is not interested in you at all. It will never be a stable arrangement. Find someone close to you...

[Vegasrunner]

@guy13 What the "creepy" aspect?

[Guy13]

Hot/Cold, Appear with Story just to get the Attention or for her to care and never engage the reference provided etc…Narcissistic Creep with secondary creepy diagnosis

[Vegasrunner]

@guy13 Oh guess we read a different story. I was looking to find the "hot/cold" aspect What's creepy about wanting to learn a new language?

[Guy13]

It is not sincere from the scenario provided. It is blatantly obvious as actions and words do not correlate positively

[Vegasrunner]

@guy13 Again we must be reading a different post. If I meet a woman and decide not to talk to her for while, not sure how that can be described as creepy. The author like most women is also leaving out her part of the story. She claims "he flirted" when they were on the group together. Once she left they texted for a while. Well I'd be interested in knowing how she responded to the flirting. If she didn't reciprocate then obviously he doesn't have an obligation to keep texting her once she leaves. Did they hook up, did she ignore him etc all these questions seem relevant. Also he asked for teaching materials and she sent them but she hasn't been responded to. From where I'm standing it sounds like she didn't receive the attention she thought she was going to get and now she's upset. If I make a request and your honor said request that's pretty much the end of our correspondence no? Ironic that she claims he may not want to learn Italian but based on her story he stopped contacting her once he got the materials so based on the evidence seems like he was a guy simply trying to learn a language. She's hurt and looking for justification so you're attempting to score points by taking her side and shifting on the hypothetical guy in the story.

[emilyr21]

@Vegasrunner I flirted back with him every time. This was a two way thing. We didn’t hook up and I never once ignored him. He never asked for teaching materials, he asked for advice and I offered him the teaching materials which he said yes to. I sent them and he never opened the message which means he didn’t actually ‘get’ the materials. We spoke about it and he started texting back instantly and had a proper conversation rather than it being about Italian.

[Vegasrunner]

@emilyr21 I'm not understanding the "creepy" aspect. Makes more sense that he ghosted u if you guys never hooked up. He probably said yes to your teaching materials just to be nice.

[emilyr21]

@Vegasrunner I agree - I don’t see the creepy aspect either. But why wouldn’t he want my teaching materials if he genuinely wanted to learn Italian like he said?

[emilyr21]

He asked for advice, and my advice was to do this particular thing. I said I could share mine with him instead of doing his own.. if he doesn’t want the materials, he didn’t want the advice either…

[Vegasrunner]

@emilyr21 I can't answer that but there's a ton of obvious logical reasons. He could have gotten materials from someone else, could have changed his mind etc. in my opinion you're looking at it from a 1-sided perspective.

[Vegasrunner]

@emilyr21 All of that may he true my point is that people change their mind all the times I mean if the roles were reverse and he was telling the story from your POV people would be comming out the woodworks telling him that he's overreacting because you have the right to change your mind.

[aintme]

think you shd bring something up casually to keep the convo going, esp something that you’ll know would be of his interests. i think its always ok to double text and shoot your shot bc well you’ll never know