Why is he being like this suddenly?

[Anonymous]

So, there's this guy i started to get to know for around a week and a bit. He seemed interested in me but one night he broke down saying even after 5 months he still wishes to go back to his ex. I tried to not show im upset and gave him advice regarding his issue with her in the past and how he could get her back. Now the next day he still texts me and calls me randomly and he’s changed A LOT exactly overnight and his excuse was ‘how long can i wait for her? She knows i tried every month till now and she knows it hurt me how she was towards me , so im done’ Now by change i mean he’s being very interested and he’s being really nice towards me , even calling me when he’s out with his friends and talking for hours till he gets back home. I don’t really understand how can someone move so abruptly to one person to another so fast. Should i be worried that im gonna get used?

[tylrswftversion]

here is my explanation for this:

You said that he had a break down about his ex and you comforted him, this might be a solid reason for why he's changed with you, it's because when someone sees you at your worst and stick beside you it naturally creates a bond and you're so comfortable and thankful for them so maybe after what happened he started feeling more attached to you and realized that he actually needs someone like you who will be by his side in highs and lows and offer him emotional support.

And for how he moved on overnight I don't think it's sus, because i think that it's just like when you have been overwhelmed for a long time need a good cry to get over it, he had been keeping up with his heartbreak for a long time waiting for her and then one day he just was fed up and broke down and finally decided to let it go, his feelings for her might still be there but he just decided to ignore them and stop clinging to the hope that they might be back together one day and decided to keep up with his life and give love another chance so maybe that's what explains how he changed.

this was my interpretation, and my advice is if he treated you nicely then give it a go but you should take it slowly until you feel that he is finally totally over his ex and that he's not just using you.

[Lozzza7]

It’s good that he is talking to someone about this, that being you! I would definitely take my time with this connection/friendship as he is still hurting and probably wants to distract himself from the pain with another person or possibly to jump into dating someone to make the ex jealous… take your time and just see him as a friend for now.

[Asker]

From what he has explained to me that day was the only time he felt the need to go back to his ex. And the next day he didn’t want to anymore. Regarding getting his ex jealous i don’t think he’s the type to do something like that because he doesn’t like to bother himself too much and also doesn’t like lying

[Lozzza7]

The fact that he changed the next day is the problem… no one who genuinely is over their ex changes overnight.. he needs time so please do not get too emotionally invested yet otherwise you may get hurt.

[Oliverlogan263]

Aww man, that is weird behavior from him for sure. A few things could be goin on:

- He might still have unresolved feelings for his ex deep down and is just using you to try and get over her quicker. Not cool.

- Dudes emotions can be all over sometimes, but a full 180 overnight seems fishy. Like he's tryna convince himself more than you.

- I'd be careful he doesn't just see you as a rebound or way to make his ex jealous if she finds out. Don't wanna get played.

- His constant calling and texts are kinda overbearing too for just starting to talk. Seems desperate.

If I were you, I'd take things real slow with this guy. Don't get too invested yet until you see how he acts over time. His actions gotta match his words consistently before you fully trust him, you know me? Keep your guard up and don't be afraid to walk if red flags keep popping up. You deserve someone stable who knows what they want!

[Asker]

He doesn’t talk in a desperate manner neither is he flirty or pushy for a relationship. He starts to open towards me about things bothering him and so on. Sometimes he’s like a happy child or he is being mature. Neither is he trying with other girls… It feels like he’s getting attached

[Oliverlogan263]

Hmm from that extra context, it does sound a little less sketchy then. If he's genuinely opening up to you and not acting all desperate or flirty, that shows he may be sincerely connecting with you as a person rather than just rebounding.

The fact he's not chasing other girls either is a good sign he might be serious about moving on. Guys will usually start flirting around if they're not over their ex yet. Taking time to just talk and get to know each other without rushing things is smart too.

I'd say keep observing how he acts over the next little while. See if the interest level stays consistent when the "newness" wears off a bit more. If so, maybe he is starting to genuinely like you for you. Boys can change their minds fast sometimes, but attachment is a good sign it's not just a whim either.

As long as he respects your pace and boundaries too, I don't think you need to worry so much about being used yet. Just keep your guard up a little still and trust your gut. But sounds promising so far if he keeps opening up and not acting fake! Could be the real deal sis.

[Asker]

Thank you for the advice , i do hope he’s the real deal but for a while i will keep my guard up in case he stops being consistent and just gets bored

[Oliverlogan263]

Aw man, I totally get where you're coming from. It's hard to fully trust someone new after being burned before, ya know? But you sound like you've got a good head on your shoulders too. Keepin your guard up for now is a smart move while still given' him a chance. Like you said, see how consistent he stays over the coming weeks. If he remains invested in really gettin to know you without gettin bored or distant, then maybe you can start to let your walls down bit by bit. But go at your own pace - there's no need to rush into anything either. Just focus on enjoyin each other's company for now and seein how the chemistry builds up naturally. Have fun with it too! You deserve to experience gettin to know someone without all that worry weighing you down either. Got my fingers crossed this one turns out to be worthy of your awesome self. Keep me posted how things progress - I'm rootin for ya. You got this!

[DreamLife7]

You're slow af. He just told ur dumb ass. He doesn't like u

[Asker]

I don’t think if he wouldn’t like me he would come in my city by train and buy me flowers and so … my question was how could he move on so fast bcus it weirded me out

[DreamLife7]

He doesn't like you. Are u slow? He's using u as a distraction he wants his ex. Ur not pretty and not good enough