What does he mean is this a red flag?

[Anonymous]

He and I were gonna talk about personal issues we were facing, he said we’ll talk about this tommorow , weeks go by didn’t hear from him… my heart hurt cause I wanted to fix the issue exc. our convo went he came back went like…

Him: Hey I don't need you to feel like you need to vent to me or make something up to me

Me : you wanted to talk

him: I did I’m sorry. It's not your fault that I have psychological issues. I shouldn't give you the impression that that is the case

he also says you may think I never talk to you but I literally talk to you more than anybody else.

so is all this a red flag? I know he’s in AA and a recovering alcholic.

Updates

1 y

And aside from that we both do like each other and wanna see each other.

[Flunkerdunk]

He is damaged, either emotionally or mentally. He knew he was either going to say or do something stupid, so he decided to be alone.

This is a yellow flag but could turn into a red flag pretty quickly.

I mean, he resolved the issue and admitted he has issues that need working on... and the last thing most men want to do is emotionally open up to women (well, we *want* to but that is usually a horrible idea in dating).

[Asker]

Any advice on what to do to make it better with him and make it work between us?
I know he’s not ready for a relationship he wants to be with me and wants an emotion physical connection and get better at that.

[Flunkerdunk]

AA member... hmm.

Let him know you aren't going to judge him and admit issues that you might have personally, too. He is still a man in your point of view and nothing is going to change that view you have of him. Let him know you understand that if he snaps at you on text, you understand that is the addiction talking, not him.

This would normally be horrible advice, but this is a niche situation and he is maybe paranoid of being judged (considering he is AA). If you are really supportive to this man in a time like this, then he will remember this for the rest of his life, regardless of how your relationship turns out. Gentle honesty and openess is how I'd personally go about this.

[Asker]

He’s been very sober since getting out of rehab …. And yea there might be hiccups but he’s no longer drinking as of late he’s been trying to find a job and getting back into real life. He misses me i always tell him I love him and am proud of him exc.

[Asker]

But yes we we hangout again I’ll mention about the texts and that I understand he doesn’t mean to snap it’s part of recovery and if he ever wants to talk about the situation on his own with no pressure I’m here for him. He also knows I care about him and thinks I’m a good person