What are the most common dating mistakes guys make?

[Anonymous]

[RangerBlue22]

Being unable to determine if a woman is just being a woman (occasionally being unfair/irrational because of her emotions) vs. knowing she has no respect for you.

There is no substitute for respect. None. If she doesn’t respect you then you need to cut her off asap and walk away and mean it. It’s better to be alone and have self respect vs. being someone’s tool. This goes both ways by the way.

The reason guys struggle with this is twofold.

First is many of us have been brainwashed to kiss woman’s ass’s in western culture. That doesn’t mean we should be abusive assholes but too many men have been told “believe all women” bs via feminist doctrine since they were very young. We are told a woman is always right. Then we unknowingly fail shit tests when girls slight us. They actually want you to say something because they want to see how tough you are.

The second reason is most guys are more likely to tolerate crap for longer given dating is generally much harder for us than our female counterparts (when all else is equal). We have to take risks and stick out necks out. So when we get an opportunity we tend to cling to it given the scarcity issue.

Anyway women will be women and have their moments. They often don’t fight fair. Their emotions can make them say and do stupid things.

How you determine if it’s a respect issue is watch carefully how she behaves after the incident happens. Does she apologize after she calms down? Does she “thank you” when you do something nice? Or does she gaslight and try to justify it?

Guard your heart and trust your gut. If your gut is telling you a girl doesn’t respect you then there is a 99% chance she doesn’t. Don’t get angry at her (anger is still attention). Just say “hey it was nice to meet you and best of luck” and walk away. Don’t turn back either when you get to that point. There are worse things in this world than being alone.

[razelove]

I would say trying to be captain save a hoes, especially at your age. There are women that are worth time, effort, respect, and even compromise. Those are women you date, fall in love with, and that comes over time.
There are also women that are one night stands and completely casual. I've seen other guys suffer because women that are trying to be with them get treated like they're casual, while casual women get chased, compromised with, and held onto when they really don't want to be.
I can't think of anything more common than that where, you know, anything will lead up to an actual date. Women are guilty of that same mindset too. Though it's less common for women to switch between casual and relationship, where men may do so several times, but be slower to switch the mentality.

[jennifer_bloom]

A lot of men trust women simply because they are pretty and trust should be earned if you do not want to be betrayed or rejected.

The other thing is a lot of men build up the relationship but do not work to maintain it once the woman agrees to be with them.

People say woman choose to divorce more then men, but how many of those divorced men neglected the same dedication and care the have to the relationship that they first gave when she expected to marry him?

Another thing is setting boundaries. A man must disagree with his woman when she is wrong because if he chooses her over his principles, she will abuse him and exploit his love for her and she will neglect her responsibility to his house and her in laws.

[ShellyB]

The most common one I have encountered personally is acting fake in some way, like trying too hard to impress me, which can take different forms, such as boasting in ways I do not really believe, to acting scripted or robotic like they practiced too much. Also getting too complimentary on a first date does not always seem sincere, you only need to say one or two compliments you do not need to go on about it. I am not saying these are the worst mistakes, most of them are well intentioned, I am just saying what the most common mistakes are from what I have experienced.

[FilmGuy93]

Not being clear about our wants and intentions.

[ManOnFire]

Thinking she must be the one: some guys think because things are going great so far that she is the keeper.

Trusting a woman too quickly with his feelings or opening up about everything: a lot of women are either not quite ready for that, or will later on try to exploit it or use it against him.

Not listening to their gut: "If something feels off, it is." - Abraham Hicks. But you have a lot of guys who will ignore what they can clearly see is wrong with her because they hope they can get sex or hope their gut is wrong.

[ArrowheadSW]

Good advice. I remember in my younger years thinking that if it is going great at first, "it must be a good thing". But often things go well at first, but it isn't necessarily indicative of how things will turn out.

[ManOnFire]

@ArrowheadSW Right. Because usually later on down the road you start seeing some things in her that you're not sure about being okay with in a relationship.

