Why are some people so cynical that real, mature love exists?

[BrightBubblyKat]

I’ve been reading about a lot of cynical men on here (no, not everyone); but enough men to make me wonder. Claiming that no one loves men as much as men love women and saying things like, women are nothing but used goods if we have the gall to live beyond our twenties, that no guy our own age or older would want us? I find it strange and largely untrue.

[ChicoFromThe305]

It's become so uncommon that people lose motivation and just assume it doesn't exist, people know deep down it exists but the chances of them running into the people that match the same views on relationships can be tricky.

[BrightBubblyKat]

Isn’t that partly because they don’t try hard enough, at least in some cases?

[ChicoFromThe305]

Nah, it doesn't matter how much effort you put in cause some people just aren't the material for it, no matter how much effort you put, doesn't mean they will always put theirs, it's more possibility than anything and the possibility of finding the right people are not only slim but good quality is hidden well with the bad which makes it 10x harder.

[ThrillSeeker01]

They haven't had enough of it.

[BrightBubblyKat]

Valid point.

[ThrillSeeker01]

It's their fault. But it's easier for them to blame women for it.

[BrightBubblyKat]

I guess all of us who’ve failed are partly at fault for not meeting the right people, at least for valuing the wrong things when we were younger. But yes, I tend to agree.

[ThrillSeeker01]

Totally true, but there's a difference between not meeting the right people and just not being able to get past a first date.

[BrightBubblyKat]

Yes, that’s true too and I think people are too sensitive about rejection.

[ThrillSeeker01]

Right, too sensitive as in, they can't handle it. So no love, just a lot of hate.

[BrightBubblyKat]

Although it’s easy to feel discouraged sometimes, in the dating game.

[ThrillSeeker01]

Of course, everyone gets turned down or things don't end of working. The trick is just to keep things in perspective. But I agree, it can he hard not to feel discouraged. I've certainly been there.

[BrightBubblyKat]

Yeah. I’ve had guys reject me for being too fat, back when I was fat, I’ve had guys reject me sexually, guys with erectile dysfunction in my life too. Sure, it’s humiliating, but you’ve got to take it in your stride and let it go. Otherwise you set yourself up for failure.

[BrightBubblyKat]

Also, others have the right to reject us.

[ThrillSeeker01]

You sound pretty emotionally mature. 🙂 But all of those situations sound really tough. I'm glad you were able to come through all that. Those guys sound shallow. And it's on the guy if he has ED.

[ThrillSeeker01]

Of course, everyone has that right. Just some people seem to have trouble remembering that, sometimes.

[BrightBubblyKat]

I should be by my mid thirties. Well, yes, I’ve known lots of very silly men. There are lots of them in the world. Just like silly women. Fair enough of the decent ones for whom I just wasn’t their type, though.

[ThrillSeeker01]

Sure, plenty of decent people simply don't connect. Happens plenty. That's life 🙂

[BrightBubblyKat]

I totally agree. I became friends with a guy where there was mutually no physical attraction once. We’re still friends.

[BrightBubblyKat]

We had a blind date. Found we quite liked each other, but our feelings forbade both of us to do more than hug.

[ThrillSeeker01]

That's great that you're still friends. Shows maturity. A fair number of people wouldn't be able to do that.

[BrightBubblyKat]

Neither of us were attracted to each other. We were trying to lie to ourselves.

[BrightBubblyKat]

I’ve had situations where I couldn’t be friends, without wanting more.

[ThrillSeeker01]

Same. I've been there. In those cases, when it doesn't work out, I move on. Our feelings are different for everyone, and sometimes that's the best move, I think.

[BrightBubblyKat]

I agree

[BrightBubblyKat]

Interesting chat 😊

[ThrillSeeker01]

Yes indeed, thanks for sharing 🙂

[BrightBubblyKat]

No worries! Thanks to you, too

[ThrillSeeker01]

Anytime

[BrightBubblyKat]

You sound cool. Would you like to follow each other?

[ThrillSeeker01]

You too. Sure.

