Help me I'm in love but I've messed up

Ok so first things first I've never cheated,and I've never had a crush on another guy while going out with him

I'm still in love with my ex-boyfriends and I want him back but I'm think he might hate me because I've dumped him three times and he's never dumped me.i mess up a lot but I know I love him I recently went and seen my school councilor about it and he said maybe your doing it because you don't think you deserve him and I think it's kinda true I want to talk to him about it but he's really stubborn.

He's a sweet guy but I've played around with his heart a lot :( what should I do to get him back! I invited him to a party I'm throwing do you think I should talk to him then..?
Help me I'm in love but I've messed up
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