[Anonymous]

Well the first major mistake most guys make is being a sexist and expecting women to setting for them. Sexist men believe women are their sex slave maids who are supposed to ruin their bodies by bearing children (and that’s before they begin to disrespect and control you even more for not being perfectly beautiful anymore. They expect women to work, cook for them, clean after them, take care of children by themselves as if they are a single mother, provide emotional support so they will feel like a ‘man’, be a pushover submissive woman while they abuse and cheat. They are manipulative and are great at pretending to be good. That’s how they get lucky with genuine women. I feel bad for those women, they got unlucky


So to fix this issue, a man has to be normal and not a sexist to begin with. If he is a sexist, any woman in his path will be ruined: could be mentally, physically, emotionally or all three

[Asad1ONE1]

Hey what you described is many men's experiences with women lol. This goes both ways.

[Opinion Owner]

@Asad1ONE1 So you’re telling me women want men (and society’s centuries long traditions) pushes men to be treated sex slaves, bear children so his body will be ruined and no other woman will want him, act as traditional housewives by taking care of the children as if it’s just the his job, cook, clean, give emotional support so women will feel womanly, be submissive so women can cheat and abuse men, be manipulative so women can get sex from men and make her care about him before she exposes her true intentions? What a reach just to lie lol

[Asad1ONE1]

Most men don't act like this and you're just being sexist. I'm sorry for your experiences but most women don't think like you thankfully 🙏.

[Opinion Owner]

@Asad1ONE1 This is why you didn’t comprehend my initial comment, it was about what most men do to WOMEN not what women do to men. Women are the ones expected to be submissive and a pushover to men. Men are expected to be strong and unyielding. Women are expected to cook and clean and do other other life skills things which is considered feminine and soft while masculine is considered doing things like being a business owner, someone’s boss, a president, truck driver, etc. Women are excepted to give up our bodily autonomy for men and men are not. Etc.

That has been the way of life for men and women for centuries thanks to men like you. So thank you for being you, many women are waking up, divorcing the likes of you, and fighting for our rights. There’s millions of us, more of us than you so just give up because we never will and we will never settle for you, accept your abuse, or manipulation.

by the way, your manipulation attempt sucks. You should work on that since you need a woman to agree to marry you and be your slave. Good luck with that lol

[Asad1ONE1]

Yea I understand your points. I was just referring to some things that aren't gender specific. But yes, certain men can be a**holes and contribute to a lot of sexism that make other men look bad. I believe such men are rare. I'm all for equally and don't believe in those traditional genders roles and those dominant/submissive exaggerations that can become toxic.

[Opinion Owner]

@Asad1ONE1 If you know those traditions have existed for centuries and exist today as well, why get so defensive in your initial comment. My response to this question addressed what’s wrong with SEXIST men not normal men who respect women who deserve respect, doesn’t rape, murder, manipulate or abuse, expect women to act as second class citizens just because of traditions. Normal men are perfect, I wouldn’t address them especially regarding this question which is meant to critique

[Asad1ONE1]

Yes I was referring specifically to those types of men.

[Anonymous]

Honestly? For caring. There's a reason why PUA's are successful. They have one goal in mind. And everything is designed to that end. A PUA doesn't worry about how he's being perceived by her except how I affects his success. Most guys want a relationship and that is why they fail. Stop trying to be what's good for and be what she wants. You can still be what's good for her long term if that's what you want. But you have to accept most women are too stunted mentally to know what's good for them. Chase what you want and pretend to care about what she wants. And somewhere along the way you might meet one worth keeping. That's the next thing you have to know. The majority of women today are trash. Some don't even realize it. Don't try to rehabilitate trash women just move on.

[Anonymous]

They give up too early b/c of rejection

They play the dating app game which is not going to work out for 'most' men

They let themselves go

The don't lock down a woman fast enough. Regular guys can't be out there dating for months and months the way women can. You have to put a ring on it before the other players see the bait in the water.

