Senior guy likes me but is mad bc he just found out I'm a freshman. How do I get my senior crush to accept my grade level?

[betoxic4me]

I don't usually pull in my school and when I did, it happened to be a senior. This whole time he thought I was a 10th grader when I am a freshman. We called, talked, every time he'd see me in school, he'd be shy and smile turning away. He would attempt to come over to my table but showed signs of anxiety. He stated many times that he wanted me, liked me, and wanted to even marry me. We opened about depression and things in the past that happened. He comforted me. We never were official but he expressed his crush towards me and I don't mind the age gap. He finds out I'm a freshman due to a friend accidently ratting me out. I never lied, he just never asked. I tried smiling at him in the hallway today and he looked pissed. :( I always came to believe he was just shy since he wouldn't text me or even come up to me. I got attached and now he's pissed. :(

[PrettyPriya]

Unfortunately, you are just going to have to accept that he does not want to date someone that much younger than him. Put yourself in his shoes. He will be graduating and moving on while you still have a lot of time left (presumably). I am not from the US so not entirely familiar with your school system levels. @Agape93

Now, I know this isn't what you want to hear or do, but everyone has the right to be with someone they think is a good fit for them. He obviously sees the age difference as not a good fit and something that he doesn't want to pursue.

There is nothing you can really do in this case if he has made up his mind. I get you have a crush on him and those are hard to get over. I can assure you that there are other boys out there.

If it were me, I would focus on school, friends and family. There is always time for boys later. Trust me on this. Sorry I cannot help more, but I don't think there is a solution to this.

[betoxic4me]

Understandable, but ya never know. We really got each other 🤷‍♀️

[PrettyPriya]

There is always a chance that he may change his mind. You can never say never. It just sounds like he is against the notion of dating someone that much younger. I did notice in another reply that you are not that far apart in age.

I do not know the laws in your country, but could that be the reason he is not wanting a relationship?

[betoxic4me]

A 3 yr gap isn't as bad but some people prefer to add oil to the fire. I've talked to him and I thought he knew. I asked him what now bc ofc I respect the decision he will make. But he did want me first so, I don't know. Tysm.

[PrettyPriya]

You are welcome. Maybe let things cool a bit and see what happens when calmer heads are thinking.

[betoxic4me]

Ofc ofc, I appreciate the feedback ♥

[doodledee]

I hope you can try to keep in contact still and show him you're not immature or "too young". Even if it takes time 😊

My boyfriend of 2 years is 3 years older and it's not a big deal at all once you're together and everyone gets past first reaction, if there is one.

[betoxic4me]

Yeah, cuz after all we did really understand each other. Like about depression and self harm. Thank youuu

[SnowedIn]

You said "how". The answer is two fold: first, time, and, second, while you give it time, continue to be the same you that he was attracted to in the first place. Don't block him, don't be clingy, don't be love bombing, etc. Just be the you that he likes. And, if he talks to you about it, don't make any excuses. Just say, "I'm sorry I didn't tell you".

It's possible he won't get past this and if he doesn't, that's a sign of his lack of maturity and that helps you realize that, in that case, he might not have been the best choice.

[betoxic4me]

I did apologize and I asked him whats the next step. Wish me luck 🙏

[SnowedIn]

Good for you! Nice approach. Now, just be you. This SUCKS... I literally understand (though it was a long time ago). Fill your life with good stuff that makes you happy (and is healthy) in the meantime to keep your mind off him.

[spartan55]

You should have told him yourself, because it was going to come out anyway. If it would have come from you he may have felt different, maybe not. The ol 'he never asked' defense won't work here (it really never does). Anyway, good luck.

[betoxic4me]

Yeah I admitted to it cuz i thought he knew kn a way, we are talking about it 😁

[Guy13]

That’s going to be hard because for some guys that’s a hard snd fast rule. Some will not budge. I sm thst way with ages too. 🤷🏻‍♂️

[betoxic4me]

We are talking about it currently

[Slay256]

Lol this is a whole fail. He shoulda asked your age since the beginning. I feel bad but like cmon y’all should know what grades y’all are in.

[Agape93]

How old is he and are you actually 16?

[betoxic4me]

He's 17 and I'm about to be 16

[Agape93]

In some areas, once he reaches adulthood at 18, he won't be covered by a Romeo and Juliet claus, meaning he could be jailed as a sex offender. But bottom line, there's not much you can do. He likely had a certain vision of you as a person, and finding out you aren't that likely turned him off. So it's best to move on

[betoxic4me]

True

[riverrat3]

Keep being friendly, talk to him, it can work