Why if a woman has bad experiences with men it’s said she’s picking wrong men but if a man has bad experiences with women it means ALL women are bad?

Question

CrazyGirl2 · Accepted Answer

I think it’s a of a lack of self awareness that fuels this resentment men feel. Men face a lot of issues w/ dating. A LOT of men can’t get a date and by default have sex. A recent survey showed 33% of men had not had sex in the past two years, w/ most of THEM being virgins!

So why self awareness? Well as a young fairly attractive co-ed who’s a 7, or 8 (at most), I get asked out several times a day! Im always polite, & thank them for the complement, but I graciously decline, b/c MOST of these guys are 3’s, or 4’s at best! Yes numbering appearance is wrong, but guys invented it, so…

Look, I believe there is someone out there for everyone, but if guys don’t know that an 8 is out of their league, then they need to learn it. No 8, or 9 is going to date a 4 unless he has a lot of money, and those women ARE gold diggers! So if you don’t want to date a gold digger, then learn self awareness, and date closer to your own looks level!

There are so many girls who would LOVE a boyfriend, but somehow porn, and ass-hat YouTubers have taught guys there’s a “system” and they can get the most beautiful women to date unattractive/overweight men. Sadly there really IS, it’s called “dating gold diggers”! If you’re gonna pursue gold diggers, don’t be surprised if you ONLY get dates WITH gold diggers! But please dont blame ALL women!

Guys… Please look in the mirror, and be realistic. Does THAT guy look like he belongs w/ an 8 or a 9? No? So maybe stop asking out 8’s and 9’s. Ask out girls who are closer to your looks-level. Ask out a great woman who happens to be a 4, she’s cuter than you, and you’ll have WAY more success!

When guys go that long without a date, they look for someone to blame, and that rarely ends w/ self reflection, so they blame us! We are the problem, WE make bad choices and WE date the wrong men… B/c to those guys, WE would be happy if we dated THEM! After all, that’s all they’ve learned, and that’s the issue! We don’t date them, so we are dating the wrong men!

Clairebear799 · Accepted Answer

This greatly depends on the person. People say all kinds of dumb shit and I pretty much ignore it. It’s not worth getting worked up over.

Many times if someone always picks bad people it’s a problem with them maybe not always. But many times

Lliam · Accepted Answer

This topic triggers me.

It's like a kid who is just learning to play baseball. Everyone sucks at first. But most stick with it, practice and improve. But there are others who can't throw, hit or catch at first and conclude that baseball is stupid in order to protect their egos.

Some guys do that with dating. Based on their very limited experience and lack of success, they give up. But to make themselves feel better, they denigrate all women. They can even go on line to commiserate with losers like themselves and quote "studies" that justify their beliefs. And, if someone agrees with them, they must be right, right? Heaven forbid that they seek self improvement and try to figure out what they are doing wrong.

The dating pool is better off without misanthropes like that. They will only cause misery. They are like narcissists who have no respect for others and only associate with people in order to use them. In the case of dating, these guys have no respect for women in general but want to have sex with them. It creates cognitive dissonance.

Such men blame their lack of success on superficial things like height, fitness and money instead of lack of character. And, because those guys are so superficial, they assume that everyone is. They are incapable of recognizing women who have character. So, they are going to go after superficial women. And if they meet a good woman, they will drive her away. Hence the self fulfilling prophesy.

MCheetah · Accepted Answer

"If a man has bad experiences with women it means ALL women are bad."

No one says this. And I'm not disagreeing with your logic, but the reason this would be the case is because women have all the power in the dating world and can choose who they want to be with, while men (who aren't in the elite top 1-5% in looks, height, and wealth) have no power in the dating world and have to do all the chasing and don't get to pick or choose anyone; most men can only date who they can get.

Not the same dynamic as women, at all. So this question implies men and women are on an equal playing field in dating, when they aren't at all. It'd be like a multi-millionaire complaining about "having a bad life," versus a poor man from a third-world, war-torn country, complaining about having a bad life. Men don't have the choices women do; not even close to it.