They don't consider drastic changes of location or the opportunities out there for foreign women.

They get tricked by cheap appearance games or go for the boobyliscous provocatively dressed man eaters.

They blatantly miss glaring red flags b/c they get pussy vision.

[SeriouslyFunny00]

When he keeps his problems/feelings/thoughts to himself. 🙃🤦‍♀️

[richgentlem4n]

@seriouslyfunny00 what if he's shy?

[SeriouslyFunny00]

Hmm.. I think shyness = no trust, 'cause how can a person know you more if you're keeping secrets from them? It'll not make a lasting and comfortable relationship. Plus, it makes the other person feel unloved. 😞

[richgentlem4n]

that's right ;)

[MyOwnMan2]

Would you readily tell a guy with a 6 pack and 8 inch dick your feelings? Yeah why would guys tell them their feelings to a girl who wears yoga pants and obsesses over the shape of her butt

[SeriouslyFunny00]

@MyOwnMan2 Haha, I am not impressed by a 6 pack and 8 inch something. 🤦‍♀️ And how does a person develop a relationship if the other person doesn't know what you feel or even what you think? Do you know that girls need some assurance, even the drop dead gorgeous ones? They'll think the guy wasn't interested and therefore move on to another guy who can express himself very well.

[MyOwnMan2]

If a guy isn't sharing his feelings that's because you look like a girl who you hookup with and move on from. Aka a narcissist

[MrNameless]

I'm not exactly sure how being shy means they are untrustworthy lol

[SeriouslyFunny00]

@myownman2, I'm talking about serious dating, not hookups. I am just referring this comment to those who are interested in serious dating, and if they know that a girl is serious about them also and is trustworthy enough.. there's nothing to be shy from. :)

Also, if you're just dating a girl to hookup and move on from her while she's clueless, it's not her fault that you are a user. That's why I am saying that you must have the guts to say what you want from her in the beginning and don't be shy, so you won't lead her on.

[MyOwnMan2]

Stop looking like a slut and men will open up

[richgentlem4n]

@seriouslyfunny00 don't mind him

[Leapfrog00]

Him not being himself. Not listening to his date when she talks. Not paying attention to her. Lying to impress her. Agreeing with her on certain topics, even if he doesn't. Pretending to be something that he's not.

I understand guys are nervous on dates, but what's the point of meeting someone if everything you tell them a lie? I know I'm not perfect.

[sassymoon]

1-not making sure their not dressed their best even if it’s casual women don’t like to see wrinkles and worn down shoes
2- not having your own car and money
3-immediately checking out other women
4- poor hygiene no deodorant
5- being to touchy way too soon at least let us check a vibe first don’t be pushy if comes off as desperate

[ArrowheadSW]

I noticed in my college years, that a lot of guys got "obsessed" over someone, and they wouldn't lighten up. I always thought that if I was in a position to "counsel" people in that age range, I'd suggest not obsessing over someone. If things don't look like they are working out relationship-wise, take a step back and re-evaluate.

[HighValue]

Not sticking to his morals/values.

Allowing himself to be manipulated into not having a prenuptial agreement.

Thinking that the woman doesn't need to put in equal effort in the relationship.

Agreeing with feminist lies just to try to get sex because he has weak willpower.

Being hypocritical. Requiring her to not make new opposite gender friends when in a relationship is totally reasonable, but he has to follow those same rules to be fair and respectable.

[midnightmoon05]

Picking the wrong woman. Not communicate his wants and needs. Give all the power to the woman.

[Anonymous]

There are a few:

1. Talk constantly about himself, his job and stuff like that, as a way of impressing her. Doing so can indicate egotism, insecurity, lack of social skills, or disinterest in her.

2. Talk about their ex.

3. Dump their woes and insecurities on her as a way of gaining sympathy or appearing vulnerable.

4. Talk about money.

[DizzyDesii]

When they bring up smoking weed, being a workaholic, calling women bishes, constantly partying or how many girls theyve banged, i lose complete interest

[spartan55]

@DizzyDesii
I've never understood the 'bitches' thing. And then women stay with those clowns despite the open disrespect. Just mind boggling.

