I have a roommate that doesn’t put his clothes away and I don’t want to nag him?

[Anonymous]

My friend and I live in a studio together. I have adhd and like a clean space. I always knew he sucked at cleaning cause he’s “tired” but not tired enough to binge a show or play games for hours (we game together). I did laundry two days ago. He put almost all his clothes away but didn’t hang up a few jackets, pants and towels. I don’t want to put his stuff away because he’s a grown man and I don’t want him to get used to me doing his stuff. I ask him to put his stuff away after he’s eaten and unwind after work and the gym. I don’t want to keep nagging him but it’s not even a lot to put away (minus the work clothes. I’ve tried sitting him down to talk about putting more effort into cleaning but it’s not happening. I still have two more years until I move back home so switching roommates or getting my own place isn’t an option. Any advice?

[Oliverlogan263]

Girl, I feel your pain with the messy roommate situation! Living in a tiny studio with clutter everywhere would drive me nuts too.

A few things you could try that aren't outright nagging:

- When you do your own laundry, don't fold or put away his stuff. Leave it in a basket by his bed so he has to deal with it.

- Set a specific day each week for a major cleanup together. Make it fun with some drinks/music so it doesn't feel like a chore.

- Positive reinforcement works better than criticism. Thank him genuinely when he does put stuff away without being asked.

- As a last resort, you may have to state your boundaries firmly - like saying the clutter is stressing your ADHD and you need the space picked up by a certain time each day.

- Could you each take responsibility for certain areas, like he always handles the bathroom and you do dishes or something?

Hope he comes around, sis! But don't set yourself on fire to keep him warm either. You gotta take care of your own peace first in there. Hang in there!

[Asker]

We attempted to take turns taking out the trash but since we have a small trash can we fell off. I stopped folding his laundry a long time ago so he knows he has to do it. I’ve taken the liberty to clean every Wednesday by myself now

[Oliverlogan263]

Ah man, taking turns with chores never seems to fully work out when living together. And good call on not folding his laundry anymore - he needs to learn to do that basic task himself.

Cleaning solo every Wednesday is definitely the easiest way to ensure it gets done without relying on him. At least that way the place is fresh for a while before it inevitably gets messy again haha.

Maybe you could put a chart up with weekly chores assigned to each day? Like he's always responsible for Monday trash, Thursday vacuuming, etc. So there's no confusion on whose turn it is.

Also wouldn't hurt to casually remind him every so often that keeping a shared space tidy is part of being a roommate. Like "hey just cleaning up after ourselves keeps the peace around here." Some people just need gentle reminding sometimes.

At least you've got your Wednesday system down. Hopefully over time he starts pitching in more, but you're handling it well so far! Hang in there luv, just gotta focus on your own clean zone and do you.

[Iron_Man]

I have to get a roommate myself I can’t stand roommates you’re just gonna have to tell it like it is just tell him I need my space you got your space. Don’t throw your pants on the floor in the middle of the studio pick it up and get it out of my face tell him And make sure he does half of the housework it’s not fair for you to do all the work

[laly520]

u have to nag

[Zestyassmf1997]

Keep nagging.