But I agree with the logic that if one has a pattern of dating bad partners, then it's likely more their fault than anything else. As for myself, I acknowledge that my inadequate height, looks, and sometimes "race", are the reason women don't desire me, so no, I don't blame them for me being single. It is my fault. I should've ended up less short and more physically desirable.

coachTanthony · Answer

Well she is picking wrong men. I don't pick wrong women because I vet them accordingly before I can get to a point where I am complaining that all women are terrible. Can a woman have some bad experiences sure but sooner or later those should be far and few between because we learn to PICK better. Sometimes we need to take responsibility for what we choose.

FilmGuy93 · Answer

Women spend lots of time calling all men trash, so let me not pretend that’s off the table for women lmao! But to answer your question; I think it’s about the perceived standards being applied. Men generally have an extremely low bar that most women still struggle to meet. Women generally have a higher desire of what it takes for them to feel excited by the man they’re dating.

In truth, most women’s expectations are pretty reasonable, in that the majority primary expectation is that the guy just isn’t going to be an unkempt, socially awkward possum and won’t be abusive or mean.

MrOracle · Answer

Of course that's not entirely true, and MOST people don't say that about the opposite sex, but here's what IS true:

It's been proven in a number of different ways - multiple different surveys, as well as dating app data from multiple apps, pulling from multiple countries over a number of years - that the vast majority of women only go after the top 10-15% of men (and I'm being generous with that - women in their 20s and early 30s tend to only go after the top 5%, while older women spread that out more), while men tend to pursue the top 60% of women. That's a very considerable difference.

Men are willing to date the majority of women, while women are only willing to date a small minority of men - and that minority is by far the most likely, among the whole of men, to cheat, to be narcissistic, and the most likely to be so focused on career success that he has little time for her. You can see why a woman's choice has a much larger impact on the success of her relationship than men's - women are far more picky and are more likely to pick based on surface-level factors and most likely to ignore things like morals and values.

As always, these are generalizations, which means that there are going to be some exceptions, but we see this all the time, and all of the data supports this being the majority experience.

Nik1hil · Answer

This is True.

Let me Explain why!..

Men are nature are Assets, and Women by nature are liabilities.

That's why men gather resources like Money, car , house, Good job! To attract women.

Women are attracted to such rich wealthy men, because they need to consume these resources!..

Men have a purpose to sacrifice their assets to women.

Women have the purpose to properly Consume these resources and build a family and nurture the Kids and the man!..

A man can buy house, women makes it home, a man can put food on table, women brings Kids to consume it, man can create a fancy marriage, women can create a beautiful family!..

Coming to your question!..

If a women experiences bad, then she isn't picking the man that can provide her with resources she needs both physical and emotional! That means she need to change her pick!..

If a man has bad experience, that means HE IS INCAPABLE of SACRIFICING! and he needs to change, otherwise from his perception it will look like "All women are bad." because part of being a women is consuming his resources!..

End of the Day we all Know if a relationship is Running then women is deciding by giving consent on Each stage, she has the Cookie Jar, she is in control, places she gets to say Yes or no.

Asking out?

First kiss?

First time sex?

Committed relationship?

Marriage proposal?

Having Kids?

Women have all the controls, and I am not complaining or blaming, that's the way Nature intended it, and that's how it should be!..

So naturally in dating dynamic capability to change bad experience will fall on the side who has control and can take action to change it!.. By saying Yes or No!.. 💯

loveslongnails · Answer

I think there's only a small percentage of men who say that ALL women are bad when they've had a bad experience. Most men, as the dating numbers will show, get back out and keep trying. It's the real losers who say shit like that, and women are far better off having them give up dating and just bitch from their pulpits.

On the other side of the coin, I've noticed there are an equally small number of women who say the same thing, but it takes a few more bad experiences to get there! LOL I think you might agree that some men and women have a knack for picking the wrong people for any number of reasons. But, it's also easy for others to say that when their friends or acquaintances fail to find suitable partners.

"It's complicated", you know what I mean?

caring__1 · Answer

People find it easier to blame others than look at their role in the situation. They'll also be critical of others to legitimize their view of themselves. Seeing reality for what it is rather than what we feel should be will generally give us better results, but people are generally too insecure to accept accountability for their choices. Learning from our experiences rather than placing blame will generally give us better results.

Lionman95 · Answer

No some guys can´t accept that they choose the wrong kind of women from time to time or they can´t accept that it´s behavior that lead to her becoming a woman he doesn´t want her to be.

Guys just like to choose quick conclusions because some guys have a wrong picture of themselves that make them look better than they are.

