I'm 21, my boyfriend is 29. We both have poor money management but I am improving. He drives trucks (non CDL) and makes okay pay. I don't pay any bills (as I should) and I also work however I make less. We often go on store runs for the house and he will always ask me if I have my card, sometimes to buy him xyz. When it declines because I accidentally locked it now everyone in line knows that I'm paying not him. If the cashier is a woman she shoots me a pitiful look like "are you serious?" I've seen such an increase in women paying at the register while their man cowers being her sometimes they even look proud. He pays all of the bills and that leaves him with some but he doesn't know how to save he rather buy alcohol, hydes, weed, dog toys. But somehow I'm the issue.
Stupid!!!
Doesn't Matter How It Makes You Look
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Anonymous
(36-45)
10 mo
To me if he’s taking care of the major bills then it’s best you at least purchase some of the things, it’s only fair. Either we’re equal or we’re not. I assume you two have separate accounts? You both need to sit down to really talk about this. Financially this could be the reason why the two of you separate, usually is for most couples. When you say xyz, what are we talking about. I’m sure it’s no where near what he spends on bills. This tends to be the issue w women. Women wants a man’s money to be our money but their money is their money. Men are usually willing to share resources, women aren’t. If you really care about him you both need to really look at yourself, admit what your mistakes are financially as far as your spending habits. Differentiate between need or want. Sure it may suck for 2-5 years going w out this or that which isn’t a necessity, but it’s better than living the life you’re living for the rest of your life. Trust me even if you two got a $10,000 annual raise, you’re still going to be broke. People who make more tend to make bigger purchases, spend more. I’d suggest maybe listening to Richard Kiyosaki or Dave Ramsey. There’s a lot you can do to change your situation. Figure out your bills, debt, extra income if you have some.
0
20 Reply
Asker
10 mo
Xyz are the insignificant things he wants and doesn't need. we sat down and challenged ourselves to only spend money on what we need! And to put money from our checks aside for ourselves
So does that go for you as well. No makeup? Things you don’t need? What exactly are these things he doesn’t need? How much money have the two of you decided to put away each check? Estimated how much would you say your total income is combined? How much are bills?
Yes that goes for me too. Things he didn't need like alcohol, snacks, lunch at work (I'm packing his lunch now) as of right now we are doing 100 weekly.
That’s not bad, $800 a month in bills. Mine is about $1600. That’s good though putting some away regardless of how little it is. Yes definitely don’t need alcohol. Taking food from home is always a good idea. I tend to eat out a lot. One month I calculated how much I spent on food in a month eating out. Totaled almost $1200. What about some OT? Is that an option for either of you or picking up a part-time job.
So why not work full-time till you get accepted into an RN program? You don’t have kids I assume so you have plenty of time to work full-time. I’m usually up 16 hours a day to do what I need to do. As I sit here typing this message I’m currently working OT.
Ok. So I’m guessing between the both of you, you pull in 5-6000 a month. There’s no reason why neither of you can’t have your little needs once in a while. I honestly don’t see why he couldn’t get a bottle of something for $20 w that type of income. It’s just that the two of you aren’t working together to manage it. I don’t know if this is you or not but a lot of women don’t like sharing their resources w men, most women are the opposite. That’s why we usually don’t care how much women make or if she works at McDonalds or something. Honestly do you feel this way? Sure ok you may get him something once in a while but do you feel like that’s your money. Well I guess in a way you do. When you say you don’t pay bills, as I should. What does that mean? You saying you shouldn’t have to pay the bills?
So to me it sounds like although both of you may have your issues w managing money, you’re more so not willing to make it work together. Why are women like this? Why do you feel like you shouldn’t pay bills?
Ok if he says that I get it. You just made it sound like you shouldn’t. I think w that said he has no real reason to really complain if he chose to take on that responsibility. So may I ask exactly what do you spend your money on if you don’t pay bills but you pull in almost $2000 a mo th w nothing to really show for it.
SSI only cuts out if you make more monthly than it pays. So if you work more, you lose SSI, but you make more than you did if you kept SSI. I was on SSI and then got a job paying $20.08/hr full time. My SSI was terminated as soon as I got my first paycheck.
Y'all need to be worried about money management habits long before worrying about how you look to mfs at a register, 'cause they aren't the pinnacle of good life choices to be concerning yourselves with period.
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