How come women show black men love but men don't show black women love?

[Anonymous]

As a black woman who goes online a lot I see women hyping up black men but I don't see the same love shown to us black women. I feel it's harder to be a black woman in America than it is be a black man. As a black woman who is thin, in shape and take care of myself. I feel I have to prove myself constantly to others due to the unfair stereotypes.

Updates

+1 y

It's like us black girls have to be astonishing to get equal attention. If you're black and fat you're basically worthless I'm society.

[MrOracle]

In my opinion, you have a valid point - I *do* think it's harder for black women compared to white women (in the US, at least), though I think the gap is shrinking, for the wrong reason (white women are getting worse, rather than black women getting better). [This isn't aimed at you specifically - I know nothing about you and am not in any position to make any personal judgements, rather I'm making generalizations.]

The main reason why black women struggle is the same reason white women are increasingly struggling: Feminism and the "boss babe"/"strong and independent woman" attitudes. The vast majority of men see this as absolute poison, and would rather be alone than deal with such women - yet this attitude has been pushed onto black women for 60 years, and only more recently (30-40 years) on white women. The vast majority of men absolutely do not want to be in a relationship with a masculine woman who they are in competition with at home and who don't bring them peace. Feminism quite intentionally taught women NOT to be any of the things that men want from women, because Feminism does not want there to be relationships between men and women. This isn't speculation or conspiracy theory - Feminist leaders have stated this outright on many occasions in speeches and in written articles.

The other big reason - though I believe this to be a secondary reason - is that there's a stereotype that black women are generally less moral on average compared to white women - though, again, I think white women have lowered their morals significantly over the last 40 years and have essentially closed the gap (which is NOT good!).

So, yes, you unfortunately DO have to overcome the stereotypes, which is a shame. The good news is that men are well attuned to noticing and separating out the girls who are feminine, happy, and peaceful and who respect men, and such girls will get men's attention. This DOES require being around men IN PERSON, and letting your personality show, but that's still very doable. You must also choose moral men too - if you aren't choosing men based on their morals, values, and life-goals, and making sure they're compatible with yours, then it doesn't really matter what else you do, because your relationships won't have a chance to survive.

Most men honestly don't care what color your skin is - yes, there are exceptions - but they DO care about a woman's attitude, and her morals, values, and life-goals. If you've got those right, you'll have a whole lot less trouble attracting quality men - though you're always going to attract non-quality men as well, and you always need to vet every man to make sure he's actually of good character.

[Anonymous]

It's a lot easier for women to flirt with guys or to show the attention. Then it is for a guy to show a woman Attention Most women always think guys are after one thing., All depends on what type of stuff they're looking or doing online.

[Asker]

So you're saying black women have it easier than black men?

[Opinion Owner]

No. What you're saying is black women. Get no respect

[Opinion Owner]

And black guys get a lot of respect.

[Asker]

So you're saying that black women have it harder.

[Asker]

Due to the lack of respect shown to us.

[Opinion Owner]

I don't know if it's harder but it's definitely not Equal

[Asker]

Yes, I see black men being accepted into country and black women are not.

[Opinion Owner]

Have you had the experience first-hand or was it something you just heard

[Asker]

I haven't experienced first hand but I see a lot of people online praising black men but when it comes to black women there's a lot of anger and hostility. I work my butt off to exercise and eat right and it depreses me to see how my efforts do not change the view points of others.

[Opinion Owner]

So you're looking for a pat on the back or credibility Being in shape.

[Asker]

Yes, considering there's a stereotype going around that black women are fat and obese.

[Opinion Owner]

There are heavy set people in any race. But black women do take the heat because people assume that they live on the system Are lazy

[laly520]

the problem isn't only in others in here but in u too
u have to care less about others validation, their opinions would never define ur worth
u r special, pretty the way u r whether they admit it or not
save ur energy to take care of urself, to love urself
u r the main character of ur own story
rest r only individuals to interact with/work with not there to judge or decide

[Anonymous]

I think it's kind of humorous that you're fighting with your own kind of people Meaning black people. Most people feel threatened by the others Race not their own

[litty736]

Why not date outside ur race?

[Asker]

It's not about dating it's about respect, period.