Blackmoonsns · Answer

If you're having bad experience whether you're a man or a woman the problem is you. If you grew up in a toxic household you most likely seeing your definition of love and family unity as a form of physical or mental abuse this carries over into our adult years. So if you're running into guys or women that have some kind of mentor emotional baggage you're most likely paralleling that childhood traumas. Or the flip side is you're an extremely healthy person that is health mentally conscious and this just attracts the worst type of people because they need someone to help them improve their lives and sucking all the joy and happiness out of someone who has their life together is one of the quickest ways to temporary get a high or a boost.

Surely · Answer

Have you ever heard the saying. When you point a finger at someone. You have three fingers pointing back at you!
i would think that maybe since the woman in some cases has the “poor choice’s” children in her life. It would make it more obvious. Where as the man, that was the poor choice, can walk away scott free.

TonyMetal___86 · Answer

Not all women are bad and not all men are bad, sometimes we pick the wrong person and sometimes the wrong person picks us...

We can never generalize our experiences on others cause each person is just different from the other and we all carry some good and some bad things...

Chazmatazz269 · Answer

Clearly you are focused on the wrong sources. Men experience the exact same hypocrisy. Maybe you knew that and you’re just trying to pick a fight.
In fact, if you examine popular rhetoric right now, there’s significantly more evidence pointing to men’s experience of this phenomenon. You can’t get through a day interacting with people and the world at large without hearing, seeing or reading about what complete monsters men are just for existing. “Toxic masculinity” is catching up to “lol” for most common phrase used in western culture. Ell oh ell!

RavVid · Answer

Yeah it is a bit of a double standard. In reality though, women are capable of saying, and do say, all men are assholes. So I don't think in practice that double standard exists. And there is a lot of messaging that all men are bad because... well... we are men.

LiamJHayden · Answer

No. People are individuals, some are great, some truly suck, and most, like me, are somewhere in between. A bad experience with one or ten should never be projected upon the next, innocent of those crimes, person.

hadiluxury · Answer

Most men consider themselves superior to women, and when there is a problem from their side, they don't want to admit that the other party is right because of their pride, and most of the men pretend that the problem is from the woman, and this is the wrong nature of men. I am a man myself and I know..

LogicBomber · Answer

Nahhhh

women generally blame men for everything and are not accountable for their choices and actions and men are generally held accountable for everything they do and the choices they make.

If a guy dates a woman who takes advantage of him financially, it’s his fault and he should have known better.

if a woman is swindled by a man, he is the creep who took advantage of a poor helpless woman.

Women will also say things like “All men….” Men don’t often say “All women…”

we will say women in general or the majority of women when it comes to things like using men for money, mo key branching, and traits that are generally in most women. But that’s not based on personal bad experiences, that is statistically backed standards.

but women having an abusive boyfriend and calling all men violent, or being sexually assaulted and claiming all men are rapists… is not accurate even slightly.

MotherEarth2020 · Answer

Double standards Men have more excuses to cover up their bullshit mistakes

exitseven · Answer

I never judged all women by the behavior of a few bad apples. I did date a couple of girls that did not treat me very nice. It did not make me think they were all bad,

Mangospacho · Answer

It’s true. Some people do give the guys a pass like he was duped and had no idea she was a crazy woman but the woman is always told to choose better. I’m usually the only one saying the guy should’ve chosen better while everyone else is talking about how sorry they feel for him.

Avicenna · Answer

Sounds to me like that’s frustration speaking. But if he were to meet you, he’d be cured of that thinking.

RealMarek · Answer

This really goes both ways. I picked the wrong woman when I was young. I paid for it. I own up to that.

humanearth · Answer

I don't have an answer, I'm upset that Saturday morning cartoons are now over. Now Maverick is on now on METV

Grond21 · Answer

Both of men and women make this mistake. I have seen men thinking all women are bad and women thinking all men are bad. It does not flow one way

DarkWinterNights · Answer

Because most men these days get passed by in life by women. It’s not uncommon to see 30 year old male virgins. I’m fact, according to a recent poll, almost 50% of men avoid women because they’re afraid of being thought of as creepy. With obvious exceptions, many women seem to have no problems dating. But can’t find love because their requirements are often superficial and few men actually meet them.

It’s pretty enlightening to look up interviews and polls by sex.

