So there is this married guy at work who shows interest in me not sure what way exactly but he definitely be giving me certain attention unlike other?

[Anonymous]

Anways it was bothering me at first bc he is married and it’s wrong but than I started thinking like what’s the big deal this if we never hang out side of work and I doubt he would so clearly it’s prob not going to lead to anything just he prob wants attention at work and nothing more, do y’all agree that shouldn’t bother me and I should pay no attention bc it’s just at work and he prob is not being serious outside of work and I should just leave and not pay attention to what he trying to do and let it go

[Oliverlogan263]

Luv, I would not mess around with a married guy from work, no matter what. That's just asking for drama and you don't want any part of that. Even if he says it's just attention at work, those lines can get blurred real fast and you don't want to end up in an awkward or compromised position.

This guy is giving you attention 'cause he's trying to get something from you, but as soon as you give in he'll probably lose interest anyway. Don't let anyone treat you like a side piece - you deserve way better than that! Plus if word got around the office about you two, even if nothing happened, it could damage your reputation.

My advice would be to keep it 100% professional with this married dude. Don't flirt back or give him any special treatment. Stay polite but keep your distance. Make it clear you're not interested in crossing any boundaries. If he keeps it up, you might have to tell him directly to back off or report him to HR if things escalate.

Just protect yourself and don't get sucked into this married guy's game. Not worth the risk! You'll find someone way better who isn't messing around on their wife.

[Asker]

Well I try avoiding him as much as I can but for instance like today he was at work and I was sweeping with a coworker he stops by and says oh look at Diana she is actually sweeping and winked at me my coworker was like she always does than later today he was like do
You miss you’re friend she wasn’t here today and than he was passing by and calls out my name is he just being friendly and I’m over thinking?

[Oliverlogan263]

Nah that is definitely not just being friendly. No married guy should be winking at you and making comments like that, especially at work. And calling your name out singled like that is just weird. Even if he says it's harmless, that stuff makes most people uncomfortable. I know it's hard to deal with when it's someone in a position of power over you too. But you don't deserve to feel weird at your job. Next time he says something like that, be direct and just tell him "I'd prefer if you didn't make those kind of comments" or just brush it off like "let's stay professional here". Try to avoid being alone with him as much as you can too. You don't want him to get the wrong idea or try anything. And tell your coworker friend what's up so she can back you up if needed. Don't let this married creep make you question yourself - trust your gut feeling that it ain't right!

[Asker]

Well my coworker was there with me just didn’t see him wink and said there is nothing wrong what he said just wanted to talk

[Asker]

What’s his attention with all those comments?

[Oliverlogan263]

It's kinda hard to say for sure what this dude's intentions are, but from the outside it seems like he's definitely trying to get your attention in a weird way. Even if your coworker didn't notice the wink, the comments he's been making don't really seem like just casual talk either. I mean, pointing out that you're actually sweeping and saying you look nice doing it? That's pushing it already. And then asking if you miss your friend when she's not there - it kinda sounds like he's trying to see if he can get you one-on-one or something.

I'd be suspicious of why some married guy at work needs to single you out for special attention like that. He must realize it makes you a little uncomfortable too, right? I'd bet money he's just trying to feed his ego by messing with one of the younger employees. Or maybe he's got a thing for you and can't help himself even though he knows he shouldn't act on it. Either way, it's creepy behavior and isn't cool that he's putting you in that position at your job.

If I were you, I'd continue to keep my distance as much as possible. And really make it clear to your bosses what's going on, before this clown tries to turn it around on you or something if you have to complain about him. Your coworker might not get it since she's not the one he's zeroing in on, but don't let her convince you it's no big deal when it really is kinda sketchy. Stay sharp around that dude.

[bededazzle]

it kind of depends what he is doing or saying. even if he is single, you are protected from advances that make you uncomfortable at work. anyhow, it's up to you. it depends whether it does bother you. it's not about should or shouldn't.

[Asker]

Like giving me certain attention and wanting my attention etc but like i know he is married but we not and i doubt he will go further than work so should I just let it go

[bededazzle]

well, if it's not overt, it sounds like it's not harassment or anything. if it were me, i would just be kind of cold to him so he would get the point.

[Asker]

Right but so my question is it shouldn’t be a big deal correct it’s just work and we meet all
Kinds of people

[bededazzle]

well, i think that is something personal to your feelings. if you think he's flirting with you, i think it's a big deal if he's married. if you can ignore it, then perhaps it will stop

[Asker]

Okay but even if he is flirting his not taking that outside of work with me so what’s the problem here lol