Im a bit confused with a guy’s behavior.
He knows I like him ( I told him I was interested in him ) but he never said he’s interested or not. Only thing he said is that it’s hard for him to love someone because of trust issues and many heartbreaks. how his life is messy right now, that’s why he’s been single for a long time. He later told me he thinks I’m brave for saying this.
this guy is flirty with everybody. But he was always extra flirty with me and showed me much more attention. He told me a few times he find me attractive and beautiful, touched me a lot, stared when I’m not looking , Said indirectly he’s single and tried to find if I was single too. And there was many non verbal, actions and words he did and said that showed attraction/ interest. That’s why it was so confusing.
After I admitted I liked him, He didn’t change. In contrary, he became more familiar, until I started seeing him less, because I was confused. But he became hot and cold with me ( he’s a BIG talker , and he would purposely avoid conversions with me only ).
what’s funny is that I always feel like he wants to tell me something when he’s quiet.
Also I recently, I lost my aunt. That day, i was at work, at 17:00 PM. I was emotional and he was there consoling me and cheering me up for about 15 minutes, instead of leaving work ( the guy lives far away from here ). He hugged me tenderly and asked me several times if I’ll be ok driving. I mean, other people didn’t even take the time to do this. He’s always been extra caring and nurturing with me. So im a bit confused with his behavior.
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lol Women are really bad at this approaching game, but I'm happy your gender is now embracing the promise of feminism and the "we're all equal" mantra.
Ok look, Just because you said you like someone doesn't mean they're entitled to drop their life and do things according to how you'd like😄. That's ego on your part. A sense of female entitlement that us men just don't have lol
Firstly if I told a girl I liked her, it was because I knew I was going to make her my woman. She wouldn't really have a choice (because the choice has already been made by way of my devotion to her development). Secondly, I'd only say it if I was 100% certain that she wanted me and I have embedded myself into her life and psyche. In other words, me saying it is just a formality that we both already know... To the point that it's really pointless to say it.
It seems you've done non of the ground work. You Simply said you like him and you're expecting him to do the rest lol that's not how pursuing works lol you're cute, God bless you.
Kind regards,
DoctorSex
Umm … so you think I should ask him out?
I thought about that but … he didn’t say he was interested in me ( and been interested doesn’t mean I love you , it means I want to know you and I like you ).
I’d thought from there he would understand that he has the green light to ask me out or say at least he’s also interested. But instead, he didn’t say that. He just said he finds me attractive and how courageous I am that I said that.
I’m not sure if it was a nice way to tell me « I’m not interested in you or have a date with you »
*** i want to get to know you
And I forget to mention, when I told him I was interested, there was a silence. And he said that he finds me attractive. And later added he thinks I’m courageous for saying that. I asked him why he was flirty with me and he replied he’s like this with everyone.
After that day, he became more familiar ( more touchy feely, nicer, courteous, caring, etc ). And then hot and cold.
It’s confusing.
Lol you're really cute and I mean that sincerely.
This is going to sound somewhat full of myself but I promise you there's no ego to it. I'm straight talker.
Every woman I've ever been with has told me they've loved me. Every. single. one.
Here's why? Whenever I meet a person, I study them deeply... It's my reflex action xD
The reason for my studying, is that I'm looking to figure out what this person the needs. Not what they want but what they NEED, mind body and spirit..
I'm a person that naturally thinks in terms of healing people, so most of my past girls would come around my house and I'd cook for them. (Cooking is always the foundation of my healing process). I'd massage her if she seemed cranky and sour, I'd tell them stories if she seemed to have a lot on their mind. Whatever they were interested In, I'd buy them equipment, courses, whatever it took to help them become the best versions of themselves.
I never did it for anything in return, I only want for people to be the best versions of themselves. As a result, each of them at some point told me they loved me deeply and couldn't see themselves with anyone else..
I never once had to ask anyone out, they got rid of any other man around. My care, which is my love language, left them no choice but to fall for me.
What am I saying? Are you an asset to his life? Have you gone out of your way to be of service selflessly? If not, then that's where you should probably start if you genuinely want the best for someone and if you think that best is you.
Kind regards,
DoctorSex
Lol "he never said he's interested"
There you go again being a girl lol (sorry)
Do you think anyone would be getting married if men only approached women they were certain were interested?
In any case my earlier comment i think should be sufficient in making you successful in the dating market, it just takes a shift of psychology and a genuine care for people.
Finding love isn't difficult. It just takes genuine care and attention, the courage to go first, something many people refuse to do.
Thank you ! Wise words :)
Also DoctorSex, I honestly do appreciate the time you took to read and reply to my post.
I understand now that someone needs to be more then just attractive and/ or say they are interested for the other person to be interested.
He showed me so much care and appreciation, and I would love to the same or even more , but I don’t want him to feel uncomfortable. Because I don’t know if all this was just him been friendly.
I genuinely want to show more care, compassion and be selfless. But since he knows I like him, I’m not sure if me doing this, will set him off or he would think : « I should’ve been clearer with her that I’m not interested » or « don’t tell me she still likes me? ».