Guys, Male GAGers need to do a better job at calling out true toxic male behavior and supporting women who need advice/assistance?

[blueonblack22]

Admittedly I have often been harshly critical of modern feminism and general toxic modern female behavior on GAG.

I know women complain often about all negative male “incel” behavior on here. But the one main reasons you see so many guys acting this way is because we can’t complain about these issues publicly and not risk losing face. It’s the one safe place we can ventilate.

However I occasionally come across women on here who are facing legitimate problems with toxic male bs. It’s easy to assume “well you are attracted to assholes so it’s on you” but it’s not always the case. Women do get roped into abusive situations they don’t know how to handle it. The writing isn’t always on the wall.

There really are sociopathic assholes out there who are experts on putting on false fronts. Most of us guys can see through that bs quite easily from the outside. But similar to how we have been emotionally manipulated by women (and didn’t realize until it was too late) I can see how women fall victim to this trap.

I think we can do a better job at supporting women in these situations to make better decisions. Give women better constructive criticism. But I have seen a guys leave asshole posts when this happens. Let’s get away from that. Encourage the girl not to tolerate legitimate bs.

Also if you see a girl on here with an attractive profile pic don’t waste your time hitting on her. Sure a compliment or two (clean one) is fine. But women on here get a lot of inappropriate, aggressive and creepy comments to them all the time. Let’s get away from that bs and call out anyone else who is doing it.

I know some people do ultimately connect offline. But it’s highly doubtful you will get a fast hook up on here (plus the girl probably lives hundreds and thousands miles away. Expensive trip).

It’s one thing if you build up a legitimate connection. Quite another if start off with that crap. We can do a better job at calling guys on that crap (when it’s confirmed and legitimate).

Updates

7 mo

I have been on and off GAG for 12 years. I get sick of it occasionally. Delete my account and come back as someone else. But most of my posts have been careful did logically and cogently criticize “modern” female behavior. Never in my life been accused of been accused of “secretly being a woman” or some white knight garbage. I especially hate the latter.

Updates

7 mo

But the point I am trying to make is we can’t have trash on our side of the street EVEN if the other side is consistently much worse. We got to be more tidy. It’s not fair but still can’t have chinks in our armor.

[Yannae]

My first day and you're already sending me on a mission. But I accept, boss. Do you always write like this? It was truly a fun read and you already gave me a teaser on what to expect here. I'll do my best to follow in your footsteps.
But ShadowYamihiro raised a valid point there. Would you be comfortable addressing the toxic female GAGers as well on this matter? So both groups work together on making this a better place.

[ShadowYamihiro]

thanks and welcome to the site. Its good site and has people who ask nonsense but also has very smart people asking serious question and looking for serious answers. It has everything for everyone, hope you will enjoy it here.

[Yannae]

@ShadowYamihiro This question was good introduction, I must say! Thanks for the welcome. I'll be looking forward to the serious topics.

[blueonblack22]

Just FYI I am definitely no white knight. But my analogy is we need to tidy up our side of the street even if the other side is dirtier by comparison. We can’t ignore our own messes.

Let’s do the following:

1. Be patient when a woman shares a problem she has with a man. Ask questions first and get all the details. If she brought this upon herself then provide CONSTRUCTIVE criticism on how to improve. Stay away from generalizations.

2. Just ignore posts where women put up suggestive pics. If you have to comment tell them they are getting empty calories with virtual comments.

3. Let’s quit throwing each other under the bus. If you see a guy writing about his insecurities then quit calling him a pussy like that will magically improve his situation. Give him TOUGH love. That is tell him the hard truth but be considerate of what he is going through.

[Yannae]

This feeling. We're so united right now.

[blueonblack22]

💯💯💯

[Yannae]

I'm starting to see glimpses of it here and there. Blind generalizing towards the other gender.

