Im worried a couple of the older men at work have a thing for me?

[Puppystarfish23]

There's 2 men in question.

Basically will start of Jamie T I believe he's in his mid 30s he's your typical Rugby fan, used to party a lot in his younger years. he unfortunately lost a lot due to a Rugby injury that caused him to have Epilepsy now he can't drive, drink etc.

He opened up about his epilepsy to me as we were both waiting for a meetings at work about are health situations as I also have a serious health problem in my life and I also have had a couple friends with epilepsy so I really simplified towards him.

Ever since he looks out for me at work when I'm not well but recently his behaviour from me has been kinda strange. I was working near him and he told me but I smelt amazing. I was kinda took back by the compliment as kinda strange one but I just said thanks and took it as him just being nice.

When he found out I got promoted at work he gave me a big hug which was strange because he's like 6ft5 and I'm 5ft and were very British lol we don't hug are co workers.

Now he's always looking for ways to touch me like putting his arm around me act and talks to me. We got the bus home together from work and he wouldn't stop looking at me too.

Then theirs Jamie R, jamie r is in his mid 40s and has two children 21 and 6 years old and is also a grandad. I'm good friends with his son even if his son is a total train wreck. It all started as a joke but I had a thing with Jamie R as I said the biscuits he was eating looked nice and his son told everyone I said his dad looked nice eating biscuits and now everything at work jokes but I have a fetish for my mates dad (jamie r) eating biscuits at first jamie r was super pissed at his son for making this joke up at work as was I. But over time we've learnt to laugh about it.

Now jamie r is always telling me giving me compliments. Jamie r has a a lot of power at the company and whenever I have a issue at work he fixes it ASAP.

Updates

6 mo

by the way I'm engaged and I have no interest in either of these men at all I'm just a friendly Co worker who seems to be very popular at work which I don't understand why

[DannyUk2017]

If that's you in the picture, then i might "explain it", and you know what i mean, always there is that "one old man" that "likes" the baby face doll look face", so yeah, sounds like they are after you. Just give them time and if it continues, then you know for sure, that they'll like a fling with you. 🤷‍♂️

[Puppystarfish23]

It's not just them either there's a manger whose invited me to his farm and another one who waits outside work with me when its dark to make sure I get home safe.

I've came from the city and back were I lived before I moved people weren't nice to me all and I got treated like I was a street rat or something by people so I'm not used to people being kind and showing a genuine care and interest in me

[DannyUk2017]

Well you have to get used to it, as maybe is geniune concern and nothing else, i know the feeling, that's why i am an introvert, i tend to fix issues myself and not ask for help, and when i get help feels out of the context, i feel like i Owe everybody, which is a way of Staying out of Social life.

[Friendlybro79]

What are you exactly worried about? Are you worried you're being sexually harassed or that you might have to just say something to stop all the attention and physical touching?

If you don't like this attention and feel like it's unprofessional you have a few options. Tell them to stop. If they don't then go to human resources or equivalent in your organization.

If you're uncomfortable with going directly to them then right to HR you go.

If you're not sure you're being harassed or worried it will escalate then you need to be more direct and say please don't hug me and don't touch me it makes me uncomfortable.

Telling us how much attention men give you at work isn't going to change anything if you want change to happen. You're old enough to know that you don't have to tolerate being flirted with and touched at work.

[Puppystarfish23]

I have told then to stop touching me but they just think I'm messing around with them. I know they mean no harm so I wouldn't get HR involved it's just awkward and uncomfortable especially given the fact one of these men is a close friends dad. I'm just worried about them making a stupid mistake

[Friendlybro79]

I'm confused by how many women feel like it's their responsibility to keep men like this from getting in trouble. Also tell your Dad to handle it then. If you can't do that then at some point you're going to have to buck up and be an adult and tell them stop in a serious tone and get HR involved. You should not be concerned about them when they don't take you seriously and make you uncomfortable.

[Billlewis]

Trust me on this -- any time an older guy (or a couple of older guys) that you work with or see regularly have a crush on you, just tease the hell out of them every time you see them, and laugh at their attempts to date or spend time with you. Eventually, they'll get the message and they'll appreciate the prick teasing.

[Shy_Steve]

Odviously they find you Attractive.

Talk to your Fiance about it and see what he suggests.

Maybe you could try looking for a job where that is unlikely to happen.

You could talk to the department that handles Workplace Sexual Discrimination.

[BLP11520]

I think their thing for you is mild. Not a big deal at all.

[Puppystarfish23]

I cut out a lot of other details because of the word limit

[BLP11520]

Ok, you will be alright

[OddBeMe]

Just don’t egg them on. Some women like the attention and thus make it harder.

[Willlovewinintheend]

I am not reading all of that.

[Puppystarfish23]

Good for you then

[Masterodd]

So whats wrong with people liking you?

[Jdodkfndosn]

She feels she has to say it like that because she'll be seen in negative light if she says, "🥰🥰These older men like me at work!!🥰🥰🥰"

[Masterodd]

@Jdodkfndosn Jesus H christ... why can't women just be happy the men notice them and like them... NOT ALL MEN are pervs... I wish they would stop treating us like we are all BAD!!

[Puppystarfish23]

@Jdodkfndosn for your information actually I'm talking about my friends dad who happens to be a married man who I work with whose very powerful at my work that's why I say I'm worried. The other guy also has a lot of power at work too. I don't want them to do something stupid because it's already happened to one girl at my work with another older male co worker who actually been to prison before for doing something of a similar nature in the past but all the mangers are protecting him and nothing has been done.

It's so easy for you men to criticize, play victim and make Saki comments but you will never understand the fear us woman feel at times so you can stick your rude comments up your arse for all I care. You are the reason men get such a bad name

[Masterodd]

Why are you living in fear? what has happened to you to feel this way?
absolutely we can criticize because we are normal and we know, we are no threat to you...
Your statement suggests ALL of us are stalkers and kidnappers... that's like men saying "I hate women, because all women cheat and lie... when in fact only the women that person has been around was a liar and a cheater... not all women are bad an evil.

[shades777]

whats the problem?