So there’s this guy I like, we used to date back in school and I know he was so into me but we ended up drifting as you do when you grow up.
fast forward 10 years…I have him on Instagram, have done for years, we never interact on there. Anyway, a few weeks back I sent him a friend request on Facebook to get his ‘attention’ it’s obviously worked as he started to like all of my Instagram stories from then onwards which he has never done before. I decide to send him a message as after a week of consistently liking my stories I figured he was trying to show me his interested but he was too shy to make the first move of sending a message and wasn’t sure if I felt the same.
So I send him a message asking how he is and we start catching up, he seemed genuinely interested as he was asking me questions back etc…
However, the following day he left me on ‘seen’ and didn’t reply for literally 10+ hours, I figured he was busy, sure enough he messaged me late at night apologising saying he has been working but the thing is he was online multiple times that day and he read my message hours and hours ago so I thought that was weird.
I carry on chatting to him and his keeping the convo going and so am, but his replies get further and further apart and he keeps leaving me on ‘seen’ for a few a hours every time yet keeps coming online.
I attempted at one point to try and turn the convo flirty but he either didn’t pick up on it or just wasn’t interested… so I decided to give up, clearly his consistent likes on my stories didn’t mean anything and he ain’t interested right?
I send a blunt-ish message to his last message and sort of shut down the conversation as I felt like I was nuisance and he was just being polite by keep replying to me. So guys… was I right to do this? I feel surely if a guy was interested he would reply to you pretty quickly and Jump at any opportunity to send something flirty?
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I dont think it was wise to send a blunt message and shut things down. Clearly things came back around, so why push anything more than that at this moment? If he's interested, he will let you know. If he's distracted, it shouldn't hold your life up. It seems like you've cut off your nose to spite your face by shutting down any further conversation, as he may be going through some things of his own and doesn't wish to burden you with any of it. Not all men are always interested in sending or receiving spicy messages all hours of the day or night. It could also be that he doesn't feel comfortable yet doing anything extremely spicy. If that's what you're seeking, then perhaps it's best to avoid further contact with him and instead seek the spicy conversations elsewhere.
I mean it was only blunt in the sense that I replied to his message but didn’t ask any follow up questions… so there wasn’t really much that he could respond with, BUT if he was genuinely interested surely tbh a wouldn’t matter and he would find something else to say or strike up a convo about, but he hasn’t. He read my response, and as I suspected he hasn’t replied and his been online most of the day.
The adage of "look not through a keyhole, lest ye be vexed" applies even today, in our online culture. Allowing yourself to monitor his online activity, even something as trivial as online status, has given you an inflated sense of priority and concern over all possible reasons why he hasn't responded instantly. While it's none of my business, I would think it wise to ask yourself how many times you've left other people on 'read' and your reasons for doing so; I'd venture to guess that there's a multitude of reasons. Perhaps you didn't have time to answer, didn't care enough to answer, replied to someone else and forgot.. but I doubt that you ever intentionally left someone on 'read' just to watch them squirm. Occam's Razor applied to this, your final message was just low priority to him when he received it. Returning to the beginning of my reply, the adage applied here means allowing yourself to monitor him to make sure he's online has inflated your sense of urgency, and by proxy a negative intent from him, when the best thing you can do in this situation is to simply post and ghost. Send the reply, and then let him stew. Further, get some time away from the phone; supposing he truly is doing this out of willful intent, he too will see that you've been online waiting and it very well may give him a sense of power. Putting the phone down and going 'offline' shows him that you're not playing the game by his rules. And if he truly is that petty and manipulative, them it's best to move on regardless.
I don’t think you know enough to know if he’s interested or not. I hate being left on read and try my absolute best not to do that to anyone else. But it happens. People might see your message, think about what to say, then get busy. Like it happens.
It sounds like you’re looking for someone who isn’t like that tho.
I know personally tho, if I was interested in a girl, I’d make it a priority to talk to her a lot and spend time with her. Now of course that has to be worked around my schedule and work and all of that. But the intention and effort is what matters.
Can’t expect him to instant reply all the time. But also fair to expect him to not leave you on read constantly. There is a middle ground there.
Yeah
Wow so helpful