[Yannae]

Update it's harder than I thought

[blueonblack22]

Yep welcome to GAG. It’s easy to get “sucked in” here. While it’s sometimes healthy to ventilate you have to be careful about going down incel lane. Misery loves company. There are also some horrible ass women on here that couldn’t be straightened out with a crowbar.

My advice is take everything with a grain of salt. Given people can be anon you think they would be more genuine. But even being anonymous people are disingenuous. .

[TipsyFr]

Absolutely in contrast some guys are ducks and don’t even realize how scummy they are, as guys we can call out the duckness from the "same side" I feel like the effect resonates better ✌️

[blueonblack22]

Just as long we aren’t calling them out to “impress” women. Some guys pull white knight bs when they deep down know the guy isn’t really a bad guy but they know it will impress a girl. Worst form of betrayal.

But true dbags should be called out.

[TipsyFr]

Yeah you call someone out because you think what they’re doing isn’t right not to look cool

[TipsyFr]

On a side note what your saying just gave me a thought. women defend each other quite easily on this site. I feel in the same sense sometimes there are women who also acts like dbags and because as men we don’t stick up for eachother we get the brunt of it. As men we should call out other guys but also defend our own when women call them out unjustly or just act like sasmols Maybe I’m thinking to much into it but, hopefully you get what I mean. ✌️

[blueonblack22]

^^^ very true. I notice when women smack men with cheap shot bs it’s usually a on the poor guy to defend himself while other guys stand idly by. We know how to argue logically too and realize if the woman is fighting fair or not.

I notice women on here (and some dbag guys) try to twist debates by poisoning the well. They will try to point a personal flaw in the guy (of girl) to invalidate their position. Guys need to defend each other when that happens. Even if we disagree with other guys stance it’s not fair he gets torpedoed with cheap shot bs.

[ShadowYamihiro]

You are right in a way, guys do act like pigs many times and as someone of the same sex i find it completely disgusting and ofc those who truly ask real questions and looking for real serious answers do need help in ways to prevents trolls from giving them wrong idea and/or insulting them with their so called macho bs. But this site also need to do the same for us guys as well, you have girls who are trolls and those who misuse this site, just yesterday i got blocked by a use cuz i called her out on what she was doing. she asked opinion on her clothes but what she really did was showing off and posting pics of her ''looks'' and her behind, wanting attention and ofc so many are falling for it, i didn't got blocked but later saw her new post (can see them but can't reply to them) she was asking for opinion on her top while literally showing her breast intentionally but smart enough to not show nipple to be banned (if that is a thing here). That was just an example, there are definitely more guys here who don't deserve to be here cuz they only do harm to others but the site needs to be equal, i don't care about feminism cuz i think its doesn't want to make genders equal but superior in many ways, although its not really feminists fault for that, cause they want equality, its the fault of some many girls who use the word feminism as excuse to belittle men. That is why i am what i call an equalist. True equal rights and equal treatment for ALL genders.

Anyway sorry for this long opinion, you post it completely right but it kinda 1 sides towards the girls only, and like i said there are more terrible guys here than girls, that is definitely true so with that in mind you post is completely true.

[blueonblack22]

Oh I have complained about toxic female behavior quite extensively on here for a very long time. So this side of me that people don’t see often on here. But I am being genuine on my thoughts above.

But every time there is one guy being dbag it gives at least three women an excuse to be dbags themselves. We can’t have that. It gives fuel to the fodder.

Let’s clean up our side of the road first EVEN if the other side is already messier than ours. We need to keep our side as tidy as possible.

[ShadowYamihiro]

that is where you are quite wrong, you can blame guys bad behaviour for girls bad attitude. Those mature will ignore the trolls and think with their own brain and see who is writing genuinely, saying its our fault for their behaviour is just justifying them. Perhaps we simply have different ideas and opinions on this. Its not a debate and we all have freedom to express our opinion (as long as its not toxic ones like you mention). I apologize if i insulted you or seemed arrogant, was not my intention at all but it may have ended up like i t was. I apologize if was i wrote offended you or ruined this post. I really am sorry

[blueonblack22]

@ShadowYamihiro yes women often self justify mistreating innocent men because an unrelated man mistreated them earlier in their lives. It’s bs adolescent mental reasoning and it’s got to stop. I also the entire modern feminism movement is based on that crap along with entitlement and greed.

