Why does a married man at work flirt constantly yet bring up sex with his wife? Is he even flirting?

[Anonymous]

I work in a really busy fast paced environmemt and when we are busy we are slammed often on 12 hour shifts and i spend a lot of time with this guy at work and dont know if im misreading things. he's a chatty flirty guy sure but he is only over the top with me. I get hugs, he touches me constantly, he helps me with any job that doesn't need it nessecarily, the eye contact is mad insane and he will stroke my arm when its just us. Now, im affectionate to all but i think this is just aimed at me. The reason im concerned is he is married. I hate confrontation and would be mortified if i asked him to stop hitting on me and actually he wasn't, he was just being himself and i had misread these signals. He stays late just to sit and talk, he will help me with jobs that doesn't involve him, touches my back, my arm, my leg, i get 'kisses' on text messages, he will always fight my corner to anyone who questions me, friends have commented on the weird tension between us. Is this normal guy behaviour? Am i just so out of the loop that this is how it is? I dont want to make the work environment awkward unnesecarily. Lastly he mentoins sex with his wife a lot and will always tell me when he's had spme. Why is this? Im so confused.

[Anonymous]

It’s very common to have a person at work the flirts with you or vice versa, while one or both of you are in a relationship. People do it so much because they can get away with it, since their spouse expects them to be at work there’s nothing but opportunity.
However, just because it’s so common doesn’t make it appropriate. You’re right to keep your suspicions to yourself, because I’m sure he would deny it (as not to get in trouble at home or work).


So ultimately I think your best bet would be to set some boundaries. When he starts touching your leg or back and/or initiates flirting, either show that you’re uncomfortable by brushing his hand away; or just be vocal but polite. Ask him to please not do that, you don’t even to give an excuse.


If you have a fear of taking either of those routes, ask yourself why the hang up? Because if he can interact with you without touching or flirting then he’s not trying to be a friend to you in the first place and just having some pointless fun at your expense.

[Opinion Owner]

***can't interact with you without

[RespectfulGuy]

Forbidden fruit always taste sweet.

But he's still sensible. He knows the consequence of cheating and avoid it at all cost.

And legally speaking, he's not cheating. His marriage is not at risk.

But he likes you. And although he'll not eat the forbidden fruit, he touches it. That's no sin.

To this end, the final decision is yours. If you think he should not touch you, then tell him your boundaries. You know where this will lead to. Your choice.

[Avicenna]

Maybe he's mostly after attention. It is NOT normal behavior.

[Iron_Man]

Not good don’t get involved with his flirting or hugs just tell him you’re a married man

[In_Trance]

He's bored