Is he really flirting with me?

[Anonymous]

Hi guys, I need ur help.

I know a guy from the college and I thought from time to time that he might likes me, my eyes met almost every time with his etc. he barley chatted with me. One time, we were sitting next to each other, he put his elbow on the back of my chair and was at the moment very close. I asked a friend, if he did that with her before, she denied it. When I walk into or out the same room, he faces me with his body.

But all of the sudden, he starts jokingly flirting with me, jokes about us being in a relationship and he also becomes more touchy like in a very innocent way; he comes too close and now we have eye-contact really often. He also complements me.

I asked him while he was joking around, since when he acts like that, he said in a jocundly way I like you from a long time but now I became more confident to talk to you and I laughed it off.

I always tell him, that I know he is just joking around with me and he is such a womaniser. And I play along with his jokes.

I don't know, it is confusing me, because he forgets the things I told him before about me, which doesn’t leave a nice impression.

Can u please help me? is he playing around or “jokingly flirting”

Updates

1 y

I forget to say, that we both don’t follow the same religion, and he knows that I am religious and won’t have sexual relation.

[SueShe]

You state he is a womanizer and that would be enough to be a big red flag.

Of course he wants something from you and for that, he will flirting with you in a more innocent way but the final aim is still there.

If you want to be just another number on his trophy list, then you simply let him continue to flirt with you until he got you there where he wants. After he got his goodie, then you will see that he will move onto the next victim. It is very simply to analyze that kind of men.

I would recommend that you distance yourself from him and that you don't let him talk you into flirting back. You will only lose at the end.

[Asker]

I really don’t know, if he is for real a womanizer, I said that to him to let him know that I don’t take his flirting seriously.

[SueShe]

It seems from your account that he did not deny being a womanizer. Just be careful. That's all. Not everything that shines is gold...

[Asker]

thank uuu!

[D_Bone_Steak]

Is there any undue attention? <-- That question should answer your question alone.

The dude or any dude wouldn't even bother to talk to you unless there was some sort of reason. If you don't both share a particular interest or hobby that needs that kind of talk to continue... then that is the undue attention.

[Asker]

Can u explain more? I just realised, that we don’t have that much in common I mean hobbies etc. we have two different personalities.

[D_Bone_Steak]

For a lack of better words, I'm going to use a manosphere term, "beta orbiter male" or more specifically the definition "Beta Orbiter: The non Alpha Male who hovers (or orbits) around and pedestalizes women in hopes they can get their foot in the door and get chosen or laid." - Urban Dictionary.

So what I get from that is a guy that gives a girl undue attention, meaning there isn't a point other than just talking to the girl. For males the major driver is to get sex and for females, the attention... the idea is that sex/attention main interests will eventually be wanted by both parties and they will end up linking up and all of that Jazz.

To just put it simply, the guy is just trying to get your panties off. He's using the beta orbiter strategy to get that done. He's going to feed you attention and try to keep your attention span having him included as much as possible, so he'll have a place to start. The reason it's a beta strategy is these are the guys that complain when they get "friend-zoned" or just end up being a chick's "emotional tampon." It's a strategy that doesn't always work. A alpha dude probably would've already hit you up for the sex and dropped you like a bad habit if you showed no interest in it... and thus would be talking to another chick already. I guess a mix of the two would be that guy that "beta orbits" as many chicks as he can, pretty much all the time, because it's a numbers game and a game done all for the sake of getting laid.

So, back too you... undue attention or unwarranted attention... I think you're getting that, and the dude is giving that in hopes of it going somewhere sexual eventually. You copy?

[D_Bone_Steak]

I'd also like to add as a married man of 14+ years, these are the guys I have to be aware of... they are infamous for being "mate poachers" (a guy that will steal another guy's partner). You know, that guy that will like all of her pictures except the ones with you and the kids in it or make up dumb reasons to keep texting her when you're trying to just have dinner with your wife. I'm adding this just so you know a beta orbiter doesn't care if you're already taken. They're some pieces of shit like that. lolz

[Asker]

I get it now, thank u!

[Tyrael]

Call his bluff on this if you want to get to the bottom of it. Fully commit and tell him in a non joking way that you feel the same way and you think you should stop the silly games and get serious together.

He'll either crap his pants and admit he was joking, or he'll drop the joking act and get serious.

[noohair]

Men have a very fragile ego. When it is broken, it does not fix well. So he is joking to protect his ego if you rebuff him.

[Anonymous]

He wants something from you. I am not sure what that is, though,

[Anonymous]

Maybe he just wanna sexual relation