Why would a guy get mad at a girl who isn’t his girlfriend instead of the other guy when he sees her talking to another guy?

[Anonymous]

When a guy is jealous of his crush talking to another guy, why did he express his anger towards the girl instead of the guy she talks to?

[Anonymous]

Well for one he shouldn’t express his anger to anyone. Whether it was the girl or the boy because she’s not in a relationship w him. Now I could see if he was angry if she was leading him on, flirting w him. There’s no reason why he should be mad at the other dude. Other dude probably doesn’t even know what the situation is. It’s like when someone cheats w someone who has no idea they’re w someone, why you mad at that person be mad at your boyfriend or girlfriend or husband or wife. But in this case the dude who got angry is neither so he really has no right to express his anger to the girl. Doesn’t mean he can’t be mad while keeping it to himself. May even give her the silent treatment but again there’s nothing there between the two as far as I can tell other than him having a crush on her.

[Asker]

I never lead him on, I do secretly like him but he doesn’t know because I never show my interest, but he does flirt with me a little bit sometimes, no idea if he has a crush on me or not.
I liked talking to another guy, he probably knew we two talked a lot, everybody knows, but he didn’t lash out at me then. But just this time, the other guy asked me a normal question, I just answered “give the paper to X.”
Then he immediately woke from his sleep, and lashed out at me “why u mentioned others’ name. Why why why, go do some self reflection”

I have no idea why he was angry. Apparently I did nothing wrong in the professional conversation. I don't know if he was just mad at me talking to another guy but if that is the case, isn’t it more logical to lash out at the other guy? Why me, I don’t understand

[Opinion Owner]

So he seen you talking to him or you told him?

[Asker]

He saw us talking. Everyone in the class knows me and the other guy talked a lot as the teacher always mentioned our names

[Opinion Owner]

Ok so why did he say, “why do you mention others’ name?”

[Asker]

I don't know that’s why I wanna know. What he said doesn’t make sense at all.

A guy asked me if the paper was to be submitted to me, I said no, to X. The conversation was just as simple as that.
Then he woke from his sleep, walked up to me and started lashing out at me.

[Opinion Owner]

Makes it sound like you told him about it. Which if you did sounds as though you were trying to get a reaction out of him to see whether he likes you or not. But you said you didn’t so maybe he has some mental issues. Where was he sleeping? At work?

[Asker]

What makes it sound like I told him about it? Told him about what?
In the class, during my conversation with another guy he woke from his sleep suddenly.

[Opinion Owner]

By him saying what he said it makes it sound as though you told him some other dude was talking to you. But you said you didn’t so that’s why I said sounds like he has mental issues.

[Asker]

He’s normal lol

[Opinion Owner]

Well “normal” has many interpretations but to me he doesn’t sound like it.

[FilmGuy93]

Just ask him.

Obviously these people are not in a relationship. We can't tell you what his specific motivations were.

[Jazzy54]

He’s probably jealous and wish she was talking to him. Sometimes, jealousy comes out as anger.

[Asker]

If he’s jealous, shouldn’t he have lashed out at the other guy instead of the girl?

[Jazzy54]

Nope. He’s mad at her because she’s not talking to him. I know. Crazy logic, but that’s usually how it goes.

[Miristheiss]

If they are not a couple and haven't had any romantic bond then it makes ZERO sense for him to be "mad" at all. He must actually like her romantically if it is upsetting him.

[Asker]

But why did he lash out at the girl instead of the other guy?
Actually I don't know why that guy got mad..
I don't know if he likes me romantically, he did act weird when another guy approached me, he jokingly told him I had a “friend” already and kept repeating it until the guy was gone.

[Anarcamus]

Really.
You baited this interaction then, look at your word choice. Stop chasing attention, your going to hurt people.

[Asker]

What words choice?

[Anarcamus]

You want him to be jealous.
You are focused on the interaction and intent of their attention. Both of them.

I'm assuming you want to know if this guy is interested but you look at it from a game mindset...

[Asker]

I never intend to play mind game. I like one only, I don’t like the other one.

[SolitarySolace]

Because it’s all on her. She’s the decision maker not the other guy. And if she’s seeing one guy and then being ask lovey with another, makes the first guy feel all good advances and things he did for her to win her over was pointless

[Asker]

She isn’t his boyfriend, he doesn’t even know she likes him or not. If she’s not his girlfriend, then she can talk to whoever she can?
Shouldn’t he get mad at the guy who takes the girl’s attention away?

[strateguy632]

he preferd complaining to the one he felt connection due to has feelings, like more connected than to the male.

[Asker]

Won’t he worry that the girl will dislike him when he does that? :-/

[Anarcamus]

Not at all. A guy who us true to himself isn't going to fully care like that unless he wants to invest. He is not going to bother otherwise

[Asker]

@anarcamus what does it mean?