[ThrillSeeker01]

Thanks for the MHO. 🙂

[Finchie40]

It mainly stems down from how society is today , with hearing and seeing and reading and experiencing or witnessing , all the nonsense about people betraying each other in relationships people lying to each other, backstabbing each other, cheating on each other , so the foundation of a relationship , sadly isn’t the same as it was before. Because most people have a harder time trusting each other these days , mainly because of all of the nonsense that is filled into our heads. Social media contributed to this dynamic making us people more selfish and more aware of our surroundings , especially when things don’t go our way, instead of fixing what is broken , most people run to someone else hoping that person will save them , mainly because they can’t admit that they were wrong. Most people think they are always right and never admit that they are wrong, so it’s basically their way or no way. Love will never grow with 2 people , that have selfish mindsets, it can be both of you or just one of you , that has a selfish mindset and sadly that’s what causes most relationships to fail. You can’t expect your partner to do for you , if you can’t do for them, it needs to go both ways or that relationship more than likely won’t last. So for any relationship to last , and for love to grow , both people have to give 100 percent to each other as much as possible and make each other their top priority , over everyone else , especially nowadays with everyone of us walking around with a cell phone in our hand , that gives everyone of us , easy access into each others’ lives. Sadly a lot of people have a hard time resisting temptations because of how easy it is to show interest into each other secretly. Girls from my past that I never thought I would see or hear from again , came back into my life , ex girlfriends that I exempted out of my life , tried coming back into my life , trying to apologize for what they did to me , thinking they can have another shot at me , not caring that I was already in a relationship with someone else already So it just goes to show how selfish people can be , we are all faced with choices in life , if you can’t choose your partner , don’t expect them to choose you , you have to be able to give what you want to receive , if you can’t give to someone tat is giving to you , then do not get into a relationship with someone period, because you only cares about yourself and what you receive making you a selfish person Love will not grow that way , it’s ok to admit you are wrong as long as you learn from those mistakes , when you learn to remove selfishness from within yourself , it’s easier to remove selfishness for your partner , and yes your partner should be doing the same for you as well if not, it was nice knowing you , Next
It was nice knowing you

[MissStrawberry912]

It is abit sad and frustrating that some culturals or men looked down on women by a certain age number or finger pointing. But truthfully, the 30s is thriving and beautiful :) Sometimes, they just go through their own defeat of disappointments/rejections and project it upon others. Those feelings are validated, but it doesn’t make it okay to bring one gender down with those negative feelings/experiences…. The world also need more positive men mental health.

[IslaTheWitch]

immaturity, bad experiences, bad patterns from home, or just showing a specific attitude...

There could be plenty of reasons... I try to stay away from such people as far as possible :D

[Nikki1989]

Don't judge the real world by what you see on here. Most men are not as screwed up as some male users of this website.

[HouseMoat]

Because it's hard to find

My parents, have been together, 35+ years happily, while, my dads two sisters, have been divorced (one remarried), and my moms sister has also been divorced (re-married)

[aceleon]

because not all guy lives according to their actual instincts

[WhitneySnow]

I agree. That’s crazy. I know plenty of couples my parents age who are really happy together.

[sheikalana]

Some people just never got to experience real love.

[BLP11520]

There are a lot of women have good quality in their 30s. Lotta men realize that a lot of men are just immature and say things that they should not.

[Ironic_Method]

I'm very cynical, but believe it exists. Most people will simply never experience it. Which sucks.

[DextroShade]

Women are only capable of love if they have a low body count. As most modern women are whores real love has sadly become quite rare.

[BrightBubblyKat]

That’s rubbish. SOME men and SOME women can’t be in relationships because they’re too emotionally damaged, like yourself, to be making such comments.

[DextroShade]

Women most often get damaged by taking too many dicks. I am in a very happy and healthy marriage so I know far more about this subject than you or any other single female for that matter.

[BrightBubblyKat]

Well, I’m in a relationship and all that you’ve said doesn’t apply to me.

[BrightBubblyKat]

and I AM female, but you are not.

[DextroShade]

Irrelevant, men have to understand women to get with them, women don't need to understand men to get with one.

[BrightBubblyKat]

Who can better understand women than a woman? Likewise, who can better understand a man than men?

[whistlingwh0res]

Men are tit suckers