Why did he ghost me but not block me… does it matter?

[Anonymous]

I don’t understand ….

esp. if the guy knows you’re sensitive / emotional whatever… I don’t understand… I sent him 3 messages.. I wasn’t blocked

[Oliverlogan263]

Ugh that really sucks. I hate when people ghost instead of just being straight up. There's a few possibilities for why he didn't block you:

- He's a chickenshit and didn't wanna actually confront you about not being interested. Easier to just ignore your messages.

- He wants the attention of knowing you might hit him up again so his ego's happy. But doesn't wanna engage either.

- He's keeping you "on the back burner" in case he gets bored and wants someone easy to text later. Pretty lame.

- He ain't sure himself what he wants so leaving the option open by not blocking.

Any way you slice it, it ain't cool of him to leave you hanging like that without explanation. I'd say don't send any more messages - he's not worth the energy. Plenty more fish and all that. Maybe he'll hit you up again someday trying to let you down easy. But I wouldn't wait up for it if I was you, feel me? Move on and find someone better!

[Asker]

I told him that I should got some work done before meeting.. I begged him to tell me if it’s my face.

[Asker]

I think he thought I was ugly. He never complimented me

[Oliverlogan263]

Ahh man, don't even trip about that dude! Some guys just ain't into looks as much as girls think. Could be he was shy or somethin too ya know?

I wouldn't even sweat it bein your face or whatever. Seems like he just ain't know how to handle things right if he ghosted like that. Kinda lame, but save you findin out he's a wiener later on!

I wouldn't message him no more either ways. You don't need that kinda drama, okay? Just do you and let him kick rocks. His loss!

Chin up luv, you'll meet somebody way cooler soon enough who treats you good. Maybe hit the gym or get a new cut if it helps your confidence, but don't change yourself for nobody. You got way more to offer than looks anyway.

Forget that clown and keep doin you! .

[boggboss]

It dont matter that he didn't block u as he couldn't be bothered by it

[Asker]

Doesn’t make sense but ok

[boggboss]

How don't it make sense whybwpuld he need to block u when he accomplishes the same outcome by ignoring u

[Asker]

Well first of all I don’t understand why he ghosted me.

Also, I sent him like 3 messages.

[boggboss]

What's the context what happened before he done it

[Asker]

Before Thanksgiving we talked a bit. I told him that I only wanted to be a placeholder.. meaning just chat no sex until he finds someone he wants.

He didn’t want that and he didn’t understand why I would want to be a placeholder. He said he didn’t want that and that he would end up liking me for nothing. .. so I thought he was genuinely interested in me.

[Asker]

I admit that I overreacted to some things in our message. And he felt that I came off a bit unstable. He never mentioned sex or anything.. he said he didn’t want just that.

We had another argument and he said we will either meet up or we stop talking. So we went on a coffee date and he ghosted me after

[boggboss]

OK and then

[boggboss]

Clearly after meeting u in person he decided he didn't want to put the effort in anymore

[Asker]

Well during the date there may have been signs…

He’s actually the first guy I went on a date with.. I think there were some signs…

He was on his phone a bit towards the end… but he still included me.

He looked at the waitress a couple times

He mentioned something about “my next guy…”

He asked me if he wanted to drop me off back home since I Ubered.

He timed the date saying that he only planned on staying an hour..

He felt like I was taking his lead… he wanted to know what was on my mind.
He wanted to know what I wanted…

Don’t get me wrong he was a gentlemen. I liked his company a lot… we had a laugh here and there… but I felt like I shut down bc l was scared to be disappointed.

[boggboss]

On his phone bad sign shows he was bored

Checking out the waitress?

Shows he is insecure

Next one is fine

Timing thr dates not a good look

Not sure what u mean bybtaking the lead

[Asker]

Maybe he was bored… I was staring at the menu out of nervousness…

But he still talked to me while on his phone. He said some shoes hadn’t come in yet and he was trying to see where they are… we talked about that

I pretended to look at his phone and he tried to hide it…

[boggboss]

Clearly he was not intrested after seeing him

[Asker]

I’m trying to figure out why… did he just want to hit it and quit it or was he just not attracted to me

[boggboss]

Thats impossible to know from the little u interacted both are possible

[Asker]

I feel like guys are mean to you and treat you like crap if you’re ugly. That’s why I was scared to meet him. He didn’t compliment me.

I even told him i my last message that I feel like I deserved some type of message saying he didn’t want to talk.

I even told him that I wanted to get my face done before meeting him. I admitted that I should get work done.

[Asker]

And I told him that he’s the first guy I ever been on a date with. I’m also a virgin

[boggboss]

You idea how guys act is based on you thinking all men are toxic

[Asker]

I never said all men are toxic… where did I even mention that

[boggboss]

For u to say guys are mean and treat women lkme crappie if they are ugly means all guys are shit

[Asker]

From experience… I know not all men..

