Why wouldn’t a guy hang out as friends if he wasn’t interested in me romantically and we have fun together?

[Anonymous]

We were messaging and he actually ghosted me, but I still see him around. We got on really well and had fun together.
Before he stopped talking to me, we’d had a conversation where I’d made it clear I was interested in dating him but if he wasn’t, it would be cool to hang out as mates and he agreed, although he still wanted to get together for a date etc.
But then he ghosted me 2 weeks later. We have mutual friends and it’s hard to understand why he wouldn’t want to be my friend?
Especially as he’s now chasing girls out of his league who talk to him like something they’ve scraped off his shoe.

I still think he’s a cool guy and I thought he was a person worth having in my life as a mate, even if nothing else was going to happen.

[XXTruthfulOgrexx]

He was never your friend regardless to what he said. He wanted to date you and once you shot that down his interest in you dropped to zero. Your literally at the bottom of the list now.

All he did was keep the door open incase something changes or your out together in a friend group so its not awkward.

I do the same to a point. If I express an interest and get rejected, great respect your decision, but your now blocked and ghosted. I have zero interest of knowing any more about you and I already gave plenty of friends and not integrated in adding another. He likely does the same.

[Asker]

I never told him I didn’t want to date him, I never rejected him, how did you come to that conclusion?

I was worried he had ghosted me so I was trying to let him know I liked him without putting pressure on him, trying to give him an easy out so that he didn’t feel like he needed to ghost me. I was saying if he had gone off the idea of dating me, maybe we could still go out as mates. It wasn’t a rejection.

[XXTruthfulOgrexx]

apologies, misread your post.

[Asker]

No worries and thank you for your input, all views help me to get my head around it.

[spartan55]

When you say you were clear about wanting to date him, what does that mean?

[Asker]

He hadn’t responded to me in 5 days, so I thought he had ghosted me. I messaged to say, in a jokey way I was guessing he’d had a better offer, that it was ok if he’d lost interest, it would’ve been fun but if he was up for it we could still hang out as friends and I meant it. He responded and was joking saying it wasn’t like that and we were then organising going out.

We carried on sending flirty messages after that but we both have busy lives and we’re trying to figure out when to get together.

[spartan55]

I didn't see anything clear about dating him, but I guess it doesn't matter.

[Anonymous]

If he wants to have sex with you then he wouldn't want to hang out with you as just friends, but he would be smart to do that because one night you will want sex.

[Lieutenant00]

R u interested in

[Opinion Owner]

@Lieutenant00 What.

[Lieutenant00]

R u interested in online sex or something else

[Opinion Owner]

@Lieutenant00 What are you talking about? I was just answering the question.

[Lieutenant00]

I know but I just wondered

[Opinion Owner]

@Lieutenant00 What the fuck.

[Lieutenant00]

Be calm? Can we talk

[Opinion Owner]

@Lieutenant00 Fuck. Off.

[Lieutenant00]

:(((

[boggboss]

Because he knows u want more

[Asker]

But if he had said he wasn’t interested I would’ve just accepted that and moved on. I’m a grown up, I can handle a straightforward rejection.

[boggboss]

Yet many people can't so maybe he assumed u wouldn't

[Asker]

I guess, better off not being mates if he’s constantly thinking I’m trying to get in his knickers. Shame though

[boggboss]

Pretty much