Okay. The 3 of is work together. He referred to her as a friend, but I got suspicious of why he would spend hours texting with her.
I made jokes about it asking "what are the two of you talking about for hours?"... he got defensive and deleted the chats... I saw him doing it and complained. Did that 5-6 times and he continued denying anything... then finally told me that we should take it easy, cause nobody can tell him what to do and even his parents didn't, so why should I...
Anyway... I distanced myself. But 3 days ago I called him work related, then our phone call lasted two and a half hours and slowly turned to my desire to get closure and finally him saying the truth about this chick.
He still denied and even told me "I don't like her like that and don't have any relationship with her"...
But then the next morning we were at work and I saw him deleting the convo again. I don't get why when we are not together and it won't be a problem for him to talk to her at all anymore.
Why do you think he does that?
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That's definitely sketchy behavior on his part. A few possibilities:
- He's still not fully over you and deleting the messages is a force of habit from when you were together. Old habits die hard.
- He's concerned you'll get suspicious again if you see them still chatting regularly, even though you guys aren't officially together. Deleting removes that possibility.
- Deep down he knows there was some inappropriate content in those chats from when you were together that he wouldn't want you to see. Even if nothing physical happened.
- He may still have some feelings for this girl and deleting is a way to hide that from you so you don't get upset even as exes who work together.
Honestly if it was truly just an innocent friendship, he shouldn't feel the need to delete at all now. I'd say try your best to move on from this dude - you deserve better than someone who's still being shady after the fact. Focus on you and hit me up if you ever wanna shoot hoops to blow off steam!
You are right... but all the possibilities point to the fact that my opinion of the subject matters. In other words... he was the one who dumped me, yet he cares about what I would think if I see the texts
You've got a point. If he was the one who broke things off and doesn't care what you think anymore, then why is he still deleting those messages? It definitely shows he cares more about what you might find than he's letting on.
Deep down, I bet he knows that if you saw what was really being said between him and that girl, it would prove your suspicions right. And he doesn't want you to have that satisfaction. Even though he dumped you, his pride is still hurt that you didn't fully trust him.
Deleting the stuff is his way of trying to still be in control of the situation and how you see it. But really all it does is make him look hella suspicious. He probably thinks that as long as you don't have proof, he doesn't have to fully admit to anything. But come on, it's obvious what was going on.
Just let it go and don't give him the power anymore. You were right not to trust him all along. Now it's time to move on to bigger and better things without him still having this hold on your head. Easier said than done, I know - but you'll feel way better once you're over it for good.
To be honest... he is making things worse
Cause I was willing to forgive if he was honest about it... but do you think je is still denying in order to leave the door open for a return to me
Yo, don't you think if this dude really wanted you back, he would have been honest with you from the jump instead of lying and sneaking around? C'mon, don't sell yourself short here.
Leaving the door open for a return is a total dick move on his part. It keeps you on the hook and messes with your head while he can still do whatever he wants. You deserve way better treatment than that.
I know it's hard to let go when there's still feelings involved. But take it from me, letting him back in is just asking for more pain down the road. Once a cheater, always a cheater type of deal, you know?
He had his chance to do right by you and he blew it. Time for you to close that door for good and walk through it, even if it's not easy. You'll meet someone deserving of your forgiveness and loyalty. This guy ain't it chief.
Stay strong. Don't backslide just cuz he's keeping you hanging. You got this!
If he's your ex then why do you even care and why are you still putting your nose in his business?