I've gone on so many first or second dates with guys who seem to like to try and sabotage their chances by creeping me out the way they keep suggesting we go somewhere in their car after we finish the first activity we do. Don't guys know it makes them look suspiciously dangerous when they keep persisting that instead of finding somewhere else to go in the area we're currently in, we go in his car somewhere else? Honestly, the first time I say let's just stay in the area, they should drop their car idea instantly. But for some reason, they don't, and keep coming up with reasons why going in their car is the better idea.
Most Helpful Opinions
It's difficult to say why some guys may insist on going places in their cars on first or second dates, as everyone's motivations and behaviors are unique. However, it's important to prioritize your own safety and boundaries in any dating situation, and to communicate your feelings and preferences in a clear and direct way.
If you're uncomfortable with the idea of going in someone's car on a first or second date, it's important to communicate this to your date in a firm and direct way. Let them know that you prefer to stay in the area or find another location to continue the date, and that you're not comfortable going in their car.
It's possible that some guys may persist in suggesting going in their car because they are trying to impress or control you, or because they have ulterior motives. However, it's important to trust your instincts and to prioritize your own safety and well-being in any dating situation.
Remember, it's okay to set boundaries and to communicate your preferences and needs in a relationship. If your date is not respecting your boundaries or making you feel uncomfortable, it may be necessary to end the date or to seek support from a trusted friend or family member.10
What Girls & Guys Said
it's pretty obvious what a guy would like when he takes you in his car and he parks somewhere secluded... often they hint right away on the 1st date... they make out feel your thighs then ask you to do something for them it's not really a surprise anymore.11
I thought the same thing long ago, but to protect my own interests. Even if we suggest another location, I typically say, why don't I meet you over there in 10 minutes and we take separate vehicles. After all. I really don't know the girl and wouldn't want to be alone in the same vehicle, she could say I did something? It could put me in a risky situation.0
I never did that. Our first date was usually dinner at a restaurant, and we met there (each driving ourselves) and if the date went well, we'd usually go someplace else afterwards... a movie, a club, a bar. I usually offered to drive but I didn't insist on it, and most of the time, we each drove our own cars... wherever we went. By the third date (if we got that far), then we started taking one car... sometimes I drove, sometimes she drove.0
Where i live everything is spread out so you really cannot go anywhere without a car so I find it a little hard to understand why this bothers you. Do you think the guy will "run out of gas" and try to take advantage of you? I would never do something like that and I really dont know anyone who ever did something like that.0
Because girls secretly love being kidnapped and driven to remote areas in the middle of the night. It's sooo romantic. LOL Just kidding.10
People used to always go out in the same car. The guy would pick up the girl and take her out and bring her back. I realize some people don't do this anymore, but you make it sound like it's a foreign concept to go to another activity together on a date.0
Yes car drives would be the wrong thing to do, first would be starbucks, coffee or a smoothie or other drink, then if we feel the vibe, dinner, then if still a vibe a drink back at her place.. and things really happy on her bed face down ass up...0
I guess these men aren't thinking about how you would take it and just "let's go to this place that I like", hoping you'd do the same. It is understandable as you just started dating and they already want to be in an enclosed place alone with you.0
I grew up in a rural area. Wherever you went, it was in your car. I picked up my dates and we drove (45 minutes or more) someplace to get dinner). So, I’ve never thought of this as being creepy.0
Going in a car seems totally traditional to me. It would not even occur to me to do it any other way. How else would you do it? Meet them someplace? That seems really cheesy.0
It is not my place, however, the trauma you suffered needs to me addressed. You are not ready to date. And, you are neither Gabriel or Michael0
Hmm. Maybe they're just proud of their car and they want to show it off. I can definitely see that as a legitimate possibility.
On the other hand, yes, it is creepy because you don't really know them well enough yet.0
What places are they suggesting? If its a place where there's no people around thats pretty sus, if there's lots of people there then I wouldn’t say he's up to anything suspicious.
if its pretty far thats a bit sussy too to me0
"Going places in their cars"
Cars are pretty small. Where are they going exactly? The back seat?0
I've always used my car. Never used a cab (since none available in my small town) or limo since its ridiculously expensive.
No girl was ever uncomfortable or suggested to use her car.0
Jeez, lighten up. he's just giving you the opportunity to give him a BJ.10
Because typical women don't want to go in my rocket ship.10
no idea... maybe guys are watching player videos? they are proud of their cars?0
Guys should go by the girl's decision when they plan to meet on a first date.0
I can definitely understand that seeming suspicious. I’m not sure if I’d personally ever do it as having the whole thing planned out in advance would typically be preferable to me.0
Most Helpful Opinions
Usually (not always) - they may want to make the date feel special - or take it a little further if you're both feeling eaxh other after a coffee, or walk on the first date - and also hence the point of dating - looking to explore some adventures with you - if you're just looking for a friend and don't want to kiss your date - I recommend not to accept an invitation for a coffee/meal/activity with them in the first place unless your in a group.
And if you're not feeling it after the first date - guys aren't sensitive/emotional - rip the bandaid off quick - over text is best despite what people say - don't do it in person - if you're not feeling them let them know right out of the gate or dont meet with them at all. Otherwise you're just wasting both peoples times - and they will just go out with a different girl next weekend instead and you can be on your way.
For cars - most girls always tell men to like guys with cars more than guys who can't afford cars - and will generally go a lot further with guys who have cars (it shows access to income which is a quality trait to aquire as a male to up your value you bring to the table - nothing wrong with this but is hard to do quickly).
They want to make it like a 50's drive in type feel of date, and make out with the girl after courting them for several weeks over text, and after going out on a date or two - which is perfectly reasonable to expect that both partners want to do unless you've stated otherwise.
And if you aren't looking to make out with them or move to something deeper or more serious gradually with them - don't go out to dinner with them if you know you just see them as a friend. Or if after dinner you change your mind - which is perfectly fine to do after meeting in person if it may be different feeling - split the bill 50/50 then part ways and tell them your just looking to friendship with them.
Otherwise they'll assume your looking for something more if you are actively wanting to go on dates with them and have them drop money on you once or twice - men don't do that for people who they just see as friends - and friends don't let their friend foot the bill - dates do.
The reason for car - is also to drive up somewhere with nature around (similar feel to relaxed camping) and relax and cuddle together under the stars for a bit. Maybe have some privacy you may both want together if you both are wanting to make out or fuck after the date. Or anywhere in between - creates a much more intimate setting to do so that can be a fond memory for both of you if you chose - certainly. beats finding a bar bathroom, or behind a building in an liter filled ally way to do the same thing. Small towns I find are way better for date night foe this reason as its easy to dip between downtown for fun and nature/less dense areas to relax together or walk together theough a quite nature filled suburb with a little more privacy to enjoy.