Why does a man sometimes stare at me like he is fascinated and sometimes shakes his head almost in disapproval?

[Anonymous]

He used to playfully tease me, flirt with me, he would eavesdrop or watch me talking to other men, watch me across the room. He started dating another girl but even so he would continue with these behaviours. One time in front of his girlfriend (I don’t think she saw) he turned around in an elevator and looked in my eyes and took my hand, started stroking it with his thumb and looked in my eyes. Last night we were at a book club and I said something which was in no way offensive or distasteful or anything but he looked down and started shaking his head side to side. What was he likely thinking? He would hardly look at me and then when I was talking to another man he stood by us and was glued to his phone like he was communicating with someone else. What does that mean? I have basically told him to keep his distance given that he has a girlfriend but why is he acting like he disapproves of me?

[Messianic_Monk]

To be perfectly honest, I really don't know. But I have my own theories. Either:

a) he really wants to be with you over his girlfriend, but feels for whatever reason you are not obtainable so he "settled" for his girlfriend (or is using her to make you jealous, to try and pursue him).

b) he doesn't actually want to be with you, but doesn't want you to be with anyone else. Basically, you're just there to stroke his ego. He gets some kind of boost in his ego with you being around, but he doesn't see you guys being together.

Either way, telling him to keep his distance is probably the best thing to do. If he's not willing to be straightforward about it then that is definitely a sign that this is not for you.