Most guys are busy. Most of us have real jobs and can't be on the phone all day. Just this year I have fired 2 guys and had to have 2 others leave their phones in their cars during work hours because their wives/girlfriends thought that it was okay to text them all day long. It isn't.
You are NOT the only thing important in your man's life, and the time and attention he DOES give you has to be earned by getting all of his OTHER stuff done so that he has free time for you. If he's constantly texting you while you're apart, how can he ever earn any free time? Hell, how can he keep a job or get schoolwork done or even just relax?
If you have a REAL, GENUINE emergency, you can CALL HIM. Otherwise, send a text and patiently wait for his reply, knowing he may have to wait for a break or lunchtime before he gets to it.
I'm not sure why so many people feel ENTITLED to have constant conversations over text, but that isn't realistic and most workplaces certainly don't tolerate it. I know that mine sure doesn't.
Accept that texting is a low-priority form of communication - intended for things that aren't especially time-dependent - and that phone calls are for urgent matters. And by "urgent", I don't mean "this one girl talked some crap about me today and I want to tell you all about it." Urgent is something like "there's a gas leak in the house and I don't know how to turn the gas off."
I don't mean to be harsh, but sometimes it's necessary to break through people's "reality distortion field."
Guys have things to do.
Hell, most people have things to do.
So, if a guy don't reply, then assume he's doing things.
All the more reason why you need to stop following social normalcy and just do you. ^^
This whole thing about boys will be boys is so out of proportion it's not even funny anymore. Guys may do it because it's what you want or have as a criteria to date them or communicate. I miss the old days where we didn't all have cellphones, you would send letters written and you would speak on landline or meetup in person. It's just so much easier and ethical to stick to those ways of communicating. Too much of this digital age have made us complete shallow.
This is why I always says start out as friends first, get to know who they are, and don't just hand out your number to just any and everybody. And must certainly don't do it just because you want to pickup people, while thinking their cute. You don't need to play hard to get. You need to communicate the way you need to, and unless you want to give the attention, don't. It's all about their personality and how they like to do things. Texting late at night without some type of curfew for you and boundaries is always a no-no. It's not common courtesy and you have to learn to develop that. So what if they take so long? Wait for their reply or just stop communicating with people through text.
When I was your age, this upset me too. It didn't necessarily piss me off, but it made me overthink things and think they weren't into me. Now that I'm older, I'm less glued to my phone and more taking care of business. So a lot of the time, I'm the one who takes forever to text back. And sometimes, I even forget to text back. However, if I like the person, I make sure to text them back usually. I don't expect guys to be glued to their phones either. They've got jobs, hobbies, possibly school, etc. They can't be at my every beckoning call. My crush usually takes a little while to text back when he's at work, but when he's off work, his response time is pretty quick. But he likes talking. Some guys only use phones when they need them.. not for recreation. Don't take it so personally if they don't respond right away, unless they never get back to you. That might be something to worry about.
Guys really aren't into texting I think. Plus texting in my opinion isn't a good way to have a conversation, people get easily distracted, try to text when busy, or just end up forgetting they were talking to someone. Texting also causes misunderstandings and stress, people assume if someone doesn't respond in a certain amount of time then that person doesn't want to speak with them. You can't blame the person for thinking this way either, some people do prefer texting cause it's a lot easier to drop a conversation they no longer want to engage in or stop talking with that particular person. That's why people freak out cause everybody knows people do it or have done it before. It's just better to talk on the phone, in person, and not in a text, if it's something quick like a reminder then sure, other than that pick up phone and call them.
It works no favours with me I get you it can be off putting but maybe they're genuinely busy in which case they should let you know
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When you start dating a guy who replies right back each and everytime you text him.. that is the day you are dating a broke MOFO with nothing better to do. Be glad the dude has a life, a job, a passion, maybe even a purpose in his life. Be thankful for that... would you really want your man to be so needy and respond that quickly? I don't think you have thought this through LOL.
If she wants quick responses, then invite me to a coffee date or something. Otherwise, she can wait patiently like I am sure I've done with her plenty of times. Unfortunately, men aren't here to be at a woman's beckoning call and to wait upon her hand and foot, our lives don't revolve around yours so no, we don't realize it pisses you off and most guys don't really care if it does, it makes you seem rather clingy and desperate. The few girls who have expressed annoyance in my response times has received even less attention from me afterwards because it proves she doesn't understand that I have a life and that she thinks of me as some sort of servant if I'm supposed to avoid pissing her off and complying to her "text faster" demands.
She'll get a response eventually, on my break from work or when I'm done playing video games or something. I've noticed women can literally sit there and text all day which means if I'm having to respond every second of the day, my entire day is spent texting and is then wasted. No thanks.
with How easy it is to misread the tone of the text. i have had many occurrences where answering immediately you can not answer the text with the attention it deserves especially if there is something important you need to say.
