I met a guy a the gym and I see him everyday. He always acts as if I don’t exist when he walks past me, he ignores me and at times he looks at me as if he hates me. But when I leave the room or for whatever reason I just turn around, I’ve caught him checking me out and staring at me and then he looks away. I’ve thought of talking to him but his behavior is very confusing. Why would he act this way?
Why would a guy ignore me but keeps staring at me?
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Anonymous
(30-35)
+1 y
Have you ever considered that for as much as you feel he’s being weird towards you, he may feel you’re doing the same thing to him? I mean imagine the inner dialogue: ‘there’s this girl at the gym that I catch giving me these random looks and it’s like eye tag... did I do something? Maybe she knows me from somewhere?’. Lol because I would absolutely have these thoughts if I were him. For as much attention you think you aren’t giving, trust me you are. Quick fix would be to break the ice and say hello, rather than wait for him to acknowledge you.
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4 Reply
Asker
+1 y
I think you might be so right about that. I tried talking to him in the past but he suddenly started acting this way
Maybe you should try again! Or if anything just say ‘hey how’s it going’ when you pass by. You don’t have to do it every time, especially if he’s still not really acknowledging you then I’d brush him off and go about my workout.
Are you sure he doesn't know you? Or that he doesn't know someone in your circle and has something against you?
0
2 Reply
Asker
+1 y
Yes I’m sure, we don’t know each other. And I cannot be sure if he might have something personal because I’ve only greeted him or wave at him in the past and his response use to be friendly and positive. He just suddenly started acting that way.
Why don't you just ask him out for a coffee? it solve all your problems. All this guessing games doesn't work. If he says no, then you can move on.
Even just talking to someone without asking them out for a drink, still won't be a good indicator they like you. Ask him out for coffee, not a meal. A coffee situation, is the best way to get know someone.
I am not going to guess this guys actions, who know what he is thinking. ask him for coffee, them come back and tell us the outcome.
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5 Reply
Asker
+1 y
You’re right and I will totally follow your advice. I just don’t know how to approach him especially because he really pushes me away with his “I hate you/I’m too important” look he throws at me at times
You are over thinking his look. stop over thinking and just ask him for a coffee. Over thinking with girls has got me into so much trouble with them in the past. So now I don't assume anything with girls, unless they ask me out or I ask them out. Stop assuming, it leads to hurt.
People generally act strange some times, but its nothing to do with you. Trust me, over thinking the opposite sex actions towards, is an bad accident waiting to happen. I have assumed to many bad things about girls in the past, end up not being true. I apply the motto, unless I asked a girl out or they ask me out for a date. Then i don't think anymore about their actions towards me.
He doesn't ignore you. He's just very shy and can't approach you. I would act the same thing if I liked a girl in the gym. I would like to check on her but not make it so obvious and common to make her feel uncomfortable and weird. If you like him, ask him out. It doesn't even have to be a "date-date". Or maybe just talk to him and be "gym-buddies" first and then you can talk about meeting outside.
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4 Reply
Asker
+1 y
Thank you for your opinion. I think this is what it must be happening with him. I see him talk to other people and he seems friendly but when it comes to me, that’s where it gets confusing to me because he looks at me as if he hates me and ignores me. That’s what has pushed me away from talking to him honestly, I’ll have to overcome that.
What makes you think that? Can you explain his look? Also, when you say that he ignores you, have you directly tried to talk to him and he ignored you or you mean that he does make the first move with other people but he hasn't done this with you? Maybe it looks out like that because he is hurt deep down that he can't find the courage to talk to you so he may seem angry-sad and you take it as "hate".
I use to greet him and wave at him and suddenly he started acting like he was “annoyed”/avoiding me, he would give me the “I’m too important/ I hate you” kind of look and so I stopped greeting him. I see he talks to other people and he seems to be having fun with them. So his attitude was confusing because he would look at me like that and then I’ll caught him staring at me when I least expect it, but then he would turn away. I tried talking to him but I was hella nervous that one time 😂 and he didn’t even want to look me in the eye when I talked to him, he acted like he really dislikes me. But then I don’t get it why he looking at me.
Really weird behavior, that's for sure. Take a breath and go straight cold asking him the next time. Something like "confronting" him. If you were talking and he liked you but show that you don't show the interest he expected/wanted, then maybe ignoring you is a coping mechanism. You'll never know till you ask him! Do it and update me!
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