What’s the best way to move past/ignore a guy who’s been sexting you and you live in the same apartment building?

[Anonymous]

I don't know how it got to that point or escalated but now I’m uncomfortable. We matched in an app and he just started saying so many sexual things right away. I’m actually still a virgin, so sometimes these things are interesting to talk about but to an extent, but now I feel stupid. Should I let it go and not worry?

[kylee2437]

Tell him you aren’t interested. Flat out be honest. The more you entertain it / show slight interest, the more he will try to pursue you.

[Asker]

I feel so disgusting right now, in fact sick to my stomach. It got carried away. I even told him I’d prefer talking about other things and then I said ONE little thing he perceived as sexual and then he told me it’ll be hard for him to not think about me in that way.

[Asker]

Usually guys are more respectful who I talk to. And this is one of the first occurrences where I’m actually feeling gross.

[kylee2437]

Yeah just tell him straight up, and then don’t even look his way when you pass by.

[Asker]

What if he tells his friends about it? I am worried I just ruined my image for any potential guys I meet. He’s a tool.

[berisky23]

If you feel uncomfortable tell him that. If he respects it maybe you can talk in a more chill manner and if not block him and just move on.

[Asker]

I tried suggesting we talk about other things but then I mentioned ONE thing that was a little sexual and then he went back to being creepy. I felt sucked into it. But I will take your advice

[berisky23]

Ok I see, just don't put yourself in any dangerous situations or force yourself to be uncomfortable for his benefit.
Also make sure a friend is aware of the situation. If he persists I would just tell him your focussing on yourself for a while and need to talk less. It's a nice way to explain a sudden stop in replies, because if he's aware your uncomfortable and is continuing, that's a major red flag!

[Asker]

I was afraid of being blackmailed or something so I kept talking to him. The red flags of sexual talk weren’t immediate.
Anyway more than anything I feel just used. We didn’t do anything together. But I just feel disgusting. I have been preserving myself for the right person for this type of thing Not him

[berisky23]

No of course and even if they were I'm not here to blame you. It's not your fault. What exactly would he use to blackmail you?

I'm sorry you feel that way, but stick to your principles, be brave and tell him to do one 🙂

[Asker]

Thanks so much! ❤️
Black mail - I don't know just if I ticked him off he’d make up some rumor or something. Some guys get vindictive if a girl doesn’t give them something.

[berisky23]

Okay I understand that. If he tried that, just screenshot it and send. it back to him asking if he wants the police to see it.

And you're absolutely welcome! Good luck with everything! Reach out if you get stuck

[Asker]

Update: I just sent him a text outlining this and how we both went wrong, etc. anyway he replied and was like “Sorry you have that impression of me as well - just following your lead. That’s fine with me. Best of luck!” LOL following MY lead? Way to make me the aggressor!

[berisky23]

That's pretty classic deflection, but don't let him see he's annoyed you. Be the bigger person and leave it at that. Easier to be rid of him that try and get the last word.

Well done for backing yourself 🙂

[Asker]

Lol I just replied clarifying that it turned sexual on his end. But then told him after that I seriously don’t care about this, life is short so just enjoy it. I’m just going to move on and forget this bullshit anyways. No need to be hung up on it.

[berisky23]

Yeah that sounds like a healthy idea to me. Some people are just agg

[Asker]

He’s trying SO hard to act like I am the one in the wrong. So I didn’t get defensive back. Instead I just said “no worries, it’s in the past 😊 you too!” In response to him saying how he doesn’t understand how the conversation went the way it did and told me to “take care!”

[Asker]

I’m so confused. He told me I’m fun to flirt with and stuff. NEVER asked me out or anything though. What a loser!