[DizzyDesii]

@spartan55 the ones who stay are often the women happily calling their female friends the B word as well

[spartan55]

So trashy, I hate that shit.

[Reorx]

Unrealistic expectations.
Fear of communicating desire. (not verbally but body language)
Fear of breaking touch barrier.
Never be afraid to lose her & be willing to walk away.
Have boundaries & enforce them.
Be selective.
Make eye contact & smile.
Make a certain goal & embrace it, are you looking for a life partner? or fun?

[Signinggirl123]

1) asking for sex on the first date, especially when the girl looks uncomfortable the entire time.

2) hogging most of the conversation.

3) not being prepared with anything interesting to say about themselves

[Smashingdoozy]

Not being themselves, trying to be what they think the woman wants. Which eventually backfires either way. She either sees right through you or your mask drops and she doesn't like who you actually are.

[Nikki1989]

Spend an hour on here, and you will find 100 or more common mistakes without even trying. The sad thing is men still don't get it.

[pass_the_celery98]

In fairness there are women with high expectations and aren’t appreciative. I just saw a video of a woman who left a date because a guy thought ordering a slice of cheese on his burger in an expensive fancy New York restaurant was too much. There was another video I saw recently of a woman angry at her date that he cooked steak and mashed potatoes and she wanted to go to a fancy restaurant, mind you it was the second date. As a guy it’s not that hard to be a gentleman, ask for her opinion on what she likes and be assertive by planning something. Both guys and girls, men and women on here are guilty, we’re not perfect. There is a lot of incel hate from guys but there’s a lot of femcel hate as well. We live in a time where people are confused about their identities. In a recent US article some men are identifying themselves as babies, legit 2 year olds and want their mothers to change their diapers, im talking mid 40 yr old men. There are women out there who are hoping to grow a penis or testicles and become a guy.

[Peter_Penetrator]

I understand women way more than you think.

[pass_the_celery98]

@Peter_Penetrator I’m not going to take person with the username Peter penetrator, stop trying to flex your small dick for validation, dumb ass

[FictionalCharacter]

1) Bragging about their past relationship problems and still hung up on their ex

2) expecting sex on the first date

3) brags about their Job and how much money they make

[MrCommodore]

Probably guys sometimes try too hard with girls that aren't compatible, like on a date the guy still tries to match with her rather than realising its not working and moving on.

[BeachMe]

no interest in his date, looking at other women, talking about money he makes and talking with his mouth full of food - really don’t want that ending up on my face

[misspenny]

They are unusual. be yourself If you are not witty, don't try to force it. Don't pay too much attention to the other party, proceed with everything normally and respectfully. Another point is to let him talk more and ask him about the things he likes. Talking too much about your job, the first date is boring.

You can also use this article, it has some tips that make women happy: ( )

[HippieVeganJewslim]

If I be myself, then I have to be weird, as I’m a big weirdo.

[lightbulb27]

not knowing themselves or women, not being honest with their emotions, picking women based upon visuals.

[Avicenna]

Dating troubled women. Not taking enough time to get to know women. Not communicating well/reading the tea leaves. Not thinking about what she wants.

[Ecologygirl76]

1. not paying

2. not dressing smartly/dressing to impress (i. e. wearing a wife-beater or a t-shirt)

the rest would be common etiquette skills that would apply to anyone, male or female.

[Spongebobssocks]

• Moving too fast
• Acting feminine to get closer to us
• Pretending like we have the same intressts

[asphaltrhymes]

It's about patience and it's about everyone having a fair time to talk, and a fair time to be patient. patient in all and every, thing 👍🏻

[asphaltrhymes]

So thats they're common mistake: impatient, lol. I think the slang is demanding. Lol.

