What is when a man does not take initiative with goals?

[sheepiemama]

For example he knows I’ve asked before for him to grease a piece of workout equipment, he knows a bedroom the lights went out and the bulbs needs to be changed, he said he’d clean the floor and he didn’t, he said he’d workout and he doesn’t, he doesn’t take initiative and plan Any dates , I go to events and vacations alone because I refuse to plan for him or buy him a ticket.

everything gets pushed onto the excuse that he does enough working on his business.

yes I live off of his money I made my work myself and my family and I’m quite busy without going and working for someone else for Pennies.

but I do start and think what would it be like to be with a man that really loved and cared deeply?

[Subglacial]

Your guy sounds a lot like me. I can't give much advice since it's something I'm still working on, but maybe I can give some insight?

He may very well love and care for you, but it might be hard for him to get moving on things that aren't part of his routine. Often, for me, it feels like something doesn't click and the gears won't engage, so I just stare at a problem, revving my engine and going absolutely nowhere. Sometimes, it feels like I'm fighting another, lazier version of myself for control of my body.

Meanwhile, things that are on a schedule like eating breakfast, showering, going to work, feel almost effortless. I even manage to get it of the house once every two weeks to give blood/platelets, and I hate needles.

I'm not trying to make excuses for your guy, but his problem might not be apathy. Has he tried therapy? Something like DBT or CBT?

[insalata]

Maybe he's fed up with your relationship and needs a break

[sheepiemama]

I left for 8 months and then I returned. Then he cries I abandoned him like a baby. Just feeling he is being resentful for being expected to pull his weight when it comes to his life and household in general