What would you do if you were a very handsome man?

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

So, my brother is quite handsome, exceptionally handsome I would say, and I have always been telling him to make the best out of his looks and he says he hates when people say he is handsome and he wants to be appreciated and liked for his mind instead of looks. He is indeed quite smart and an amazing person, but it’s overshadowed by how handsome he is.

He was often invited as an actor and has acted in the theater a few times and has been invited to act in movies too, but declined cause he was a student. He studied in Med school but quit cause he thought it’s not for him.

He is now trying to find his path.

He tells me he wishes he was like me that everyone thinks I am smart, I wish I were like him, with the brain I have, I’d just do wonders if I was as attractive as my brother is.

I think he takes his appearance for granted, girls go crazy over him and yet, he wastes his years not using the most out of it.

If I had looks like his, I would use it to make money, either act or advertise or just about anything.

How do I motivate to use it? He won’t always be this young. And I think he doesn’t realize just how lucky he is.

Updates

10 mo

Just about anything - “decent” I mean. When you are as handsome as he is, lots of doors are open for you, if you are only brave enough to knock.

Updates

10 mo

The other day there was a movie casting in China, I sent his picture and they told me, they actually wouldn’t even ask any more questions and he’d be applied for a leadingrole if he was in China.

He wasn’t in China and we didn’t proceed, but he has also tried acting in Georgia and did great.

I just want to encourage him to find his path and I know he always enjoyed acting, I want him to try things and not waste his time feeling lost. Recently his business failed and he had been feeling lost.

[dynamicyandere]

I would simply go one to do and accomplish what I want in life.


If I want to become an actor, then I’ll work on that.


If I want to become an athlete, then I’ll work on that.


If I want to become an entrepreneur, then I’ll work on that.


What’s important is that I’m doing what is fulfilling to me and at the end of my life I will be able to look back at the way I lived my life and believe that I lived my life well.


Whatever he works on will be easier because of his looks, but he still should not deviate from what he wants to accomplish in his life.


If he wants to become a chef, great! He’ll just be a handsome chef.


If he wants to become a doctor, great! He’ll just be a handsome doctor.


At the end of the day, even he said that he wants to be valued for what’s in his mind, so he should do something that helps what’s within him blossom.


At the end of the day, he should take the path of least regret.

[glennos89]

Please understand this... 🙏

Guys in general don't care that much avout being pretty and good looking. Girls wanne look pretty and being seen that way but guys just don't care about being pretty. We aren't designed by nature to feel pretty.

I understand that you want to help him by telling him he should care about the way he looks and dressses but you are really pushing him away from being a dude that way!

Guys should be mascline and girls should be feminine. Nature designed us this way for a reason. Mixing up the genders is totally going to ruin our society sooner or later.

Ofcourse anybody should be able to be whoever they want to be... live and let live!

But we all need to stop pushing guys to be more feminine and girls to be more masculine and just accept people the way they are! Don't try to change other people from who they actually are.

Do your brother a favour and let him be who he wants to be. Let him not care about the way he looks because that's him being a man. Guys don't care about their looks. We care about providing and protecting for our family's. Being pretty isn't a part of that 🤷‍♂️

But

[Ms_Facesitter]

I would still stay to myself. "make the best out of your looks" and you'll attract the worst too. You'll meet more people who know you for your looks and not for you are, because that's all you gave them, your looks.

[caring__1]

Girls are more likely to appreciate being noticed for their looks. Guys are more likely to appreciate being noticed for their words, actions and accomplishments. Dwelling on your brother's looks will only make him uncomfortable. He'll prefer being appreciated for things within his control. Never assume what has value for you has value for others, also.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Well, we are other way around, I am more often praised for my mind, he’s more often praised for his looks, he’s quite smart as well, but his looks would easily make him a celebrity if only he wished.

He is also very charismatic, something we both share.

I just feel sad he feels lost in life right now and I know he has got a mental as well as physical resource to be very successful.

That’s why I encourage him to try acting, he always had leading roles when he did.

[caring__1]

Encourage him to believe in what he values, not your values. It would be the same as guys telling girls they should prefer dogs over cats, since guys tend to prefer dogs over cats. Respect others, and let them live the life that works best for them. Telling him what he should do is just telling him he'll never measure up to your expectations.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Well, you are right. I always listen to him and I am trying my best to be a supportive sister, he says I mean the world to him and that I am his support system and the most important person for him in the world. I just feel sad seeing him depressed and that’s why I encourage him to try things.

[caring__1]

Support systems build people up for the choices they make. They don't tear them down. If you don't want him to be depressed, show him you believe in his ability to think for himself. Facilitate his exploration and discovery rather than spoon feed him and imply he can't think for himself. Never imply he's too stupid to think for himself by rescuing him. Show him you see him as capable of doing what he values rather than attempt to mold him into your own little puppet.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I think, he can be very successful in anything he tried and I have always been telling him that.

He also has a very rare negotiating skills, is indeed very smart. I think his only problem is the fear of failure which makes him hesitate try things.

I don’t try and would never insult him to make him my “puppet”, I am more of a puppet that he is because I trust his words and advice to me without double checking and he’s got my full trust and belief.

It’s just I want to push him to try things and not hesitate.

[caring__1]

Do you really think guys enjoy being pushed? It's fine to say you're impressed with his specific skills and talents, but stay within his comfort zone. Are you going to start encouraging him to wear dresses, because you feel he'd look cute in dresses? Stop making decisions for others. Never assume he appreciates being told what to do... just because you enjoy that.