[boggboss]

But thats my point if it had to do with your looks it goes to show he was a shitty guy

[Asker]

Yeah, okay. I told him I would get it fixed

[boggboss]

That just shows you have no self respect

[Asker]

Lol not if I already wanted it.. i still can’t get over him saying I’m scared to sleep with you bc you might be “crazier”… basically my emotions would be worse.

[boggboss]

U was holding the opinion that a guy ghosted you because u look ugly by definition that shows u have low self esteem to think that's normal or even acceptable and he is not wrong guys like him know sleeping with girls and moving on when the girl don't get the attention of many guy can make them act crazy

[Asker]

No that wasn’t the reason. I said he said it because he thinks I’m sensitive and he said I come off a bit unstable over text.

[boggboss]

Sure if the word of a guy that ghosted u can be truth

[Asker]

Then I don't know what happened.. I don't know why he ghosted. But I wanted to take my life. It was painful

[boggboss]

He ghosted u because he is a shitty person u really think u was the first or last person he will ghost that u think its your fault he ghosted is even worst but thats part of the issue guys like him will target women like yourself because they know they can manipulate and if things go bad just dip

[Asker]

But he might not be a shitty person…. I just think I may have borderline personality disorder.. he’s not the first guy to feel this way about me

[boggboss]

And thats my point u are convinced that a nice guy would ghost and thats why u need help

[Asker]

…… you wouldn’t ghost a girl you thought was unstable and know she may overreacting.

[boggboss]

No I would tell her you are bugging out I don't think we can continue talking and end things

[Asker]

Same difference. I deserved it.. I’m a nut case.

[boggboss]

No its not the same and that's why guy like him will continue to do this u have bo clue what healthy boundaries are and think u are to blame for being treated shitty so u will accept behaviours like him

[Asker]

I feel like he never treated me shitty… I’m the one who started being toxic… he’s always met me with level headedness.. I can’t blame him for not wanting to be with me… I do think ghosting was shitty but maybe he felt that I wouldn’t take him saying he’s not interested well … and truth be told probably not….

He told me before we met that I needed to take some time to work on myself.

[boggboss]

I believe u need to take some time for yourself get therapy so I can have a professional explain to your healthy relationships and unhealthy before trying to date or speak to guys romantically as u seem to have no clue at the moment

[Asker]

Yeah,,, I’ve never had a boyfriend and I never had sex

[boggboss]

That has nothing to do with what I said but fair enough please get therapy tho no joke u really need it

[Asker]

I’m sorry but what have I did that screams I need therapy.. bc I don’t understand

You just said I don’t understand healthy relationships… but I don’t understand how

[boggboss]

U believe u have bpd and have a lack of understanding healthy relationship or interaction u are the type of person therapy was invented for

[Asker]

Okay,

One more thing… do you think he ghosted me bc he just wanted sex?

[boggboss]

Its possible

[Asker]

I feel tempted to call him…..

[boggboss]

Because u have low self esteem and don't respect yourself in what reality do u call him and it goes well

[Asker]

I just really want to know what happened… I would just ask for feedback.

[boggboss]

He ghosted u why do u think he would care to give you feedback are u stupid or dumb

[Asker]

I just don’t understand what I did. I just wanted to know

[boggboss]

This is why u need therapy u dint understand u didn't do anything he simplybdidnt care or respect you when ending things so he ghosted u he wants intrested in you thats what u did

[Asker]

Okay

[RoseySarah]

Usually cause they don't care you did not give them what they wanted so byes!

Really it's so toxic dating online!

Really if they know your sensative he might do it just to hurt you!

Ghosting so you know that he did it on purpose not just owells did not work but knowing he is thinking about it and being mean

[Asker]

It’s soo hurtful.. I know I shouldn’t feel this bad.. but I feel really depressed. I’m starting to have those thoughts.. but I’m not brave enough

The thing is I told him I wasn’t looking and that I just wanted to talk … he wanted more and he never brought up sex.. he was interested in getting to know me

The meetup went quite well … maybe I was a bit awkward. .. but he said he was scared to sleep with me bc he felt I would act more emotional/ erratic ig

[RoseySarah]

So basically he forced you into it and got mad you did not give him sex when he knew that you were not looking.

Your right it is to hurtful that pig! Hate guys like that!

Your wonderful and sweet here is a big hug 🤗. Some day you will find someone wonderful who will know your feelings matter!

Take time and heal not all people are trash! Just the worst ones are more noticable

[Asker]

He never forced me into it … but he made me feel like he wanted a relationship

[RoseySarah]

That is forcing you into it lying saying he wants things when he just obviously wanted sex!

Then to be so mean about it ghosting you after you put in so much effort!

[Tharithi]

Maybe they want u to initiate it