Why do guys take so long to reply?

[Anonymous]

I met this guy on tinder we’ve been talking for about two weeks now but first he rarely asks me questions about myself like stuff guys usually are interested in knowing but he’s also very respectful and doesn’t make vulgar sexual comments like he flirts now and then but nothing crazy or overboard but whenever he messages me I respond when I see it and he takes hrs to reply even when he messages me he’s bored so I’m just curious is he not interested because we’re gonna see each other first time in person I’m nervous like he asks me wyd or tells me what he’s upto but that’s usually it why’s he being so confusing

[MrOracle]

"I met this guy on tinder."

That's already a huge fail. Tinder is for finding casual sex partners, not relationships.

Does this guy even live within 20 miles of you? If not, then one of the reasons he's not replying is that he's realizing that he's never going to get to spend time with you in real life, so this talking online is really just a waste of everyone's time.

Stay off apps. Go OUTSIDE and into the world around you. Meet LOCAL guys and date one of THEM. Someone you can actually talk to and spend time with IN PERSON. That's what relationships actually ARE.

But to answer your question more directly: most guys have a lot of demands on their time. Men tend to work more hours a week than women, and even when we aren't working, we have tasks that we're expected to get done, and many of those don't involve sitting at a desk.

Mowing the lawn, changing the oil in the cars, fixing the leaking sink, etc. are all jobs where you are using tools, it's loud, you are often dirty, and you probably aren't carrying your phone, or don't want to pick it up with dirty hands. Maybe you're working on a ladder, or under the house, or you're on a Zoom call with a teacher or customer.

OR... after doing these things, maybe he's taking a nap, or doing something to relax and let his brain unwind - mindlessly watching TV or playing a video game. Men need time away from outside responsibilities in order to recharge and regain the mental strength to get through all of their daily responsibilities - this is why men have "man caves" - so they can do whatever it is that helps them relax and unwind and be LEFT ALONE. If we are interrupted during this "recharge time", then we have to start over from the beginning, so we do everything possible to avoid being disturbed. This is just how male brains work - we didn't ask to be this way. Women TALK and SHARE when they need to deal with their stress - men need to be ALONE and UNDISTURBED. This has nothing to do with you specifically, but certainly it's been affecting you here.

Still, I can't help but go back to the fact that if he isn't LOCAL to you, then you are just wasting your time and his anyway. I'm sure you won't listen to me about this - you have to learn this lesson the hard way - but in 6 months or a year, when the distance causes this relationship to fail, please remember that I predicted it, and that you can avoid that by only dating LOCAL guys in the future.

[Asker]

I really appreciate you taking the time to answer 😊he lives 2 miles away from me and we’re going out tonight neither one of us is looking for a serious relationship he says he wants to hangout and see where shit goes I don't know what that means from a male perspective lol but thank you for responding

[Anonymous]

Because we have a life. We’re not just waiting around like an idiot for your response. We have a lot of important things in life to take care of. Not only that if you respond than it’s one text after another.

[Asker]

Lol ur right but does it mean he’s not interested or just busy

[Opinion Owner]

Hard to say. He may not be interested if he takes that long to respond. Or he doesn’t want to seem that desperate so he’s playing it cool. Although when a girl would message me that I liked I’d almost immediately write back.

[Asker]

That’s the thing maybe he doesn’t wanna seem desperate if he wasn’t interested he would’ve ghosted me by now also depends how busy u are cuz he has work and school I should be more respectful and understanding than to overthink it

[Asker]

I do appreciate you responding

[Opinion Owner]

Yes that’s hard to tell because like I said he may not want to seem to eager. It depends on how the girl takes it. If he responds right away all the time she lm sh like it but than she may think he’s desperate and too needy so I don’t know. But he may be talking to someone else as well and she’s just an option. Again it’s hard to say. And with him having a job and school that may complicate things a little more.

[Guy13]

Women are too much with emotional text dumps..

[Asker]

Yea tbh I feel like I’m overthinking it lol he does lemme kno what he was upto and also apologizes each time he takes Long to respond

[Guy13]

If you text data oriented with Reason and twice a week split one of those dissertation text in two then he will increase. You are giving him no room not to have to apologize from weeding through long text, to be playful, and return the "possible emotion" that you are hoping for.
Try it as you pull away in volume, he may me contribute.-positive emojis without written response might be best when obvious he's trying. ;-)

[Asker]

But texting late doesn’t mean he’s not interested does it 😭btw I really appreciate you responding

[Guy13]

It can mean that but it also can mean I am not interested in texting to an emotional basket case texter. Just enough to keep her kissy/huggie when I see her. No way of knowing.

[Pinay_ako]

He’s not into you. Move on

[_Just_A_girl_]

If they want you they make time

[Asker]

We’re going on a date tonight I just feel like maybe he’s not a huge texter but I don't know I can’t ask a question about this without someone being negative about me meeting him on tinder at least all guys are butt hurt about it

[888theGreat]

Why does it take females so long to get ready to go somewhere?

[Asker]

Cuz we wanna look our best

[888theGreat]

Hmm mirror must have been broken.

[Asker]

For u right yea I’m not surprised