Ever notice and wonder why men who don't desire relationships are often the nicest men, which causes you to still lust after them?

Question

It's so annoying, as you can see that they would make such good boyfriends/husbands, in that they're always looking out for people's needs and have such a nurturing streak. They're also extremely neat and tidy in their house 🏠. Like, literally all the things that women complain about their husbands, these guys portray themselves as though they wouldn't trigger women in those same ways, so I just want to shake these men and tell them that they have nothing to fear about relationships.

Paul_in_Indy · Accepted Answer

I think this is, more or less, me. The fact is that women are comfortable with me, willing to flirt with me, not afraid to come home with me, and usually let me take them to bed. I find that if I have my life together, I’m kind and understanding, and I treat women well, I have many options for companionship, for the excitement of new connections, and for physical intimacy.

I don’t feel that I need to grab hold of the girl who is willing to let me get close and never let her go. It doesn’t feel like I have to settle down in a relationship. That FOMO element that drives someone to lock her down before I lose her just isn’t there.

So, it’s easy to remember the negative elements of long term relationships—the fear of loss and pain and disappointment—and stick with the constant excitement and possibility and fearless adventure of an always-new connection.

I don’t know if that makes sense. I think that lots of nice, put-together guys pursue casual relationships NOT to use women, but to enjoy that spark and excitement with as many interesting people as possible…because it seems like we can.

and, honestly, how many people latch onto a relationship because they are afraid to be without intimacy? I find that if I am (I don’t think about it this way, but going with your description) the perfect guy for a relationship that I don’t lack for physical intimacy.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Yeah it's funny though you don't realize all the women these men have seen in there life. You might take this as a slight, and it's not. But if you do there's nothing I can do about it. By the time you get to this age you're just tired of women's games. I meet most women today that 20 years ago wouldn't even have talked to me. And they want to date me. And all I can think is, "why"? I mean i can't undo the damage of 20yrs. Of other guys. I don't need you comparing me to 20 years. Of other guys. I'm happy now. What does she bring to my life that I don't already have? What does she bring that it's worth complicating my life for. Now I KNOW I've already pissed off half the women reading this. But that's my point. It's not just about you. You have to give to get in life and there reaches a point where a guy has lived without female companionship it's just not necessary to him anymore.

Holsen · Answer

Yep I’m like that and not like that at the same time so I can relate to that! Well it’s not like all fear relationships, personally I just take it slow as I don’t just want a successful relationship with a woman but instead I want a successful bond with a woman and that would most certainly result in a successful relationship but even then there’s a difference in them, plus I want to find the one for me and I just think that if I would be more open then I would probably be in a relationship or would have been in multiple relationships in wich there’s always a possibility that you will stumble upon the someone really important and if you’re in a normal relationship you don’t even have a reason to stop that just because you are feeling something stronger for someone as it wouldn’t be fair so to prevent that from happening I tend to be more secluded or picky about relationships or a relationship!!

BoopBoopBeep · Answer

Well I can't speak for everyone, but I'm not afraid of them, I just haven't found many lately that I considered high enough caliber to really entertain that possibility. Now personally, I actually really like relationships when they're 2 people who actively seek to bring something to the table. If you don't want to bring anything to the table though, I'm not going to entertain it, and if I'm not sure how MUCH you bring to the table, I'm only so willing to explore that.

MiddleAgedClimbee · Answer

Men who are nurturers, and neat and tidy, maybe that way due to their upbringing, and perhaps because of previous failed relationships in which their character flaws made the relationship impossible. They are trying to change what they can, or have some degree of control over their happiness, and cleanliness and nurturing happen to be where they are focusing their energy.

Nifrayu · Answer

Usually these men have already been hurt in relationships that they are just happier alone. Or they have been rejected too many times that they get discouraged from approaching women. Or they are like me and they were never comfortable being the one to approach in the first place and are waiting for women to make the first move.

FunkyMonkee · Answer

No, I haven't! I'm one of the nicest guys you'd ever wanna meet but I desire a relationship and can't scare one up lest I walk around with a fist full of thousand dollar bills in my hands at all times but, who wants a relationship like that? Certainly not me!!

AviatorTom · Answer

If a guy doesn't want a relationship, he is probably looking for girls who lust after him, so you would be playing right into his hands.

Anonymous · Answer

As one of those men, I've had relationships in the past entirely submissively

I'm an asexual workaholic with a fear of MeToo as a whole thing to ice the cake by the nature of my business I am jaded about marriage and as a final cherry on top my frankly fucked genetics mean as a responsible person I shouldn't even fathom having kids

kylee2437 · Answer

It’s because you want something you can’t have. Once those guys feel out of their element, they no longer show those sexy sides that you were attracted to.

devilish-cutie · Answer

thats fake front, something is definitely wrong w them, i would never understand someone who doesn't desire relationship, that is basic human need

DarkWinterNights · Answer

The real question is, do these types of men just avoid relationships? Or do women turn men like this into the husbands they dislike and complain about?

Redstang88 · Answer

Nah, guys only get that way because we’ve been burned and have damn good reason to be hesitant with relationships

MysticDevice · Answer

Unfortunately most of those guys have been played and catfished so many times that they've finally given up.

DiegoO · Answer

The day I ended my previous romantic relationship, I gain back my sanity. I am well by myself.

The-Stud · Answer

Try approaching them first, they are probably not scared of relationships like you think

Djaay · Answer

Ever noticed all the stupid idiots women end up going with?

Billlewis · Answer

I've actually found it to be the opposite.

loveslongnails · Answer

Can't say I've noticed that.

slatyb · Answer

They are gay.

HouseMoat · Answer

lol, why thank you

mohsinniazi · Answer

What's about me xx

Ever notice and wonder why men who don't desire relationships are often the nicest men, which causes you to still lust after them?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said