Is he ghosting me? or is he just busy?

[Anonymous]

I’ve been seeing this guy for about 6 months and recently it feels like he’s starting to pull away. There was talk of dating a little over the past few months but never fully went deep into that talk. We’ve texted almost every single day since March especially when he went to his football camp before going back to school but we’ve been back for about 2 weeks and I’ve only seen him 3 times and each time it was mostly just sex and then hanging out for an hour before he said he had to leave, (usually because it was late at night and he had to be up early for football). We hung out almost every day this summer and there never really seemed to be a dim moment between us. A few days ago I asked him if he we could be fully exclusive and he said we basically already ate and it’s not changing anything for him but he’s not going to be very available which seemed reasonable because he has football all the time and a super hard major but he stopped answering my texts about a day ago. He’s been super stressed out about school and football and hasn’t really been himself but we still Snapchat all the time and I’m still his #1 on snap but we don’t talk, should I reach out again and ask how he’s doing? Am I over thinking this? Or is he ghosting me?

[_Maya_]

Yeah that's overthinking it for sure. He even told you straight up he wasn't going to be as available once school starts. Why are you doubting him and coming up with reasons that he is getting distant? To me that's crazy. You need to trust he is busy and not worry about it. How can someone ghost you if they still are talking to you too? I don't get that. If he is stressed from school and football give him some space to get comfortable with the schedule. That comes in time and he'll appreciate the space.

[Asker]

he’s only snapping me pictures not actively having any conversations, he’s also been at school since the beginning of August playing football (school did only start for him about a week ago so he gets a pass but it’s only syllabus week). I saw him on Saturday at the bar but he didn’t tell me he was going. it took me asking him if he was going for me to find out and when I said so was I he only said “oh cool”. he did ask me where I was once we were both at the bar but then once I found him he didn’t act the way he normally acts and made me go outside with him and one of his friends and then he kept saying his stomach hurt. He kissed me a few times but I think that’s because I kissed him but then wouldn’t kiss me goodbye? He wouldn’t even hug me when I saw him. and I haven’t heard much from him since that night other than a few texts on Sunday about his friend getting into a fight.

[_Maya_]

Okay so couple things. He did tell you he wasn't going to be as available. That's the most important thing. Second is if he is stressed he may not even be thinking about hugs and kisses and stuff. He might be legit stressed and maybe even depressed.

[Asker]

that totally might be it, that would explain why he’s been kinda off and he also is 4th string quarterback so he doesn’t really play which I know annoys him. But if he was super stressed why would he be at the bar? Also is him being stressed an excuse for him not to tell me he’s going or ask me if he’s going? And wouldn’t be still be able to text me? The not texting me thing is throwing me off. He can totally be stressed and I’m okay with not seeing him for a while if he needs to focus on school and football but I still want him to text me every once in a while, and our last text ended in the middle of a conversation a day ago

[_Maya_]

I'm a bartender other than going to school. I see plenty of stressed people come in to drink.

[Anonymous]

Snapchat is meaningless spyware so he could be and you wouldn't know the difference anyway.

[In_Trance]

Why don't you just ask him how busy he actually is?

[strateguy632]

you snapchat so definitely not ghosting just busy

[Anonymous]

Looks like he’s pretty busy to me, but he still has time to make for you. You have to work this out with him.