[Anarcamus]

I don't think he's all that interested

[Asker]

Why so?

[Anarcamus]

If you had a relationship with him, I'd say he is. This sounds like he's just puffing himself around

[Asker]

Puffing himself around? How?

[CallmeTheKnight]

Obviously he has feelings for the girl who happens to know how he feels about her. The other guy has nothing to do with it

[Asker]

He doesn’t know the girl knows how he feels..
what do you mean “the other guy has nothing to do with it”?

[YourExLover69]

Guys are jealous. He was expecting you to talk with him only.

[Asker]

But I’m not his girlfriend and he doesn’t know I secretly like him

[YourExLover69]

Still you could be his crush. He might also secretly likes you too. His ego and expectations are hurt

[Asker]

Yea but if a guy is jealous, why doesn’t he lash out at the other guy who talks to his crush but lash out at a girl he has a crush on?

[YourExLover69]

Because he had expectations from you not from that guy. Maybe he lashed out him too but not in front of you or could do that later

[Asker]

No he then started to have lunch with him everyday 😂

[YourExLover69]

Lol 🤣 he seems coward then 🤣

[Asker]

Coward? Why?

[YourExLover69]

He is lashing out a girl instead of a guy. Lol

[Asker]

I don't know what happened and im not sure why he lashed out at me

[YourExLover69]

He is kinda possessive guy even you are his crush for now. Imagine what would happen if you were his girlfriend 😏

[Asker]

Possessive 😂 only if he was mad because of jealousy, I’m not sure yet. Him having a crush on me is just my assumption

[YourExLover69]

Yeah. We can only assume for now 😏

[Asker]

Why you smile like this 😂

[YourExLover69]

It's just something flirty, or interesting when I use that emoji 😏

[Asker]

Okay lol

[YourExLover69]

Alright have a good day. lol

[8InchesChris]

This is called brotherhood jealousy, its like your best friend sees a guy talking to you. Get in between or just looks pissed off honey

[Luopio27]

Love makes people do crazy things.
"Will Smith"

[boggboss]

Why would he express it to the guy?

[Asker]

Because normally guys won’t express their anger to the girl he likes but sees the other guy as a threat so he’ll dislike the guy. That’s why it’s more logical to express anger to the person you dislike instead of the person you like?

[boggboss]

No thats not how guys think unless he is already with the girl

[Asker]

So you mean if he’s not with the girl, he will express his anger towards his crush instead of the other guy?

[boggboss]

Yeah because he likes the crush that is entertaining others

[Asker]

But won’t he think he has no right to directly blame the girl cause she’s not his girlfriend?
And won’t he be afraid that she’ll dislike him if he gets angry at her?

[boggboss]

The same way he has no right to get angry at the other guy because he is not with the girl and you are assuming he is acting that way logicaly and not emotionally out of anger that she is showing other guys attention

[Asker]

Right 😂 I mean if he is to get angry, it would be logic to express it to someone he dislikes instead of someone he likes

[boggboss]

Do u think people never get angry at people they like?

[boggboss]

Also u know stuff like anger rarely come from a place like logic right they don't think I wonder who I will get angry with

[Asker]

I just wonder because I often see guys dislike and be rude to each other because they talk to the girl they like. But rarely do I see guys get angry at the girl directly because of jealousy

[boggboss]

Then thats just u I have seen plenty of guys lash out from being jealous at a girl

[Asker]

Well once a guy told me he hated the guy who talked to his crush but I never saw him getting mad at the girl but at the guy only

[boggboss]

Thats not how all guys are tho lol

[Asker]

Okay, were the guys who lashed out out at the girls in a relationship with her or not?

[boggboss]

No they where not

[Asker]

😲😲

[boggboss]

Why is that surprising did u think men are not able to act emotionally

[Asker]

What do you mean act emotionally?
You mean act not according to logic?
I’m surprised because the first thing that comes to mind when feeling jealous is anger towards the person (other guys) who is a threat to something you value (the girl you like). So that would mean you will confront the person who tries to take away the thing you value

[boggboss]

No thats not the first thing to come to mind anger at the girl that's entertaining other guys would tend to be the first feelings

[boggboss]

Getting angry at the people that like her is pointless because that could be a infinite growing number of guys

[Asker]

But the girl that’s entertaining other guys? But the girl does nothing wrong because she’s not her girlfriend, he likes her it doesn’t mean she’s a bitch because he talks to other guys right lol

[boggboss]

I never said she is a bitch but equally the guys that talk to her have done nothing wrong so whats your point

[Asker]

My point is a guy has no reason to lash out from jealousy at a girl he likes but it will make more sense if he lashes out at the guy whom he thinks is trying to steal her attention away.

[boggboss]

Neither makes sense lol both are based on jelouse and emotions

[In_Trance]

I don't know, this is already too much drama

[Asker]

What do you mean too much drama