With that said us guys can NOT give up doing what’s right. Even when it isn’t fair (and I agree it’s not).

Personally I feel into a lot of self destructive vices in the last few years due to my deep depression over how several women have treated me in the past. However I know better it was my own damn fault to make those bad decisions. I own up to them.

We still got to lead by examples

[ShadowYamihiro]

@blueonblack22
with everything you just said i completely agree. Someone has to start to try and improve so others can follow, doing nothing changes nothing

[blueonblack22]

Sometimes we got to ventilate. I get that. But it really changes nothing.

We got to be more mindful and optimistic. Slower to judge until we get all the details.

[Anonymous]

While this a woman masquerading as a man (funny how people don't acknowledge that this is a thing and here's your proof), you DO make good points. But, here's the problem with your post. It's a nice thought. Guys are natural problem solvers (it's how we built civilization). But most the women on this site do NOT want a problem solved. Most on here want a yes man, they want you to just give them the answer they want to hear. You can't build a level house on a crooked foundation and unfortunately that's what a majority of these women are doing. Fixing your problems STARTS with taking the responsibility for the role YOU played in them. Yes you're right there are some guys out there who are sociopaths... so why does she stay with him? Better yet why did she choose him in the first place?

Here's the thing you need to ACCEPT. Many of the women on this site are simply BEYOND help. I'll ALWAYS try to help a woman out (if I can). But if it's pretty clear she's just full of toxicity I'm not going to waste my time

What would help things, and you can take this back to you sisters at thier honeycomb hideout is, how about the GOOD women calling out the bad women? How about women calling out other women's toxic behaviour when they see it rather than trying to justify it.

[blueonblack22]

I get what you are saying above. Many of these women are completely tone deaf to any common sense.

But I swear all it takes is just one dbag guy for them to use as an example. There could be 99 decent guys they encounter in a week and one dbag and they will FIXATE on the dbag as anecdotal example.

Just saying we have to give them fewer and fewer reasons to do that. Yes it’s not fair but still.

This is a very rare post for me by the way. Very rare. But I have been more intro prospective lately.

[Opinion Owner]

Well that's why I say "you do make good points". Whether you are a man or a woman is irrelevant. Good words are good words and positivity is always good! Despite my sobering post I am a positive person. I've said repeatedly on here if more men would be MEN this problem would largely fix itself. So I do support what you say.

[blueonblack22]

Well guys are being brainwashed and misled. Also guys shit on each other to get “one up” points (to ironically impress women) all the time.

There needs to be more tough love all the way around. The key to tough love is it’s STILL love. The person delivering it isn’t enjoying it. If they do their just a bully. Nah it’s telling someone the hard truth while being considerate of what they are dealing with.

I’ve seen a lot of guys just tell other guys “oh grow a pair you pussy” like that’s going to magically solve everything. Instead say “well that’s a weak ass approach but instead I recommend you do this and you do that and this is why.”

There is not enough of that tough guy encouragement.

[blueonblack22]

Or should I say THOUGHTFUL tough guy encouragement. That is possible.

[Anonymous]

Jesus fucking Christ, where have all the females with blue GAG accounts come from? They are taking over GAG.

[blueonblack22]

Dude. For the last 2 weeks I’ve had some radical feminist teaming up with her buddies to take down any post that criticized modern feminist bs.

She got called out on it. And I stand with my earlier criticisms. But I had to take pause for a moment. Truth is over 80% of my posts have been critical of women. That doesn’t mean I’m wrong. But I can’t ignore their issues (if and only if they are legitimate) when they happen. I do know many of them complain about meaningless and/or exaggerated issues. But not all of them.