AdithyaR · Answer

Based on guys I've seen online, the answer is simple. They're hypocrites. They want to blame everyone else for their misery but won't take accountability for their faults

dolemite89 · Answer

it’s silly to throw a whole gender under the bus just cuz u have some bad interactions. i think women are a pain in the ass in general but they’re not all bad 😅

LazerBean · Answer

It's equally true for both genders. Anyone who says otherwise hasn't grown into their adult brain yet.

ArtemisSilver · Answer

If a man isn't having luck with any women ever then something is wrong with his approach or behavior.

Even a fat ugly broke dude can get female attention sometimes as long as he tries regularly and has decent social skills.

NathanDavis · Answer

when dumbass people say dumbass things... I just don't take their nonsense seriously

Hummertime · Answer

I have bad experience my wife is a cheapskate.

TheAfrikan · Answer

Since we know that men are men n should be the kings of the thrones.

PainusNdeeAnus · Answer

because if a woman meets a bad man SHE DIES!

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

Very interesting question. Most men believe or have this fairytale women must be this model citizen of sweet, loving and affectionate wify material and when they realize that isn't reality and they get hurt and become bitter and bash all women.

Secondly, it's a form to shift personal responsibility of them f*&#$ing up using bad judgment when selecting a ish woman to be with.

TopTier · Answer

Because more women are objectively bad. Only a few men are like the ones women complain about. Yet they choose them because theyre fit, handsome, witty or whatnot. Very few men hit women. Yet most women leverage sex in a relationship, gossip to their friends about their partner, and other spiteful things.

Nomina · Answer

Nope.  People say all those things for both men and women. I've seen plenty of people go the "all men are bad" route and plenty of people tell men to choose better women.  So...

Songomatic · Answer

No. Women make bad choices based on childhood. If the mother and father were narcissists or covert narcissists, later in life she might attract the same toxicity she is familiar with and it is usually subconscious. If not aware her family were toxic, normal good relationships might have affect or impact her life and potential dating candidates. Childhood shapes your choices and paths later in life.

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

I agree on this situation with you.

Wiredone · Answer

I don't judge people. Everyone is an individual. Just because you get one bad egg in the package doesn't mean you should throw the whole package away.

PizzaPieMamaBear · Answer

I don’t think that’s the case at all. In their 20s women pick the guy! Do a good job you’ll be happy for life. In the 30s tar evens out and shifts in the guys favor by 40 he’s picking her

OddBeMe · Answer

The man is an idiot. Anyone who has only bad experiences at anything is bad at whatever that experience is. Common logic.

andreasderjuengere · Answer

I heard it the first time in the 70's: ''All men are the same'' Vote A - Your sources of information are incomplete? Vote B - People babble? Vote C - copy-and-paste?

poneglyphs · Answer

I don't know, I rarely talk to women because most of them ghost me or reject me so... am I picking wrong women 🤔

SlavicThor · Answer

In my experience, toxic traits brought into my fresh new relaitonhsips have been baggage brought in from the woman. Women are just more emotional, men are more rational and thus are able to forget quicker, I believe that's why

BLP11520 · Answer

All women are not bad, people expect way too much from imperfect humans.

playerr · Answer

All men don't say like that, it may be their experience.

Massageman · Answer

Your second pic has a great truism!

Anonymous · Answer

But if we're honest, don't we think and say the same thing to men who have bad experiences with some women?

Guardian45 · Answer

I don't agree. I DON'T blame ALL women. I blame MYSELF, cuz I'm neurodivergent and have difficulty processing emotions in a timely manner.

KrakenAttackin · Answer

Because women do the choosing except for a tiny percentage of Chad's.

Alex8736 · Answer

can't let a few bad apples spoil the bunch 😇

Oddi_211 · Answer

Girls have one bad experience and call every guy on the planet an asshole🥴

Twalli · Answer

Plenty of women say ALL guys are a certain way after several bad experiences

connemara_crocodile · Answer

I never heard that in my life

jimmy2 · Answer

Well heck it's all good

Matmazeldiana · Answer

Kin duygusu

Why if a woman has bad experiences with men it’s said she’s picking wrong men but if a man has bad experiences with women it means ALL women are bad?

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Why if a woman has bad experiences with men it’s said she’s picking wrong men but if a man has bad experiences with women it means ALL women are bad?

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