I've received messages ie. "i hope you get this at a good time iwas so nervous with what to text you that this is my 4th attempt at writing you. because i really like you and did not want to come across the wrong way. (well you kinda just have i bet the 1st one was better like 90% of the time. already the spiraling out of control way away from what was intended. i openly now establish that no serious talk in txts. at least do that in voice. simple yes no questions are what they are for but deeper discussions just wait till you are face to face and do it old school. and you get the bonus of seeing your favourite person physically not digitally. or poke them on fb. when that first came out and i realised that someone who had ill intentions toward me and tried to ruin my life by trying to get me on drugs not go to uni etc. that when i saw he poked me on fb it nearly would have ended in custody. thats how bad the guy was and how he enjoyed manipulating people. so ever since i do t even have a real account i only set it up for the handful of people who insisted i get on there otherwise they couldnt keep me in our circle of friends. so why make the gestapos job rasy incase you tick all the wrong boxes one year when its cencus time. you do know what those numbers tattoed on holocaist survivors arms do t you?
There are a couple reasons why guys may not text back very quickly. For one thing he may be busy. Everyone has got their own life and honestly I'd be more concerned if he was always replying back immediately. Another possibility is that he always has his phone on silent and doesn't check his messages that often. I've got a number of friends who have that problem. And finally he may not be that interested. If a guy isn't interested and keeps receiving texts from a girl, he's likely to slow down or stop responding altogether. I'm sure you can tell from the contents of his texts whether he's interested or not (assuming that's the relationship you two have). Ultimately I doubt he's trying to piss you off, and either has a reason for why he can't respond or he simply doesn't want to talk to you. The easiest way to find out is to ask him. (PS her question was asking for the reasons why guys take a long time to reply to texts. It's not a gender war people, there's no need to point out that girls do it too.)
Does anyone else get the impression, that girls expect guys to be glued on their smartphones nowadays?
No offense but there is much more to life than just smartphones. Believe it or not but life and communication has existed way before smartphones did. I remember when cellphones were kind of hip and trend in around year 200x and I remember the Nokia 3310 being a popular device (which is why it has returned now).
If anything then smartphones make up a tiny portion of anyone's life unless someone has *really* nothing else to do.
Work? Shopping? Cooking? Driving? Social events? Studies? Sleep? Quiet hours? Cleaning the house? Or being outside in the nature?
Are these worth less than being occupied with smartphones?
Unless someone is actively monitoring the chat messages at the moment of occupation, a delayed reply is *to be* expected.
I reply when I see a text. And it can take a while before I see it. My friends can be damn sure though that I'll never leave them on "seen" and stuff like that. If the text has a suitable reply, I make sure I give them that reply.
Thing is, I have my interests to take care of. Sometimes I like to go out for stargazing and I don't use my phone for that duration (except for locating celestial objects to look at through my telescope). Sometimes I like to play videogames which I don't pause for anyone except when it's an emergency (it's my me-time). I'm a musician, I don't like listening to half a song. When I start listening to a song, I don't like it when it's interrupted because I have to start again.
They're not interested trust me. There's this guy who says he's interested and for centuries he would reply a minute after 5 minutes after or a second after. I wouldn't pay much attention because I would be busy and he would reply too quick or we're on FaceTime most of the time. No need to stress yourself because guys most definitely feel the same way when a girl he likes is taking too long to respond. He's not responding? Call it a closed case and have conversations with other people no need to stress. If someone is showing you their true colors? Believe them and take that as your red flag and dodge the bullet. Telling them won't change their actions they'll only continue on what you allow them to do. *CUT OFF*
Once that person is aware they have control of your feelings? Good luck.
Depends. If y'all asked him a question, or you tried initiatin' a convo... yeah, he should reply within 8 hours or sometin'... like a work days length... if he don't.. and it's like 24 hours.. but does consistantly, he could be a busy fella, or doesn't wanna come off TOO interested... some guys are just slow with gettin' back to everyone, not just you...
-Yer better off just askin' politely though - "Hey, this isn't a huge deal, jw why you take so long to respond?" Ya don't wanna overreact or be overly emotional on the fella if he don't know he did sometin' wrong... that's where things get outta whack, and its usually because the person feelin' more insecure chooses an improper route like usin' the silent treatment as a way to "teach a lesson." Smh.
we are guys most keep busy or we drink too much. the doers and shakers can't look at there phone five times an hour to see if they got messages. lol cause back in the day when there was no cell phones and texting. we had no leash and now its in male DNA to roam free and not teathered. don't forget men used to explore the open planes. the expansive mountain ranges. its still in our blood and we can't be answering text messages when a thousand buffalo are stampeding at your heels. or maybe they are having too much fun where they are and if they answer they will have to go home. there all good reasons. the last being the most common lol
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It's basically like a game. Reply back too early and you come across as needy. Reply back too late and you come across as not interested.
