Why in the world would a guy talk behind a girl's back if he likes her?

[WeedyWitch1018]

A gal pal of mine has been talking intimately to a guy from her work for over a year. I had lunch with two mutual guy friends who know this guy well. While they aren't best friends with my gal pal's coworker, they see and talk to the guy often enough due to where he works. I guess the other day, this guy told my guy friends that she was a wh**** and a suicidal crazy bitch. Both of these guys have major crushes on our friend. It's not hard to tell at all. Plus, my friend has shown me the texts between them. They're... spicy. But he is into it as much as she is for sure-If not more. Could it be that this guy knows that our two friends can pose a potential threat or something to him, and that he is trying to repulse them so that he can have her all to himself? This is the weirdest drama I've ever encountered. He seems so into her. Like he loves her, actually. So why?

Updates

+1 y

It's important to note that this is all a he said-she said situation. There is no real proof, although two against one looks pretty bad.

[BullShark]

If he really truly loves her, then he'll never EVER talk bad about her to anyone. And if he's worried about his friends stealing her away, then he won't talk about her at all, good or bad. But if he talks bad, then that just means he actually doesn't like her at all and he's just using her for sex and thinks she's easy to get. That what a typical fuckboy does because he treats the girls he dates like trophies to be added to his harem.

So what you need to do is confront his said friends what they actually mean, to see if your friend's boyfriend really said those things, or are they just lying to you about the things he actually says so that you end up telling your friend about it and it ruins their relationship, because that's something fake friends do all the time when they're jealous of their friends' partners and want them to break up. Something similar happened to me a while ago, so I know how it feels to have snakes as friends. Make sure you also ask for evidence about the things they claim he said too for "proof" to show to your friend because "she needs to know the truth too". Get it?

If they're hesitant about sharing the evidence, then that right there should be a clear sign that they're full of shit and just wish to see their friend and his girl miserable, and hopefully, weasel themselves into her life as his replacement. If you do end up finding some leads, talk to your friend's boyfriend about it secretly and start by asking how he truly feels about her and that he can open up to you. All in all, pretty challenging state of affairs, but y'know what they say. You gotta do what you gotta do to keep your friends happy.

[lightbulb27]

maybe she is expressing things to him you aren't seeing and he doesn't know how to translate it? Girls are... whacky from a guys viewpoint, ya know? as in... emotionally... all over the place. She may share things like "I want to kill myself" to him and not to you.

I doubt he is just making that up to block them, but he could be.

[Uenvy694u]

He talks about her behind her back. Cause he has some insecurity issue. U should tell him 2 grow up. Its not nice 2 talk about people. Especially the one he is with. I would say if it keeps up. Then tell the girl that way she can decide what 2 do about it.

[Manuel2]

Most people will do that. But whether a boy or girl. These people are no more than shit sterers or worse, manlipulatars.
But if they just attention seeking. That can be easier to deal with.

As in your story, keep out of it. Because everyone will blame you and claim your jealous of all the male attention she is getting.
KEEP AWAY FROM THIS MADNESS

[RavVid]

It could be as you think but if it is over a year of just talking it doesn't seem to be serious on his part. That is the weirdest part of this.

[Avicenna]

Only possible explanation is to throw them off the scent

[LiamJHayden]

He's probably insecure and trying to limit the competition by making her seem toxic.

[mommymommymommy]

Why would anyone talk behind anyones back

Because their gutless cowards

[Grubhub]

Maybe because like most girls, she thinks she’s too good for him

[Anonymous]

Another example of another Woman trusting the wrong type of Guy, If you don't want to take Guys advice and lower standards and go after Shyer Guys this is going to keep happening to you Girls.

[Aiko_E_Lara]

Same reason why in the world a girl would talk behind a guy's back if she likes him.

[In_Trance]

Maybe he doesn't like her that much

[Iron_Man]

That’s bad

[Anonymous]

He's a gossip bitch.