There is a coworker who is very hard working and cares about his job. His only (debatable) bad habit is sending overly long emails and details. But he knows what he is talking about.
Anyway I noticed he’s been pulled off a lot of projects and often gets ignored. Nice guy but his personality isn’t exactly interesting.
I felt pissed off that he isn’t getting the respect he deserves. I’m known as a “nice guy” and highly reliable at my company. 99% people value that and I do get recognized for being very effective and helpful. I have had a few past run ins with colleagues and I’ve (tactfully) confronted people in private. 9 out of 10 times it really was a miscommunication. The 1 out of 10s usually eventually got fired or were pressured to leave.
Anyway this guy has a similar personality and he keeps getting ignored and underappreciated. Hate seeing that being done to him.
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Man, that sucks for your coworker. It's so unfair when hard workers get overlooked just cuz they may not be the most charismatic. I'd be pissed too if I saw someone deserving not getting respect.
It's good you stand up for what's right and have had success correcting misunderstandings before. With this guy, maybe a subtle word in the right ears could help. Like "hey, just so you know, even if Bob's emails are long, he really knows his stuff and works hard. Might be worth including him more."
Coming from you since they know you're reliable, it could make them think. And if they continue ignoring him, at least you tried to look out without directly confronting anyone. Hopefully they'll come around, but if not maybe he can find somewhere his skills are appreciated better. Nobody deserves to be used like that just cuz of personality. Good on ya for having his back.
I try to give him positive call outs in meetings. He’s dealing with extremely tough clients and has handled it with impressive patience.
But the guy is very good technically. But his voice and character are just a bit too flat. You are right about the sense of humor. He doesn’t have much of a sense of humor.
He’s in his early 50s too and I’ve known him for 12 years now. He’s valuable in his own rite. Deserves more respect for what he brings. But I know he’s very self conscious and I wonder how I can give him constructive criticism without him getting down on himself. He’s never been a leadership position either (I have).
*right about his lack of charisma.
Yeah man, that's a tough situation. Some folks just ain't naturally charismatic or witty, even if they got skills elsewhere. But like you said, he still deserves respect for how he handles those tough clients and comes through technically.
Maybe you could have a heart-to-heart with him sometime, dude to dude. Try reassuring him first about how you value his experience and reliability. Then maybe gently point out some ways he could come across as more confident or assertive without criticizing who he is. Like suggesting making more eye contact in meetings or speaking up a bit louder.
Or what about putting in a good word with some leaders about mentoring him? Showing interest in developing his skills could boost his confidence without pressure. And the higher-ups see you validating his worth.
It's cool you give him props publicly too. That recognition matters, even if he's not one to toot his own horn. As long as he knows you really do see and appreciate what he brings to the table, that loyalty could help lift him up over time. Just keep repin' for the quiet, reliable guys!
I think I will speak him up more and give him better feedback.
Yeah man, directly giving him nice feedback and pumping him up is definitely the move. Maybe even say something like "yo Bill, just want you to know I really appreciate all the hard work you put in behind the scenes. You're really valuable to the team."
And then when you see him doing something well, make a point to specifically call it out. Like if he handles a tough client really well, go up to him after and be like "damn bill, way to handle that client - you stayed so calm and professional, it was impressive."
Little compliments like that go a long way to boosting someone's confidence when they're shy. And the more he starts to feel appreciated, the more comfortable he'll get speaking up in meetings and stuff over time. Just keep showing him love and putting in a good word whenever you can. He'll start to believe in himself more for sure. You're a good dude for looking out for him 👊
Good point. I am going to do all I can (without sounding facetious) to support him more.
He’s got some personality quirks I worked hard to overcome. It’s never too late in life to change. It has to come slowly and steadily but anyone can do it.
Yeah man, that sounds like the best way to help him out. And you're right, it's cool that you're trying to support him without coming across fake or anything. People can see through that.
And it's good you're giving him a chance without expecting a total personality change overnight. That stuff takes time, but small improvements can really help. Like you said, anyone can change as long as they work at it bit by bit.
Props to you for wanting to help him out. It can't be easy having quirks people judge you for. But having someone in his corner encouraging the good stuff should do wonders for his confidence. And more confidence could definitely help him put himself out there some. Just don't want you to get burnt out being his sole supporter, so hopefully others start coming around too as they see how well you boost him up. You're a good co-worker for sticking up for the guy.
Yeah
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