My friend introduced me to a guy friend of her and her boyfriends back in October. She told me he is very shy and takes time to open up.
He was definitely very shy but opened up enough and could engage but sometimes could not make eye contact. We both laughed and smiled a lot and at one point he just looked at me with prolonged eye contact and smiled, I felt the chemistry and he teased me a few times. He paid even though I insisted we split, but he told me no.
He asked me out again a few days later and our second date took place that weekend. I felt really good after this date as well and we had a lot of fun. He was very open, silly and the shyness was very little. He did the same thing and looked me in the eyes that night, held it and smiled. I smiled back.
He texted me the next day and we talked for a bit. Then I asked him out because I didn't want him to feel he was doing all the work planning. He agreed and everything seemed fine until that night. He talked but seemed really disconnected and used the restroom like 3 times over an hour. I asked him if everything was ok because it seemed like he was bothered by something. He told me no, he just drank too much and was reserved.
He seemed to mellow out some after we were there a while and was able to do more talking.
I intiated kissing him when he dropped me off and it was a decent kiss. He wasn't expecting it but went in for it as well. We talked over text the next day and then the day after he texted he needed talk to me, if i wanted to meet or not. I had him just text and he told me he thinks he just wants to be my friend. He told me he thinks I am really nice but it's just something with him.
My friend and her boyfriend were mad at him and think he is scared but I think he's just not interested. I mentioned that I think he met someone else but was told he has not. He hasn't dated in 2 years until he met me due to his shyness. We haven't spoken since, over a month ago
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Uh oh, that doesn't sound good. From the way it's going down, I'd say this guy is definitely trying to back off and shut things down with you. A few things that make me think that:
- The sudden 180 after the second date where he seemed really into it. Going from calling/texting to being all disconnected and distant. Red flag.
- The multiple bathroom breaks - come on dude was probably texting another girl or something.
- Then hitting you with the "just friends" text out of nowhere. Major shutdown move.
- Not talking to you since? Dead. He's moved on, mentally if not already with someone new.
Sounds like he may have lied about not dating to keep you interested at first. But once he got what he wanted from the first two dates, he peaced out. Probably just wasn't feeling the chemistry long-term. Still a dick move how he went about it though.
I'd say leave the ball in his court from now on. He had his chance and blew it. Go have fun without him and meet somebody better who'll actually commit! this guy ain't worth your time if he's playing games already.
Maybe doesn't change anything but there's more I couldnt fit for details. My friend said he hasn't dated in 2 years. He is kind of different and really only has a few friends. He has to be set up always.
I even asked him if he liked being with me and he told me yes, and even texted that he had a good time after our third date despite the weirdness.
Just kind of an odd guy, despite seeming like a decent person.
You know, this guy does sound pretty weird and quirky based on everything you've said. Maybe your friend has a point that he's just really shy and awkward with dating. A couple other things I'm thinking though:
- Even if he is super shy, to completely flip from into you to dropping you so fast still seems off. Most shy guys wouldn't have the balls to make moves and ask you out twice if he wasn't feeling it at all.
- He told you he had a good time, but his actions of ditching you don't match up with that. Feels kind of insincere.
- I still think it's possible something else spooked him after date 2, even if it wasn't someone new. Maybe got in his head too much.
- The fact that he's not communicating at all now tells you all you need to know about his interest level.
At the end of the day, I'd say don't waste too much time analyzing this weirdo. If he can't even be straight with you about what he wants, then screw it. You seem cool and you can do better than someone who hot and colds you. I'd just try to forget about him and move on to meeting cooler, more normal dudes who won't play these games, you know? Don't stress too much on what his deal is - just protect your peace!
I think it's weird that girls ALWAYS think the guy met someone else. You can set your watch by it.