My first relationship was in 2016 it ended 2 years later because the guy was abusive and he cheated after that relationship i spent 4 years having my time wasted by guys that lied to me saying they wanted something serious when but they were actually using me for sex. this year i got into a relationship with a guy i have known for 2 years we moved in together he claimed to love me and told me he wanted to start a family. eventually i got pregnant and he forced me to get a abortion, he left me for his ex and cheated. i was loyal to the guy i did everything he asked me to do i cooked and cleaned for him and did a lot of other things when i asked him why he decided to do the things he did he told me i was perfect but he wasn't ready for a relationship why do every guy i run into play games with me?
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It looks like you never selected guys but just got any guy who passed by and didn't take really any caution against early signals of toxicity. Firstly, you got a guy who was abusive and you let him abuse you for 4 years, then you agreed for sex with no relationship in between (even though you didn't want sex but a relationship; and no, "convincing" them for a relationship through sex generally doesn't work), then you "eventually got pregnant" ... eventually? You don't get randomly pregnant in 2022, you know how contraceptive works, you decided it was a good idea to give a baby an amazing childhood with a father who never given consent to be a father and neither wants the mother on his side in the long term. This is what you decided and that shows 0 minimum responsibility both sides.
You get the partners and the problems you select.
If you want to be a mother and give the baby a normal childood you must first get a stable and working relationship, that proves to work on the long term, possibly living together for some years and getting married before deciding to get pregnant.
Now that you ended up with a lot of liars you should be able to see from the beginning a number of red flags. I don't know which mistakes you made to allow them destroying your expectations, but common ones women do, are:
- hoping the guy will change;
- hoping his flaws won't come back anymore and that what happened was just an one-time thing;
- forgiving them everything because you miss them so they learn they can continue like that because you proven you aren't going anywhere and with 0 consequence;
- believing that through good sex they will automatically want to commit to you;
- believing that servicing them through doing whatever they want will make them respect you;
- believing their responsibility sense will automatically develop randomly all of a sudden if there is a pregnancy;
- believing they will be different with you than with their exes if you "do better".
These are all things that are just continuously proven wrong, over and over all around us. Women keep self-trapping themselves like this.
Select partners carefully. Get to know if they cheated on their exes, because that marks their moral level and they will do the same with you. Do not tolerate any form of lie, shadowy and sketchy things, not even if they do it with someone else because that shows their moral level and they will apply it to you too. Demand responsibility and respect, consistency, and be intolerant when these things are missing, non-negotiable. Never respond by giving more when receiving less (that's only a way to dig your own quicksand puddle and to lower your cost and value).
I don't know you, I don't know your personality. All I can tell you is Don't bend your standards to allow someone into your life. From day one if you don't like the way somebody is acting, tell them. If they don't like it then in the relationship. I don't know if you're so needy that you put up with guys bullshit. That's fairly common. Be yourself, be honest, speak your mind and you'll find the right person for you