What should I do about my Boyfriend who seems to only focus on his uni work while I'm lying in hospital with a kidney infection?

[esmxerose]

I'm currently lying in hospital with a kidney infection, I had to stay over night and it was terrifying. I hoped he would come straight to me in the morning but he's just working on his university work at home. he seems to prioritising his own work and self over me being in pain and sick in hospital. I'm really upset about it and don't even know what to say to him now because I feel very hospital depressed, lonely and frustrated yet he's sorting his own stuff out. he visited yesterday 3 and a half hours later than he said he was going to. during that time he was visiting me he just spoke to me about how much work he has to do and will be busy but it still concerned for my condition but then left after an hour because of closing visiting hours. I feel like he's only focusing on himself despite me being very sick right now. I feel so uncared for. I don't know what to do. help :(

[Drumlin2001]

I can appreciate its not nice being in hospital but there's not really much he can do for you. If he has work to do, and not doing it will affect his degree it makes sense to focus in that, that's his life's future. No offense but it's probably 50/50 wether you guys ares still together in 3 years.

[Anonymous]

Sounds so awful but he is working providing which is what guys are for!

You can work and need money for your stuff and stay!

But imagine if you married him a nd he just focused on work!

He cares he came over some guys won't even visit!

Your feeling so bad don't make any big choices till latter! See if he will get better or just forget you at the hospital

[JoannaSmith36]

Prove that you are not as good as his work in his heart, break up with him decisively, and find a boyfriend who will hold you in his hands.

[OlderAndWiser]

Of course you know what to do; you just don't want to accept it. This is a sign of what lies ahead if you stay with him, and you find this intolerable, so there is only one thing you can do. . . right?

[esmxerose]

isn't talking to him first okay? he's such a workaholic does he even realise how he's making me feel?

[OlderAndWiser]

What will you accomplish by talking? You think a talk will turn him into an attentive boyfriend?

[djmzes]

You know it but you do not want to do it because you are scared of the consequences

[msc545]

His world doesn't stop because you are ill. Respect the fact that that includes his work obligations.

[In_Trance]

The issue is both of you. Have you talked to him about it?

[esmxerose]

no, in writing how to say things in my notes now, but I'm just upset he seems to be focusing on himself and his work. shouldn't it be an automatic thing if your partner is in sick in hospital to go to them?

[In_Trance]

not the case.
maybe he doesn't understand the severity of it? Maybe he doesn't know what your expectation was?
you need to clearly communicate expectations if they exist people are not mind readers

the other issue is your expectation. sure, in your mind it's "automatic", but not everyone sees it the way you do, nor will they act that way. That doesn't mean they don't care; the attachment style is different.

[Anonymous]

I am very glad to hear that this guy is not throwing his future away for a whining child.

[Anonymous]

Dump him