If he likes me, why does he avoid initiating all conversations with me?

[Anonymous]

He's a grown man! He showed all signs of having a crush but he never initiates conversation with me. Just about never. He will sometimes say hi, but nothing substantial, he expects me to continue the conversation from then on. Then, he will also talk to the people next to me but not me. It's like he hopes I will join that conversation but gets really dejected when I don't participate. What kind of game is this? What is he thinking? When I need to ask him something, he's suddenly all available and happy to help.

[Anonymous]

If this is a coworker then he may not feel comfortable taking that step to progress things with you. Even if your workplace allows interoffice romance, what may come with it isn’t made for everyone. On top of this, who knows what he’s got going on in his personal life. Keep in mind that timing is everything, and just because one person feels like they’re in a place to prioritize a relationship doesn’t meant the other party is.

[Asker]

Very accurate on all ends. I think he's having an internal crisis in his personal life for reasons I won't go into here. He is a coworker and there are no rules as such though I am sure it is gossip fodder. The thing is that I am a total romantic and the pull is strong.

[Opinion Owner]

I hear you, once there’s even a crush established it’s hard to just let that go, especially since you see him all the time. I think in this situation, unless you make the first move then he won’t. If you’re accurate about your suspicions and he has feelings for you, then something is holding him back from acting on it, so I wouldn’t expect him to initiate. I don't know how comfortable you’d be with putting yourself out there like that, but if you’re disinterested in acting first then with neither of you doing it, it’s best to move on from him. But if you do decide to act on your feelings then of course I wish you the best outcome.

[Fanfare690]

Did you show him it was okay to approach you? A smile perhaps?

[Asker]

Yes, I am guilty of RBF, so I try sometimes, when appropriate, to smile at him. I will ask him questions too sometimes. One time he went bright red and completely tongue tied. I can tell he likes me a lot.

[Guy13]

That is probably not a true like. It sounds like there is another priority and you may be one of many secondary options.

[Asker]

Maybe he's in a relationship and I am just someone to flirt with, in that case, I don't want to make any effort. Him expecting it makes him an egomaniac in my view.