Why would a man threaten to break up every week and consistently ghost his girl?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend of over a year has been doing this pretty much since we first started hanging out. But it’s been getting worse lately and I’m not quite sure why.

I initially thought that he was schizophrenic when we first started hanging out, but now I believe he’s either suffering from narcissism or possibly BPD. He fits a lot of the criteria for both of those, but that’s neither here nor there at this point.

he will get pissed off over the tiniest thing, often times it’s something that’s not even true and just something he’s imagined in his head. He’s always thinking that I am the biggest ho in the county and that I’m cheating on him with a dozen guys at the same time.

but I am devoted to him moreso than I should be, considering how he treats me. But at least once a week now he will threaten to break up with me and call me every bad name he can think of and tell me to go enjoy f*cking all the d*cks. Sometimes he threatens to block me. I’m not sure if he actually has this time. But he’ll ghost me anywhere from a day to a week to a month and then he’ll come back and act like nothing ever happened.

[_Maya_]

He is doing it because when things just go well he gets bored most likely and needs some "excitement" in the relationship. I know that sounds really weird that it would be exciting but it seems he is the type that if there is complacency then he is not happy. That is toxic as hell and I would not put up with someone nitpicking every little thing to find something to fight about. I would be out of there instantly once I saw that pattern develop. More power to you for putting up with it but it isn't going to change I don't think. Only get worse.

[_Maya_]

Thank you for most helpful opinion!

[provokeesmokee]

Stop trying to diagnose him. He's probably just being an idiot emotionally stunted boy.

Why are you even tolerating this?

[OfMiceandMen]

I think some guys feel as though they have to have drama in their relationships to keep it "alive" and not boring.

Not sure why some girls put up with it. Seems pretty immature to me and it shows they don't respect the girl.

[Asker]

I think that’s true even though he’s constantly telling me that he hates negativity and hates drama and yet he’s always the one initiating it. I will go over to his house in a perfectly good mood and try to be silly and goofy with him and he will start instigating stuff and twisting my words around to start a fight and then, when I try to defend myself, he tells me that I’m the one starting shit.

[OfMiceandMen]

I just could not be with someone like that, who wants to make mountains out of mole hills. It would be a waste of my time. Would it not be more fun to hang out, share a laugh or two and make it a positive experience?

[Yannae]

Very toxic behavior. Some textbook manipulation. Why haven't you ended things with this man? You deserve better than this.

[Ironic_Method]

... why are you still with this person?

[Asker]

Low self-esteem, I guess. Plus it’s not like I have guys lining up to date me. I can’t be picky and loneliness is super depressing. He’s really the only person that I hang out with other than my parents. I have no other friends.

[Ironic_Method]

Loneliness is tough for sure. Making friends is hard outside of school, but I'm sure you can find something to do to put yourself out there. Having someone that treats you poorly might be better than loneliness but that's been going on too long for you to put up with.