I'm pretty sure you are annoyed because you like this guy. If another guy you messaged you much later, you probably won't care at all.
In my case it's never intentional. I don't keep my phone on me when I'm home half the time so part of it is not seeing that I even have a text. If I'm doing something on the computer and someone sends me a facebook message I might check to see what it is and then have something come up to distract me from replying. I try to be the kind of person who apologizes when that happens. It's never really intentional on my part, it just happens. Also I find the whole "playing hard to get" is just ridiculous.
Wait a minute, wait a minute. I have to disagree. As a guy it's almost ALWAYS been the other way around. Most times times it's the chick who doesn't get back to me for hours or even a day later.
I have asked my son the same question when it comes to his girl friend, he says that he is busy at work and work comes first and some times he's in the middle of a video game and doesn't care to answer right away. men and boys are the same we don't care to answer right away that just life.
No. Just…no. Wrong!
I reply when I can. Usually instantly. And you know what? I don’t think, that the girls like that. They probably think I’m into them or something, when all I want, is just to talk with them.
And I can imagine, how some girl is writing article here, how guys are so annoying and keep texting her.
So, what the fuck then?
And you know what? To take it one step further, why girls cannot be bothered to answer? Just couple of days ago, in my FB group, some girl, attractive one, if I may add, was able to answer all 3 questions correctly. First one in entire day. So, I wrote her. Just about that, nothing more. Answer? None. So…can I just go kill myself now, or what?
It’s not about sex, it’s about people, who are just assholes and cannot reply. They are probably used to everyone writing them all the time. It would be really nice to lock them somewhere and just leave them. Without any contact.
I've had guys get annoyed with me for not texting back fast enough. I think this is something a lot of people get annoyed by.
For me, I'm pretty introverted and busy a lot. Maybe I don't know what to say. Maybe what they said doesn't warrant a response in my mind. Maybe I'm working. Or sleeping. Or with friends/family that I'm not trying to neglect to appease someone who isn't even there.
Whatever the reason, there's nothing more suffocating than having someone nag about this.
Unless they're blatantly ignoring you while posting on social media or something. But even in that case, let it go and move on because that jerk doesn't deserve your attention or effort anyway.
It has nothing to do with playing hard to get, a majority of guys are just busy or have their phone away from them.
I've had a few moments where I'd see I got a text and just finish what I'm in the middle of before replying, but then I'd completely forget I received a text by the time I'm done.
It's an honest mistake and it happens to quite a few people.
Guys feel and know very well that replying a little late to a message isn't going to be the end of the world, so it's not going to be on the top of our priority list.
Just be grateful he's replying at all, it shows that he's interested, even with his other things going on.
I am guilty of this myself, and yes I know its rude. I cannot speak for other men, but here are the reasons I reply late sometimes.
1. I miss placed my phone. There are times I cannot find my phone and it might take me awhile to find it.
2. I get caught up in a movie or tv show.
3. I get a phone call from a friend or family member
4. I am busy working around the house, cooking or cleaning and its hard to stop and answer questions.
Try not to take it so personal and if a guy you like takes awhile to answer the text message, tell him in a polite way, you wish he was faster to respond. I do not think its personal or it reflects the way a guy feels about you.
I am the worst at replying to texts, if I'm busy when I read it I totally forget to reply later. I don't do it intentionally, I don't play games with guys. I just genuinely forget.
I also don't get pissed of when guys don't rely straight away, getting pissed off won't change a thing so what's the point?
It can work with girls, this is true. But it's not why guys do that.
They do it for two main reasons. 1) Texting does not demand an immediate reply. If it's important, make a phone call. And 2) Guys do not measure the passage of time the way girls do. What seems like a long time to you, can appear to be a very short time to a guy especially if he's got his focus and attention on something else.
And yes, by the way, teenage boys often have zero idea that it annoys girls.
We may want to play hard to get sometimes, but we never want to *annoy* girls that we're sweet on.
I'm going to restate what most others are saying - it's because we're normally busy with something. Not necessarily something that you think is important, but that's just a matter of learning that other people don't think the same way you do.
I think that viewing it as "playing hard to get" is probably the mistake that you're making. There's a good 90% chance that their not responding immediately has nothing to do with you at all. And ultimately, one of the advantages to text messages is that we do not have to respond immediately, that we can get to it when we get a chance. Guys take advantage of that.
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