Respect people for who they are, not for the potential they can become. By using the word 'potential' he'll believe nothing he ever does will satisfy you... as he could always be better. I've seen too many disappointing results when the focus is on potential.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I no longer tell him he’s handsome, instead I always compliment his mind. I have zero will to change who he is, whatever he decides I’ll support. But he badly underestimates himself…

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

After his business failed, he went back to work and he works for a salary that I make in 5 hours just because he thinks he is anyhow less than others. He isn’t, he is much smarter than I am and even though he hates to be told that, much more handsome than the 90 % of men. He just needs to know he can do anything.

[caring__1]

Ask him to share what he's learned from his experiences and how he plans to apply that knowledge. Too many compliments are worse than no compliment, as we feel the other is trying too hard, so the compliments are probably not true. Never compare him to you or anyone else. Just ask him to identify where he is, where he wants to be and what paths might lead him in that direction.

Whatever direction we face is the direction we tend to go. If we focus on negative, we'll get more negative; if we focus on positive, we'll get more positive. Critical pessimism just keeps us down. Ask him to identify what he does want rather than what he doesn't want. Make sure he stays realistic from his perspective. If he says he's a loser, ask him to identify which traits make someone a winner, which he has, and then help him to explore how he may be able to enhance what already exists.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Thank you, I’ll do that.

[caring__1]

You're welcome. Hopefully, he'll start feeling better about himself and more in control of his life.

[msc545]

He is an adult and there may be reasons that you are unaware of that he is not doing his best. Leave him be.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I know… It’s just recently we talked very honestly and he told me after quitting med school and having his business fail, he is feeling a bit lost and doesn’t know what to do.

I supported him when he wanted to quit Med school and I always encourage him do what he wants, but I have a hunch he maybe doesn’t try things because he is a bit wary of failing and he badly underestimated himself in both categories, looks and mind.

He’s very smart and very handsome, I would think I own the world if I were him. I just wanted to encourage him is all, I no longer tell him he’s handsome as he dislikes being told that, I tell him he is smart and that’s a truth.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

After having his business failed he was discouraged , until I told him that he’s the smartest person I know and that he is wasting his huge resources, only then he started getting back to his life. (I am trying not to tell him he is very handsome as he dislikes, it’s just I was wondering if he liked acting why he doesn’t go for it anymore, I was not judging him, I am just worried maybe he is worried of failing and that’s why because my mom raised us as perfectionists.) I just want him to know it’s okay to try and fail.

So I think sometimes he needs encouragement and I might have done wrongly but that’s what I was trying.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

What would you do if you were very very handsome? I know you are very smart, I wonder how would your mind take advantage of your looks

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Also, when you dislike my opinions, feel free to criticize me freely, I liked when you did it. It showed me the other perspective.

[msc545]

Perhaps you should not tell him anything at all other than "I love you".

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Thank you for reminding 💖

Just messaged him “მიყვარხარ”.

[msc545]

Ok sure. Keep in mind you are his sister, not his mother, and his appearance has a different and lesser value to him than it does to you.

[Gent207-2]

Looks fade due to age or injury - I wouldn't bet my living on it. Plus his living would be based off of people's opinions and we all know the public is more fickle than anything

[justabuddy]

He will learn to use both. I still think the mind is the greatest asset a person can have. So don't think he is wrong.

[strateguy632]

explain that he has good looks that can be a career

[Christoff92]

Focus on my potential goals. Not worry about people around me especially if they're hot looking women. But approach the ladies like a gentleman and with outstanding honesty 😊

[Raaj4you]

If I were a very handsome man. I should have dated and slept with 10000+ girls. After that I should have married the hottest girl in the world. 😅😂🤣

[DrKrieger]

Think you've been reading too much step brother smut haha

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Hey, silly I don’t even like green eyed men as they feel home to me, since my brother is green eyed. Share your perverted thoughts somewhere else.

[DrKrieger]

That's fair, but don't you think it's kind of weird to be calling your siblings hot?

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I am not a native English speaker, I call them whatever I learned expresses “very handsome” man.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

It doesn’t mean I think he is hot for me, gosh, I date men I like are totally different than him.

My ex fiancé was Asian and my brother is white. I am saying what I know he is for other girls and just about for anyone other than family.

[Rangers]

Nothing, I'm not into hookup culture and loyalty is important to me

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I never mentioned hookup. I am talking about having a career in the profession where his looks are highly sought after.

[Rangers]

Only things I can think of are modeling, other than that, nobody really cares how one looks

[John_Doesnt]

I would send dick pics. But I already do that, so I must be really handsome.

[SolitarySolace]

I'd keep doing what I'm currently doing. I don't think anything would change to be honest.

[Anonymous]

Just because you have superpowers does not mean you have to use them for evil you know.

[Vikkrram]

We all would like to see how he looks like tbh

[mommymommymommy]

DO NOT USE YOUR LOOKS TO GET WHAT YOU WANT

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Even if you want to be a celebrity? Model?

[mommymommymommy]

yeah

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I am not talking about just looks, I am talking about the type of looks who can make millions out of it. Especially since he is also talented. We come from the family of actors, our grandma was the best female actor of the Soviet Union before she became a politician later on.

[mommymommymommy]

i dc. DO NOT USE YOUR LOOKS TO GET WHAT YOU WANT

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

If I used my looks, I could. I don’t use that. However if I had the absolutely best looks, I’d use that by acting or modeling part-time.

[mommymommymommy]

And that's what im saying. DONT DO IT

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Why not? What’s wrong with acting and modeling?

I have worked part time as a fitness model in the past… What’s wrong with that? All while being a student and working two other jobs where I was paid for my mind.

[mommymommymommy]

So you do have the looks

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

So…?

[BLP11520]

Be the same way, dating may have been easier?

[EaterPeter]

Live the f*ed life just like now

[LavLavLuv]

I’d be a model