Why did my male friend antagonize my ex?

[NotTacocaT6969]

I guess I’ll start by saying that my ex was very controlling, possessive and a bit of a sissy with no balls at all to stand up for himself or me.

One of my male friends would always make it a point to sit next to me or give me a hug hello, just stupid little innocent things friends typically do.

My ex tried to tell me I wasn’t allowed to hang out with that friend anymore. I responded by texting my friend that my ex didn’t want me to be his friend anymore.

After that, my friend basically rubbed our friendship in my ex’s face.

The best was the night we all had a bonfire together. My friend sat next to me at the table and we started talking.

Immediately, my ex grabbed me violently by the arm and dragged me to the seats near the fire which were only sets of 2 seats.

My friend arrived shortly after with a chair in his hands, sat it next to me and continued our conversation. (That was the night I noticed there was something going on between those two.)

I guess my question boils down to: Was my friend just trying to show me what a douche my ex was or was he trying to get me to date him instead?

[spartan55]

Lol... you think that was about wanting to date you? You have quite the ego on you. I will bet anything your friend was trying to show you that your ex was a fuckhead. I will also guess he had to tell you about 500 times before you actually dumped him.

[NotTacocaT6969]

He never spoke a single ill-word about my ex. Not to me or any of our other friends.

Not even after I broke up with him.

Closest thing he ever did was tell me that if you have to tell a man something more than once, he doesn’t care what you have to say.

[NotTacocaT6969]

And to clarify, I don’t think he wants to get with me.

But after things other people have said, I honestly wonder.

[spartan55]

Huh, interesting... wonder he never said or suggested anything to you? Regardless, your friend sounds like he has some some solid character, and cares about you quite a bit. Is there anything else that he has done to suggest he wants to be more than friends?

[NotTacocaT6969]

He’s one of the most amazing people I know, but the man gives off more mixed signals than a broken radio. 🤦‍♀️

[spartan55]

Could you please elaborate? You can DM if you don't want it all to be public.

[NotTacocaT6969]

Public is fine.

He’s had a very affectionate and flirty personality and it’s honestly difficult to tell.

Extended eye-contact, longer than usual hugs and on more than one occasion we stood outside talking to eachother until the sun came up.

But nothing else to go on.

It’s hard to tell if it’s just his personality or if he’s bad at hiding his feelings.

[spartan55]

Bad at hiding his feelings? I don't follow.

[spartan55]

Don't you mean good at hiding his feelings?

[NotTacocaT6969]

If he was good at hiding them, I don’t think he’d act that flirty…. but I could be wrong.

[spartan55]

You've got me totally confused now. Why don't you just talk to him about it?

[spartan55]

Thanks for the MHO!

[NathanDavis]

if he is your friend... how come you never asked him? or never talked about this?

[NotTacocaT6969]

To put it simply, when I try to run through a mental simulation of how that would go, my brain goes “😱”.

Not sure what I’m afraid will happen…

[NathanDavis]

well, what we're all doing here is more of the same

we're all just going to assume and guess many different scenarios

but the only truth... belongs to your friend

so, just ask him... he is your friend, should be alright

[Anonymous]

Your ex is insecure and felt threatened by your friendship with a man. Asking you to end the friendship should have been the end of your relationship. Isolating a significant other from friends and family is a major red flag.

Your friend antagonized your ex to piss him off primarily. But the ultimate intent was to show you his true nature. Your friend knew you'd break-up if you saw the real him.

I don't think he wants to date you, but he does want to protect you from men who aren't good enough. That's invaluable.

[Billlewis]

I'd say it was probably a little bit of both. Either way, its sexy as hell.

[Anonymous]

Im surprised your ex didn't slash your friend's throat with a knife

[NotTacocaT6969]

My ex was a little bitch, as I said.

To put it in perspective, ex weighed about 100lbs, shaved his legs and couldn’t grow facial hair.

Another man could’ve slapped my ass in front of him and all he’d do about it is glare at them and then bitch about it in secret.

He was not boyfriend material.

[Debbie14217]

he likes them