Should I take this as a bad sign and cut off contact with him?

[emmiebelle]

I met this guy a few months back and it was clear he was interested in me. We live about 4 hours away from each other, so when we left and went back home texting was the main form of communication. We lost contact for a bit when he ignored one of my messages for over a week and then didn't make any effort to reach out again for months (I have had to have quite strong boundaries with texting as they have been messed around by boys who say they're 'just bad texters' but in the end, it has ALWAYS been something personal to me). He reached out again under the pretence of learning something related to my degree and wanting my help and we never lost touch since. We met up just over a week ago and things were great - there was some flirting and it all seemed ok. His texting changed massively almost straight after and we were having conversations with our replies bouncing straight off each other... We spoke about the texting, and he told me that even if he really likes someone he can not reply or take ages to reply and then not reply in the end 'just because' and because he often forgets - I said that I was the same (thought that cleared it all up). I told him I would be visiting a friend that lives an hour away so before going home I could go up to see him, he asked me what the date would be and when I gave it to him and he left me on delivered for just over a day and eventually opened it and never replied... The last time we met up I told him I would be in his area and he agreed to meet up and never replied to the follow-up question but was super excited to see me... (it was just his bad texting at that point genuinely). But I'm just a bit uncomfortable with the fact he never replied to the date when he asked for it... I don't want to lose contact over another text misunderstanding, but how is it hard not to take this a certain way? What do I do without a) seeming psycho, b) possibly causing another misunderstanding

[quaranta]

I think the main problem here is: he told you, and proven you, how he is. And this is not going to change, his communication is not reliable to set up any expectation to get any consistent response. But you are taking it like if you can trust it as if he is a normal texter whose messages can be trusted, and then get disappointed. Maybe you think he would change his habits if he really likes you but that's proven to not work like that.
You want a stable, skilled online communication. He proven multiple times he can't provide one, and didn't even give you any medical justification for that (let's say he has untreated ADHD or something, he didn't mention anything like that).
So you either stop trusting the bond you perceive through text, and take really all of his text as nothing more than what is written with no serious intentions behind, or, you move on to a better texter. And even protecting yourself by adapting to the lack of trust his ways require, would mean anyway moving on to someone else at some point.
Playing the card to talk about his texting skills? Done already, he basically told you:"accept how it is, don't question, I won't put any effort in changing it, take or leave".
And you can't definitely take it in the way you are taking it now because you'll end up overthinking, obsessing and spending a load of self respect and mental energies that won't be returned, and rollercoasters depending on when he responds. It's up to him to provide secure communication and to avoid all of that if he wants the girls to stick to him without being abusive. But he told you under the lines he won't improve that, so...
And that doesn't even mean he is not capable of texting continuously because as you said, he did. Apparently he does that only the sufficient amount to get the woman engaged in the thing and then starts ignoring because she is granted and all she would do is cling in response (that's what would happen most of the times). It might not even be a conscious strategy but he automatized that it works.
The one sure thing is that he won't change this aspect, unless you are as randomly unavailable as he is all of a sudden and shady, so that he'd feel continuously like having to keep you granted there and would put effort. But that's some extreme games to play, you may not even endure that for real and fool yourself while you get instead more obsessed.

[emmiebelle]

Yeah I definitely agree... it's the way he is and I can't expect him to change. I read some of our other messages when we were planning to meet up last time and he asked for the date and then didn't reply when I had sent him it, but he never forgot that was the date we were meeting up and was looking forward to it...

[xColinx]

Sorry if I missed it in your post but have y'all ever actually met in person yet?

[emmiebelle]

Yes, we met abroad and travelled together for a bit and then a week ago yesterday for the first time since then

[xColinx]

From reading your post, it sounds like you originally met in person, so I'll assume that's the case. I gotta say he seems less than fully interested, but it's hard to say why. Maybe he has a girlfriend? Maybe you're more appealing to him as a friend than romantically? Maybe he has self-confidence issues?

If I somehow misinterpreted and you've never met him in person, then I'd say his actions are a major red flag... but I don't think this applies.

[emmiebelle]

We have met in person... I met him months ago and then we met up again last week.

[xColinx]

... or maybe this guy just truly sucks at texting (specifically the replying part haha). Based on the experience y'all have together so far, I think it's worth continuing to follow up with him till you can figure out a meeting date/time. Basically, give it at least one more chance in-person, even if it's taking more effort on your part than it should need to.

One other thought... has anything physical/intimate happened during your previous in-person meetings? If so, it's possible (not saying it applies here) he could have been interested in that and then once the excitement of the hook up is gone, he's just not as enthusiastic about meeting up again. Total speculation, and again maybe that doesn't even apply here if nothing physical has happened yet.

[KrakenAttackin]

Four hours away is too far.