My boyfriend got beat up and his confidence?

[AlexiaK]

Help! So my boyfriend likes to play the "tough guy" and honestly I kind of like that! Anyway, this other day we went out with another couple, and the other guy and my boyfriend started talking about self defense and stuff. Then the other girl kind of jokingly proposed that they could try to see who would win in a real fight. Noone wanted to say no, so both men accepted.

Anyway, my boyfriend grabbed his arm, but in no time he got thrown onto the ground and immobilized. As he stood up again, he tried again, but ended up like that a second time. Then he stood up again and attacked him by surprise, which made the other guy very angry and blocked hin immediately onto the ground with his knee on his back, holding his arm behind his back and forcing him to apologize. My boyfriend apologized after some resistance.

That night he made up all sort of excuses to why he lost, saying also that he was wearing jeans und a denim jacket, which are not great for self defense.

Anyway, from that moment on he has lost a lot of his confidence, in real life as well as in the bedroom. And as for myself, I have to admit that I kind of lost attraction, even though I hate to admit it!!

Boys: how would you feel after losing a fight like that in front of your girlfriend? What can I do?

Girls: is it normal to be less attracted to him? Please, don't judge!!

Updates

1 y

*And lost his confidence

[BlueScorpio]

Well yeah, he proved feels embarrassed and maybe a little emasculated my the other guy. For some guys it's a hit to the ego cause they do t want to feel weak or co e off as weak, especially in front if their lady. You lack attraction comes from seeing him loose, you probably feel like he's not strong enough to protect you at this point. But as long as he tries to protect you I stead running away, then that really counts yes? Some guys won't even care to protect you or might get mad they have to.

[AlexiaK]

It's true that he may feel emasculated! As for myself, I feel good thinking that he would have fought for me but I also think that it should have been more equilibrated, but it's hard to explain :)

[NotTacocaT6969]

Congratulations on witnessing firsthand the forgotten human courting ritual.


Before humans were civilized, only the strongest men got to reproduce and the weaker ones got their asses kicked for daring to try to reproduce.


Being attracted to the male who did the ass kicking and feeling unenthusiastic about the one who got their ass kicked is hardwired into our DNA.


It’s how our ancestors chose superior genes to pass on.

[AlexiaK]

I guess that you are probably right! It's hard to admit it to oneself, but this is probably what happened, as I kind of feel attracted to the other guy. But what should I do? I still love my boyfriend, wven though I kind of feel less attracted, at least for the time being...

[NotTacocaT6969]

Just ignore it for now.

It wears off over time.

[AlexiaK]

And with the fact that he feels less confident in life and bedroom? I am afraid that he wants to challenge him again!!

[NotTacocaT6969]

You’re going to have to reassure him and just never bring up the fight again.

The reassurance should get his confidence back up without him feeling like he needs to prove himself.

[AlexiaK]

I'll try! Hope he won't challenge him again!

[tfan1]

It’s the other girl’s fault for starting all of it. Besides karate is for defense only. Never for attack. Me personally, I don’t know how to fight. Even in school I stayed to myself and avoided fights. As they say it’s better to be an alive chicken than a dead duck.

[AlexiaK]

Well, she just jokingly proposed that they could try it, but it was not supposed to be serious or whatever!! It was supposed to be equilibrated and end with a laugh, I guess. I don't feel like blaming her!

[spartan55]

Other obviously had training. Your boyfriend shouldn't have bowed up to a dude he didn't know. Why? Because you never know who you are fucking with. That's funny he tried to jump him and still got locked down. 😂

[AlexiaK]

Well, later it turned out that the other guy knows karate pretty well. But my boyfriend has always told me that he can fight well as well! We knew the couple, but I didn't know that he was able to fight that well!

[spartan55]

Have you ever met a guy who says he can't fight? Me neither.
I can handle myself, but I definitely know when to step back too. There is always someone tougher.

[AlexiaK]

Well, I haven't talked to all guys. Plus he has told me many times that he had taken karate classes and so on :/

[jimmy2]

Talk shit back it up. Can't take shit don't talk it

[AlexiaK]

Well, maybe it was just a bad day or he was not wearing the right clothing for a fight... but how can I support him?

[spartan55]

You mean the right clothing for getting his ass handed to him? If your boyfriend wants to use that horrible excuse let him. But I would not associate yourself to that shit. It's Embarrassing

[AlexiaK]

@spartan55 well, the other guy was wearing a sport suit, while my boyfriend had jeans and a denim jacket on, which look cool, but may not be the best for a fight

[spartan55]

Uh... just stop... it wasn't like he was wearing a snowsuit. He lost. End of story

[AlexiaK]

@spartan55 Well yeah, but it was not really wearing good clothes either. And what would you suggest to help him? :)

[spartan55]

Uh, train? Train some more, spar, practice. And if you think a great set of workout clothes will make the difference go ahead... 😂 😂 😂 😂

[Anonymous]

You me he stuck on off.

[AlexiaK]

What the... ?