[asphaltrhymes]

*their

[annabananna]

Worrying too much about how what they say makes them look and what will make them look cool and impress the girl instead of focusing on getting to know the other person and being their authentic self.

[SomeGuyCalledTom]

Trying to mirror the girl's behavior and anticipating what he thinks she might like, rather than leading from the front and expressing his true personality.

[LiamJHayden]

The most common one I see is investing a lot of time and energy before even asking her if she's interested. I have seen friends waste months plotting and planning only to get shot down.

[Anonymous]

Being too available/opening up too quickly. A girl wants a guy with some mystery.

[Peter_Penetrator]

I don’t make myself too available, but I do vaguely open up about myself to create even more mystery, anticipation and turn up the heat on the seduction. All the while giving clues to my trustworthiness.
I can keep my cool when challenged. I can make a woman feel safe in my presence. I am not afraid to lead into physical contact. I am not afraid to state my intentions. I can maintain eye contact but not to the point of being creepy or appearing psychotic. I understand that women fear emotional and physical harm from men they cannot trust. Most of all, when a woman is ready for my physical touch, she will feel like a woman should feel. I am a gentle man, I am a gentleman, I am not at all a selfish lover and will put her desires above my own. I do not rush my intimacy. I start from her head, work my way down to her heart, before working her other erogenous zones….

[Haha456]

sleeping with a woman too early. you have no idea how much this turns a woman off.

[EpicSnail]

Err... What? In my experience, most women get hooked on a guy after sleeping with him?

[Haha456]

@EpicSnail

Only dumb low quality women sleep on first or second dates. When you are touchy feely too early, you're turning away good women. Maybe thats why you didn't hear from her again

[Sparkie460]

The biggest mistake guys do is disrespecting women and hitting them

[KrakenAttackin]

Leading with their wallet. Hold onto your money and make her earn expensive dinners and gifts.

[Enaya]

When they are not vulnerable and are too busy masking their real selves with bravado.

[mommymommymommy]

Telling her too early that they like her. Girls want to be told, but, if you're literally meeting her and telling her, she's going to be turned off

[aoihewgf]

Letting their emotions overrule their logical frame. Be stoic, dont let anything girlfriend says or does dictate your emotions.

[sheikalana]

Showing too much interest too soon. Constantly texting/calling.

[YourExLover69]

I think they expect a lot in very little time of knowing a girl. Big expectations

[Vegasrunner]

Focusing on one girl. Set up multiple dates w/ multiple girls to give yourself the best chance to close. Women are just a numbers game.

[Anonymous]

Ignoring the earning signs because they want to get laid.

[Pudsmucker]

Foot in the mouth disease. I think it's caused by a lot of nervousness

[TheFlak38]

Going to the date itself and waste their time and money as a result.

[Shy_Steve]

I think most of us Guys are usually just to Shy and Afraid to Approach.

[HippieVeganJewslim]

Especially this dude!

[shades777]

dating a women thats not gitty about you.
if she ain't gitty your in for a rough ride

[horndog112]

Asking her to peg you too early in the relationship

[Peter_Penetrator]

So you let them wear the strap-on in the relationship.

[horndog112]

If they really want to. It can be fun sometimes

[Anonymous]

Being too vulnerable too early, or in general

[inhua]

simping and losing his backbone completely

[Justmeagain1]

Not showing their real self.

[leahzrc]

lol being too interested in themself or me

[loveslongnails]

They don't focus on listening to their date.

[Massageman]

They don't ask for the date!

[Iron_Man]

Trying to get her in bed

[ZombieInLove]

I think, the best mistake is talking much.

[OddBeMe]

Different per woman.

[DizzyAster2]

Not asking her about herself enough.

[BlondesWin]

Not understanding boundaries or signals

[Chris2254]

What kind of signals?

[In_Trance]

Being friends first/after

[Willoughby23]

Not asking her out in the first place

[Chthou95]

Giving her attention she didn't earn

[Tstrbrainer]

They go on dates in the first place