Is he attracted to me or am I misreading his actions?

[Anonymous]

Ok I'll try and keep this short and to the point. First off I've been single a really long time and I tend to be oblivious to when a guy seems to like me in any way. So I'm more asking this to see if I'm correct that he does like me in some way or if I'm just wrong... lol

So we work together (not the best situation, I know) but anytime he passes by my desk he looks at me. On his way in or out for the day? He looks at me. On his way to break? Looks at me. He stands close to me when we talk (or as close as he can since I'm at my desk) or watches me when I walk past or around him. He made up a random reason for me to go with him to check on something once and he walked almost right next to me the whole way there. And then we were having a group conversation and he moved from the one side of our little circle to the side I was on and stood next to me. Not like RIGHT beside me, but we easily could've took like two steps and been right next to each other. There are other things too but I don't wanna fill this whole thing. So am I misreading or am I possibly correct that he's attracted to me in some way?

[Guy13]

He is attracted to you but obviously is indecisive and annoying because of it. This is tip of the iceberg so if this hand-ringing indecisive chicken behavior annoys you then stay away. You will see this personality in all things. Unless, you like ruling the house and making all the decisions.

[Asker]

He's not annoying me because of it. Like I said he and I both work together so I can completely understand him not being eager to make a move if he's attracted to me as it could get messy if things don't work out for whatever reason.

[RavVid]

I would think he is attracted to you. The only exception I can is if in some he considers you as a work ally but even then I don't think he would looking at you as much as he does. Is he unpartnered?

[Asker]

As far a i know he's not. He has kids that he talks about with almost everyone, but he never mentions an DO. I know it's very little, but he is also higher than me in the company we both work at. I don't report to him directly, but if he asked me to do something I would be expected to do it. And I mentioned it in my reply to the other user that when he and I have our morning meetings he always takes a chair beside me unless he can't.

[RavVid]

It is problematic to have workplace romances so he might be conflicted by that and his attraction to you and not knowing what your reaction might be.

Critical question for you is would you like this to go any further? He has kids so that might be a No

[Asker]

I honestly don't mind that he has kids! He speaks highly of them and what they accomplish in school and what some of their goals are when they're older. I'm honestly not really sure if I can have kids of my own... I've been pregnant twice in the past and lost both. That's one of the reasons I've stayed single so long.

I also think workplace relationships can work, but both people need to be able to keep things separate for obvious reasons. Those personal feelings need to be left at the door. They're not what's signing my paycheck so I can pay bills and buy food.

[RavVid]

Yes they can work. I have been reading though, that in particular, men are now wary of one to one meetings with female colleagues.

I wish you well and hope things work out for you.

[Anonymous]

He sounds like a typical flaky man. Move on.

[Asker]

I'll be honest this sounds negatively charged and I'm not here for that... but thanks!

[spartan55]

You need a little than him looking at you. It isn't middle school. Talk, to him if you are interested.

[spartan55]

*little more

[Dutch1987]

Could be, but he is not very clear about it. He looks, but how does he look at you?

[Asker]

Like his focus is on me until he turns his head or starts to walk a student direction. He always holds eye contact when talking, and rarely looks away during our conversations unless someone is approaching us or he's being called out to.

[Asker]

I guess I can't edit that response... "student direction" is supposed to be "different direction". 🤦‍♀️

[Dutch1987]

Still can't say for sure. I also hold eye contact with people I converse with, but that doesn't mean I am attracted to them.

[Asker]

I understand. I think about my work situation with him a lot, and considering our positions where we are if anything were to happen it could be a mess.

He used to just come up to me and talk randomly when I first started in my position where we work. He also smiles and laughs a lot and we're both fairly interactive when talking to each other. He's shared some stuff about his family with me and some former work experiences, too. But he does tend to stay kinda close to me when we're around each other. He even sits in the chair next to mine during meetings unless someone else takes it before he comes in which is rare.

[Asker]

I should add that our meetings are held at a large table with plenty of available seats to pick from when we enter the room.

[Iron_Man]

First of all, you need to find out if he's single some guys like to look just to look

[Asker]

I understand that and as far as I know there's no commitment. I know he has kids, but he has never mentioned an SO to myself or anyone else we work with.

[In_Trance]

Misreading