Why would a man give you mixed messages?

[Anonymous]

If he chased you for a year online and in person and says stuff like ‘We should do that sometime;’ and ‘Are you looking forward to Friday night;’ tells you that all the signs he previously gave you were signs of interest and then refers to himself as your friend, which he isn’t, says he’s already dating someone and he was joking, what does this mean? Is he trying to be my friend, messing with me or interested and scared to admit it?

[Cynicaldreamer]

It means he's playing games with you and stringing you along. If he was genuinely interested in you and wanted a relationship? He would make an effort and seriously pursue you. The fact he keeps going back and forth, and he's referring to you as a "friend," and won't tell you his exact relationship status? That's a red flag, at least in my opinion.

I'd back away from him. You can talk to him if you want, but until he's more proactive and let's you know how serious he is about you, and his relationship status? Stop putting too much time and effort into him.

[IAmPessoa]

Maybe unsure

[Mayo503]

Don’t know ask him why in person

[Asker]

I can’t. We don’t socialise in person. What’s your guess? I can’t read social situations (Aspie).

[Mayo503]

Well think you answered your own question he’s dating someone….
And he thinks of you like a friend he likes your company…
So leave him alone and when he contacts you just be a friend with him
Hope that helps

[Asker]

It helps a lot. Thank you 😊

[Mayo503]

No worries hope it works for you tho

[Asker]

Well, I don’t want to do anything about it. I just got confused by his behaviour and it bothered me not knowing why.

[Mayo503]

Just leave it walk away

[Asker]

He won’t let me. Everywhere I’ve gone and tried to avoid him, he’s found me and keeps wanting to talk and send me messages. He shows up where I am sometimes and I had to close Facebook because I got so many messages. Then he found me on dating sites and now on here.

[Asker]

Why is that? It’s very confusing.

[Mayo503]

Sounds like he’s stalking you….
Are you famous?

[Asker]

No. I’m just an ordinary person.

[Mayo503]

You need to tell him to stop ✋
In person and really let him know how you feel and don’t give mixed signals

[Asker]

I did online and he didn’t take it seriously. Now I’m just polite like I am with everyone else.

[Asker]

I told him last year I was in love with him which I was when we were friends, but that it wouldn’t work out. Then it started and hasn’t stopped.

[Mayo503]

Sorry to hear that has he got a girlfriend now?

[Asker]

I don’t know. It wouldn’t bother me if he did. But it sounds like it. If so, then why not be with her and stop trying to know me?

[Mayo503]

You need to tell her and see if she can sort it out for you

[Asker]

I don’t know her. He’s very private on Facebook and with what others know about him.

[Asker]

Seems to me like he doesn’t want me but doesn’t want other men to have me.

[Mayo503]

Not sure then….
You know where he lives wait until his missus turn up and ask her then

[Asker]

Nope. I’ve been there once with friends. I don’t know where he lives.

[Mayo503]

But he can’t do that ….
All you can do is your own thing and if he carry on go to the police

[Asker]

The police said there’s not enough evidence to get a restraining order. So did the lawyers. There was enough to be believed but not enough to go through the courts.

[Mayo503]

Wow… not sure then… sorry feel for you

[Asker]

Well, thanks 😊. I think I’ll just have to go on being polite but not take things any further. I’ve started to accept that he’ll probably never stop, like he said.